A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I m in my 40 s with really young men hitting on me ALL THE TIME,Yes, I m pretty, in good shape, look younger, but aren't they afraid that if I say yes, they will have to see my naked not very young body and do things to it?I had children, breastfed them, Though I kept myself good over the years my body show results of me living a life. My breast is not perky anymore, I have extra skin here and there. I can't even start comparing myself with any 20 something girl., that these guys are accustomed to. Why on earth they want to be intimate with a woman who is almost their mothers age?I m flattered, needless to say, still not understanding what they see in me?I m asking this question looking for some opinions as recently I met this guy, who is in his mid to late twenties.We suddenly became friends. He is not only handsome but also is a very smart boy, makes me laugh, and displays curiosity about my life, my hobbies, asking questions. I think he really likes to spend time with me and it's mutual. All was going good, until couple months ago I had a sudden feeling that he started flirting with me. I didn't encourage it in any way, making a joke of it. Well, now its pretty straightforward invitation to have sex. I m tempted, I m a single woman , I can do what I want with my sex life, but for the reasons described above, I won't go for it.I can't tell him what I think about him seeing me naked, I can't ask him, isn't he afraid that he is not going to like me. I just wish he would stop talking about sex all the time and we could be friends as we were from the beginning.
View related questions:
flirt, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): Sound like me a few months back. But my age gap was waaaay bigger. He's 19, I am 41. Have been there a few times with him, but because I am not so confident about my body I won't let him come to my house during the day, it's only been casual stuff in the car where I don't have to get naked! He did all the chasing in the begining. Long term it won't go anywhere, I wouldn't want it to, so it's probably different.
Young guys LOVE experienced confident women, & where i'm not so confident about my body with the lights on, I am very confident sexually. So in the car having fun is the biz for him!
If you over come the body confidence thing though, let me know! I am slowly losing weight mind you, nearly down to size 10 again, then I will probably be brave enough for day time sex with him!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): Thank u all again for your answers.
Just to answer few of them:
I know how unrealistic it is to expect a long term relationship with someone who one day would want a family, and I m done reproducing:)
I would want a fling, tell u the truth, I really don't have these many sexual encounters on a regular basis, as I don't have a permanent boyfriend.
This would be perfect, if could also stay friends as we are now. I know sex changes things.
I think I'm also a fantasy to him, something may be he never did before, I mean age wise.
Thank u for sharing your story, soveryconfused. I m happy for your changes to the better.may be it is a good idea to tell him about my worries if we get close to it, I just don't want ton sound insecure, which I m in this case.:)
He keeps on complimenting me every single time I see him on my looks.
I just realized writing all these if he was my age or older he would be the perfect man for me. He Always knows what to say, being sincere at the same time. May be it's true that age is just a number.
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (16 June 2012):
 A man in his mid to late 20's is generally more interested in a long term relationship and usually has the wisdom to note that you aren't a spring chicken anymore.
I believe that men his age are tired of the young 20 year olds who haven't quite figured out their life and aren't mature enough. I know when I was in my 20's, I found women my age flighty, not emotionally mature, and generally more into themselves then anything else. I tended to associate and flirt with women who were 5 - 10 years older than me. Many of the situations worked out to be very good relationships.
I think you have to go on each relationship on a case by case basis. Take your time and make sure the guy is in it for the same reasons you are. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, be upfront about it and make your decision based upon his response and his interest in you. If he is solely around just for sex, you'll know it pretty quickly. If you just want to be friends, again, be clear about your intentions so that he isn't misled.
Finally, these days it is more socially acceptable for younger men to be with older women. Again, if you are compatible with one another and your are both fulfilling one another's needs I see no reason why you should hesitate to enjoy his company.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 June 2012):
 Don't short-change yourself!!! You're probably a LOT more enticing (to young men... or ANY man!!!) than you believe!!
When I was younger, I had a terrible crush on a woman who my fellow office-mates labelled "Mrs Over-40".... She was BLISTERIN' hot ..... probably like YOU!!!!
Live with the flattery.....
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 June 2012):
 I'm 52 my fiance is 39. when we first met I was 2 years past gastric bypass and 6 months prior to plastic surgery.
My boobs that had breastfed two babies from 1984-1989 (without stopping) laid on the bed themselves when I laid on my back... my belly sagged with skin below my pubic hair...
it was a sad ugly mess. He loved me then... he nursed me through plastic surgery.. (which I do NOT recommend for purely minor cosmetic adjustments mine was SO BAD the insurance company covered it!)
I still have horrible skin on my back and thighs and butt and he still loves me and wants me and is marrying me in October.
when we started I was "not his type" and he was not mine.
we are getting married in October... because now we are the perfect fit.
trust that this man sees your insides and wants that...the wrapping ia just that... and sagging boobs and a soft belly are not the end of the world with a woman a man loves...
if you want pick up some lovely nighties with underwire int he boobs... believe it or not walmart sells some great ones cheap and donates a portion to breast cancer awareness from this company.... I got in the habit of wearing a tank top or an underwire nightie for a long time... and finally I was able to let him see me....
if you are nervous and you get to the sexual point with him, let him know how you feel... trust me he will put your fears to rest...
...............................
A
male
reader, Discovery +, writes (16 June 2012):
Sounds like they think a lot more of you than you think of yourself. I'm sure that they already considered everything you're worried about lol. If you like them back, great, if not then no harm done and just feel complimented.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): Thanks guys, for smart and fun answers.
AuntyEm: I m pretty sure he is not going to Ask for money, he did well for himself at his you ng age with his business and a own house. He is from a different background then most of us, with plenty of money of his own.
This also adds to my bewilderment, as he could have any girl, and I m sure he does.
Well, I need to have another look at my insecurities, and may be start Appreciating more what I ve got:)
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 Maybe he's going to keep the lights switched off :)
Hey just kidding !!
I can only tell you that I had young men doing things to my not very young body, and they liked it, they liked it a lot.
Don't knock yourself down. First off , a healthy, reasonably fit, well cared 40something body is different from a 20something body, but not so different from a 30something body- that closes the visual gap.
Then, luckily , sensuality and magnetism ( not to mention feelings, when they develop ) are not about perkiness and perfection.
After all , there are plenty of imperfect bodies and faces even among the young ones , not everybody is born a Hollywood starlet. And there are very good looking women without an ounce of sex appeal.
Sexual charisma is luckily one of the few things that time takes a very moderate toll on. Years ago a friend of mine in his 20s worked as an extra in some show or Tv movie or whatnot featuring Lauren Bacall who was around 75,maybe more. He told me wow that lady is HOT. I was rather incredulous, I said she can't be " hot" at 75, you mean that she is still classy or interesting or intriguing... and he : no I mean she is damn HOT.
Well, Lauren Bacall is a rather extreme example, there aren't many around like her, but may point is if you've got " it " , you've got it , and it won't leave you for a long time. Your " itness " does not come only from your breasts or flawless unlined skin or flat stomach, albeit these things are surely nice ; it comes from a combination of more subtle elements, personality, confidence, sensuality, sweetness, who knows. The fact is anyway that this young man has seen " it " in you, so don't worry . In fact ,if you really have to worry, don't ask yourself if you'll be good enough for him, but the opposite- is he good enough for you ?....
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 Life is too short...go for it, enjoy yourself...
Just practice safe sex and don't give him any large amounts of money if he asks!!
Men do not care about perfect bodies if they like you, they like you...
Have fun and smile :-)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 June 2012):
Because he fancies you!
I'm dating an older woman, and have been for three years. And to be honest, I've had the time of my life. She's smart, sexy, interesting, confident and I'm completely taken by her. So what if she's older than me? I'm having fun, she's having fun and that's all that matters.
Like you, my girlfriend does have a few hang-ups, and like you she has sometimes wondered what I see in her that I don't see in 20 year olds. And I keep telling her the same thing, that I just fancy her. And I do.
You don't need to worry about what he'll think of seeing you naked. He's already made his mind up about that. He'll love it.
All that said, if you really don't want to have a fling with him, or even more, then it's best to politely explain that you like him, but that his constant 'hitting' isn't what you're looking for.
But, if do want fun and you can see that he really fancies you, then I say go for it.
...............................
|
