A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:All married guys out there, I need some help please!I have become very attracted to a man I have known for some time.He is married (I am divorced) and I gather his marriage is not too good lately.I know he has had an infatuation, or massive crush on me for a while, and this has lately become very intensified by a strong rapport and chemistry between us.I can see it in eyes and his actions, and the way he is around me that it is quite strong.He follows me around and gets jealous if I interact with anyone else, and interacts with me like I'm his partner or something.He flirts by touching and gazing at me, sometimes the gazing is very prolonged and intense, which is obviously creating deep feelings in me.Because it has gone on for so long I have let him know that I like him, but have not suggested any interaction. I don't want to come across as a loose woman.Lately the flirting has become even stronger, but I am getting the feeling that I am being taken for a ride so to speak. Surely he would have said something by now!He isn't suggesting anything, but seems to be trying to keep things the way they are (not moving forward, or putting a stop to it either)I know that married men sometimes flirt for fun, but surely this is now bordering on cruel or disrespectful to lead someone on like this just for a bit of fun.i know he has feelings for me so why can't he just say so but that he can't be unfaithful to his wife?I'm in really deep with my feelings, how long can I be expected to wait for a move, or is he really playing me?Surely no man can be that cruel.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, StatueGal76 +, writes (6 October 2015):
 Well, I guess this is going to be the Flip side to everyone on here.You know he's gaming. Flat out. He has whatever reasons and they are more than likely expected, boring and unimaginative for any coupled person.Knowing he is Gaming use the expectation that 1)You by far, are not alone on his 'Hitlist'. Several Women are. Game is a numbers game, you play often, w/ repetition- so U aren't the only. You may not even be the only at work.2)Sleeping w/ him. Your choice. But no heart. Check it w/ your morality.Don't emotionally avail yourself. It's hard.3)Don't out all ur eggs in his lil basket.regardless of whatever, play the field. Use his compliments to make u feel confident and stand tall and strut. It may be just what the doc ordered- may even catch a few more eggs than expected. ;)4) if u do fling it- no communication. No cell calls, texts,notes, receipts. No pics. No video. Zilch.No momentos.5)Have fun
A
female
reader, gia.anabel.13  +, writes (10 October 2013):
Hi..I am in the same situation..I was curious if this man ever said anything to you in the end??? I know people are different but it would be interesting to know if he ever had the guts to admit his feeling?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 June 2010):
 he is already being cruel and disrespectful to his wife, by flirting and having some sort of emotional affair with another woman while he is still married. So why should not he be crueland disrespectfulo to other wo9men with whom after all he has no moral obligations.
Also, since you think he'd say he cannot be unfaithful to his wife- what would be the practical purpose of having him spell out his attraction to you ? Since nothing could happen between you anyway,right ?- any romantic talks would be super4fluous....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): MARRIED MAN
What can I say. My boss he staired at me for months then he decided he's putting a full stop by avoiding me completly. That even made it worse because he had to turned his body around when he talked to someone so he doesn't have to see my face this way he tried and tried for months and he succeded. There were some times that he did stair now and then but knowing I am indian he had to check his reality out whether I am going to accept him being a christain. Where is this going to take him if he fails then he will loose his family for ever is this worth it? he asked. He is smart so he's just want's to play eye contact love and I think it's good enough for him.
It does makes me unconfortable I am divorced we are both in our 50s I do not want any man this life I can't handle the stress. I like being on myown
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A
male
reader, atomsmasher +, writes (9 June 2010):
He is not hesitating like the above poster wrote, she is full of shit. And, you're in luck because I was this same exact man last year, and I know exactly what he is doing.
He's being a challenge to you because he is head over heels for you in a way that you can't even imagine. He is not going to tell you how he feels because he wants you to feel the same ATTRACTION for him that he feels for you. He knows that if he tells you what you want to hear, it is game over for him, just like you "giving it up" is game over for you. So, you guys are just holding onto your goods and seeing who is going to crack first.
He knows that most guys immediately show you their interest and you get turned off. He is smart and experienced enough to be different.
Of course you have the advantage because you can rope him in by making him jealous. That is easy, especially for pretty girls, and even though he won't appear jealous, he wants to slam you on the bed and pound you into pieces, when he sees potential competition. Trust me.
But here is the bad part about all this. It is really a lose-lose. Guys are not like girls and they DO NOT NEED EXCLUSIVITY!!! He can happily bone you and eat dinner next to his wife, all in a days work. So, you're probably never going to get what you want, and even if you do, you're gonna have trust issues once the dust settles.
But, like I said. He likes you. If he makes a move like goes in for a kiss and you don't do it, he will act like it doesn't bother him. But, you might not hear from him for a few weeks/months/ever, so make sure if you shoot him down, you don't make him feel like he's being played an ass for too long, or you'll end up getting hurt.
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A
female
reader, Empressjai +, writes (8 June 2010):
 What are these deep feelings you say you have over a man that doesnt talk to you? You say you know he has feelings for you - how do you know this when he fails to talk to you? So all a man has to do is to stare at you long and hard and hey presto! you have all these feelings for him. This man is married probably bored and is looking for an easy quick shag. Is that how you see yourself? What he displays isn't jealousy he is being territorial and not wanting any other dog to get his bone. There are no feelings here except needy infatuated ones. In order for a man to disrespect you he would need to have been respectful towards you first. And your intuition is kicking you telling you you're being taken for a definite ride so pay attention. This man isn't playing you yet so drop the drama.
You let him know you like him but dont want to appear loose - hes married and you will be a loose woman if you entertain his crap. He isn't being cruel those 'feelings' your feeling were generated by you all bcos some married man is looking at you as if you were a bit of meat on a spit and you like this? You need to understand what is going on here you need to grow up and put distance between this man and look for an available man who might treat you with respect better still you need to learn how to treat yourself with a bit more respect in the first place so you can attract a respectful man.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 June 2010):
Of course a man can be that cruel. If he cheated, he would be cruel, because he'd be hurting his wife. And ultimately you'd get hurt as well. Married men make it obvious when they want you, but they don't make their motives so obvious. For example, he does seem to want you. But for what? Probably just to use you. So if I were you, I'd back away.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 June 2010):
 Why are you pursuing a married man? He's hesitating because he knows what he's contemplating is wrong and will devastate the wife that he loves. Yes, married men flirt for their ego's sake and to prove to themselves that they still "got" it, but this guy has gone beyond that and his holding himself back.
You don't want to come across as a "loose" woman, but wrecking a home doesn't bode well for your reputation. Don't wait for him to make a move. YOU make a move - AWAY from him and to a single guy.
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