A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Readers.Could someone please give me some advice.I am feeling very depressed about numerous events that have taken place in my life over the last 12 months including the death of my two cats in April of this year within 2 months of one another.I feel like I just can't get over this, yet I cannot seem to convince myself to get anymore pussy cats.I also avoid people as I feel bored with most peoples company.I don't know whether depression is the cause of my non-desire to continue to get to know a guy that has been calling me from a dating agency or whether I am just not interested in him.I would like to know whether it is okay for me to feel pissed off that all this guy talks about when he rings me is his work and what jobs he needs to fix up and that no-one listens to him. He said he went to see a Psychologist regards this non-listening business. I'm starting to wonder whether he has control issues as every time he rings me all he talks about is what jobs he has to fix up and that he would rather do the jobs himself as the other guys always stuff up. He is reminding me of me ex who was a control freak and complained constantly about the guys at work stuffing up yet when he was offered a promotion to Supervisor he didn't take it. My ex was also very abusive verbally to me.I have also been working on setting boundaries with men as I was not taught any as a child and am consequently quite vulnerable to exploitation and have spent the last 20 years being a Crisis Care Line to my Mother about my sister who is a Drug Addict. In Feb this year I refused to listen to my Mum anymore as it has totally exhausted me and I'm sick of feeling used up by what my Psychiatrist says are Emotional Vampires. I also found myself saying to this new guy the last time I spoke to him that I had to go to cook myself some dinner and that I was tired and needed to go to bed. He then continued to go on about another job and cement falling out of cracks that he had to fix. I'm feeling that he was not respecting my boundaries the way he just went on and on. I have now blocked his number yet I still see his number coming up every day as he is obviously trying to call me.A couple of weeks ago with the advice from my Psychologist she recommended that I say to him that I can't do this anymore and I need some space. I said that to him and then I received flowers and he continued to call me. My Psychologist says that I cannot afford to continue to give men chances as I have in the past and consequently been used up both for emotional support from my Mother who got abusive when I recommended she call a Counsellor to discuss my Sister and also used up sexually by men when I give them another chance. I don't want to do this anymore but with this current guy as he hasn't exactly abused me I don't know what to say to him to make him stop calling without sounding nasty etc.Does anyone please have some advise on how to deal with this situation. Thank-you.
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at work, depressed, flowers, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ShiShisAdvice  +, writes (27 October 2011):
 Don't answer your phone when he calls or better yet, block his number so you won't hear it ring. When you are ready, unblock it. Easy-peasy
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