A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I have recently turned 17. I have a boyfriend who's in jail at the moment and has been in for about 8 months. Problem is i love another guy. I have no clue what to do and its really frustrating, i know my boyfriend loves me so much as he rings me every day to say he loves me. This other guy that i'm in love with loves me too. I just dont know what to do, please help :( thanks guy. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): I am in the same situation. My man has been in prison for 10 months now and has about 7 months left. I am now in love with someone else, but can not bring myself to tell him while he is stuck there because I know that I am part of what helps him make it day to day in there. It is a very tough situation to be in. I think that it is best to wait until he is released to tell him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): OK, first you're 17...what do you really know of true love, or these guys who claim to love you?You're jail bird is a loser...dump him. dump him now!the other is only looking to get into your pants...shame on you if you've let him.At 17 you got a lot of life ahead of you. You may think you know yourself, and what you want in a man, and out of life. I'm here to tell you that what you think you want at 17 will surely change when you hit 20, and then again late than that.Don't rush for love. Rush to find yourself, get an education, and find some independence so you don't need to count on any man for your prosperity. A man should be a companion to YOUR life, not an identity to it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): I guess he has hurt you by ending up going to jail and leaving you isolated. We all have our reasons for behaviour but when the consequences are so severe it is important to protect those we love? Don't feel too bad but I think you need to decide - one or the other.
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A
female
reader, Natalie1987  +, writes (8 June 2010):
You should break up with him first before you love the other guy. He may hurt but he will heal. If you love your boyfriend right now, wait until he came out from jail and call him and tell him that you will not able to see him anymore. Don't tell him you have another guy. He'll do something to you and your bf. Now just don't answer his call or don't contact to him. When he come out from jail and contact to you then tell him you want to move on with your life and tell him to leave you alone. don't make him to hate you. Just talk clear and sweet. good luck.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 June 2010):
 Normally I would suggest breaking it off with your boyfriend before dating someone else, but these are unusual circumstances. In this case, I think I'd refrain from telling him until he is released because his time in jail is already pretty awful to him, and if you add the pain of losing you with no recourse and him helpless in jail, you will absolutely shatter him. I think personally that it would be cruel. Right now, you are one of the things that he's holding onto that's helping him cope with where he is.
However, when he's released from jail, upon seeing him out in the open, THEN you tell him. If he's in jail for a violent crime, you won't want to tell him by yourself. but don't bring the new guy with you!!! Bring a brother or someone else who is platonic.
When you break it off with him, try and avoid telling him about the new guy in terms of "we're in love with each other". If he asks you if there's someone else, don't lie, but be vague. Just say you're interested in someone else. Otherwise, you may want to just keep the conversation about you and him.
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