A
male
age
,
*reemind
writes:Hi,I got a problem with relationships and sexuality.Sexual i'm attracted to men. When masturbating in 80 % its about men. Also i have more sexual contact with men in real live. I'm going to gay bars and find these men to have sex with. But i never fall in love with them.Also when i watch porn i'm looking to gay porn. But on the other hand i 'm looking a lot to nude women on the internet even more than i watch gay porn. But i never watch heterosexual porn. When i watch vaginas sometimes i like them and get sometimes aroused but even as many times i think they weird and comes to me as strange.A penis never comes to me as weird Most of the time i like them. When i start watching i never can say what it will be for that day. My feelings can change in an hour. But know the real problem. When i'm going to a straight bar I love the women i see and they are realy attractive to me. And i feel i easily fall in love with them. In staight bars i don't even see the guys.There is an exception and thats when they are obvious gay. Than all the bells are rinkel. But still i didn't fall in love with a man.I must say i don't fall in love very easy. Sometimes when i'm in a gay bar and a women comes in i find it disturbing. but it also happend that i immediatly ask my self what i'm doing there because like what happend in a straight bar all bells are rinkling for women. It drves me crazy. I feel living in a split but not in a lie. Well the best that i can say is that i love to be sexually with men and emotionally whit women. I like being sexually with some women but it doen't feel that deep as with men.I like feeling emotionally with some men but it doen't feel that deep as with women. My question is what direction I should look for a relationship. I think in a gay bar i will never find what i'm looking for.In a relationship with a women i know that after a while we will live as brother and sister and we will have a sexual beddead. No matter how much i love them.Yes... I got a problem. Best is, I think, to open emotionally for men and fall in love for a man. I'm 49 nine and in my early years my sexual feelings to women were much stronger. Am I turning slowely Gay? Is that possibly? Bisexual is always what I tought I was.After my divorce from a women this all started.What do you think? About labels i think as followed. A lot off people can't say what they are only on your dead bed you can say I lived as gay, bi or hetero.What is your advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): What you have to realize is that homosexuality and bisexuality walked hand in hand for thousands of years, you see it in mostly every living creature that walks this planet.
It is normal for people to feel attracted to the same sex as it is normal to be attracted to the opposite sex, but...
A short history story, a few hundred years ago and before that, we humans were constantly at war, and in order for the tribe to grow stronger, there was need for children. Because of this, in many faiths you see that man x man or woman x woman cannot give the tribe any new children to grow stronger, hence it was viewed as dishonorable at some point.
Genetically, 1 in 4 people is either homosexual or bisexual, but with nowadays society being as it is, this is in many cases not respected. People grow up being taught that heterosexuality is the only "right" way, and people grow up believing that being attracted to the opposite sex is the only right thing to do.
In the past, in some strategic way, yes it would be better to make our mass grow stronger, but nowadays, we are starting to have a over population, so more homosexual relationships will help the planet in the long run.
A long story short:
Many many many people are bisexual, but a great many of these people do not realize it about themselves, and even those that do banish the thought from their mind, because they feel it is "wrong". It is not wrong to be bisexual or gay, and I believe that yes, you are most likely bisexual. In fact, if you walk down your street, and there is 40 people living (20 couples), at least 10 of these happily married people are also gay or bisexual without knowing it.
So dont worry, you are just being a healthy human that has come to the right conclusions :)
A
female
reader, Auntie  +, writes (14 November 2010):
You are probably bisexual, and you wont always love the first person you see, try exploring both sexes untill you find love with some one. It can take a while to find mr/miss right.
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