A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:The first time discovered my girlfriend on the internet asking for quickies and affairs she became angry when I tried to discuss it and she just told me I`m paranoid and was being mentally abusive by making allegations through my own guilt, and I should just get over myself. This time I walked in when she was doing it,but this time she could not deny it has blamed me for not talking to her enough and said I invade her privacy. It has never stopped her jealous behaviour towards me if anyone looks at me,theres hell to pay. I don't really want to leave - but I can't spend the rest of my life living like this. She will not go for counseling as she doesn't think we have a problem other than me. She has never wanted my opinion on any plans,she just makes them regardless and I have to adhere. If not, I am then compared to her ex who she says made her life unbearable. I have left several times for her to find me and cry tears in front of an audience,but refuses to discuss anything,only that I dumped her. She is 38 I am 43. Can you relate to this and I would appreciate hearing your thoughts.
View related questions:
affair, her ex, jealous, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2011): Why does she behave like that? Thats easy! She wants to. Did you ever ask if she ever cheated on her abusive ex (lol)? She does not deserve you or anyone who`s even touching decent. Stick it out and you will end up just as screwed up as she is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2011): Looking through them web sites is not what you do if you are in a relationship you want to be in. By looking for you when you leave,it says she is looking for a secret thrill and wants to cheat,not replace you. I advise you to never see or contact her again. She is a slate short of a roof.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): she is an embarassment. She has no connection with your feelings or anything except her own impulsive behaviour. Run as fast as you can.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): Dont waste another moment. She is a full on nut case. She wont have it in her to be a loyal partner to you. She cannot even accept your right to refuse her treatment. This is going to lead you to believing you are worthless. Its her thats worthless. I hope you take sense and leave. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (27 October 2011):
Tell her why you are leaving. If she lies,cries or denies,just repeat the reason why you are leaving. Do not say anything other than the reason you are leaving. Stay out of her way,if she finds you tell her again and again why you have left and dont let her change the subject.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 October 2011):
 So she's looking for ways to cheat on you and then calling you paranoid, she's jealous, doesn't want help for any of her problems, compares you to her ex, creates a scene whenever things don't go her way....is there anything that's left?! She is immature, selfish, manipulative and not someone who you can depend on. Show me one reason why you are still with her! Don't get taken in by the crocodile tears, its only a way to manipulate you. How can you not see the obvious?
Seriously, just 3 words for you.
"Run Forrest Run!"
...............................
A
male
reader, doublejack  +, writes (27 October 2011):
Unfortunately I can relate. My ex-wife was just like this, only she'd use her cell phone instead of the computer to contact other men. She would get angry and defensive if I tried to talk to her about it, she was controlling and drove away my friends, and she ultimately blamed me for her cheating when I finally told her we were finished.
I'm sorry, but your girlfriend sounds very self-centered and inconsiderate, which are typical traits of cheating partners. Your best move here is to break it off and move on, because she's unlikely to change her ways.
Best of luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): It doesnt matter why she behaves like she does. You will never know that as she tells lies and blames you. She probably wont know the answer to that herself. Her plans without asking you show she is not in touch with you as a couple. You are an extension of her. Be a man and get the hell out. That is the only thing that really matters right now.
...............................
A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (27 October 2011):
 She blames you but wont end it,she refuses to get any help because she wants her life as it is. She probably has not got the capacity to question herself,let alone accept responsibility for her disrespectful behavior. She too has a jealous streak. A classic psychological thriller on any tv,but in real life it is a recipe for disaster. You know what you have to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): How long have you been with her? You may have only hit the tip of the iceberg in what you have found. Grow some balls and keep your ass at a great distance. You dont want to leave???? "SHE IS A LIAR, and when she is in no situation to deny it, she shifts the blame to add to your hurt. Mr. man, listen carefully, she is a living hell.
...............................
A
female
reader, babygirllovej  +, writes (27 October 2011):
 I'm sorry to hear your girlfriend is treating you like this. You do not deserve what she has been (and is) doing to you. Leave her.She will never stop and she has zero respect for you. If she makes a scene in public...walk away. Take some time for yourself to get over her and your bad experiences with her. Trust me, not all girls are like her. There is plenty who would love to be in a relationship with you and respect you. Someone who makes the choices WITH you not for you. I was never happy with my ex and he blackmailed me to stay with him. I finally worked up the nerve to leave and now I have the most amazing boyfriend who respects and loves me. Don't settle for less. Good Luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): Leave her and no matter what you do, do not go back. I have similar experience and the longer you dont go back, she will eventually start to accept it. The dating sites wont stop with or without you. The best thing would be if she met someone off one so she will heve a new paranoid abusive man in her life,who she will fall in love with very quickly. Look up narcissistic personality disorder.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): She's pretty manipulative isn't she, never mind disrespectful towards you. Every time you give in to her you are letting her rule you and will have no self respect left soon.
Her actions speak very loud, she looks for hook-ups online when you are in a relationship together.
Just leave, walk away, if she crys in public, let her, turn away, its emotional blackmail.
I hope you find the strength because there are women out there that will treat you properly and shes not one of them.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): OMG!!!!... You dont want to leave but you know theres no other option. The online stuff is enough to make someone run a mile. Even worse, she isn't interested in your feelings.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (27 October 2011):
 Yes, dump her. Maybe you want to talk to her to find out how she could treat you like this. Her denial is wasting your time. When someone in a relationship is acting like she is still single she is not your girlfriend anymore, maybe she had not been from the start.
...............................
|
