A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Ive been with my bf for about 5 years now. He's the only bf ive ever had and i love him very much. We have been going through some bumps in the road for about 6 months now and although we both care and love each other very much, i'm beginning to doubt whether hes the right person for me.I think i'm torn b/c he's a great guy, very romantic and would honestly take a bullet for me. He's told me a thousand times that he would do anything for me and that i'm it for him. Lately though, although i do love him and care for him deeply i dont feel as attracted as i used to be to him. For example we just came back from a 10 day vacation and we had sex 2 times. I didn't want him to really kiss me or touch me and one time i actually felt repulsed by him. Why am i feeling this?? He's handsome and cute but for some reason attraction has been fading. I love spending time with him and cuddling with him but sometimes i worry that if im lacking the attraction now what will i be feeling in 5 years time? Sometimes i wonder if i love him but im not in love with him? I keep changing my mind as to whether i want to be with him or not and he's gotten to the point in telling me its selfish of me to keep doing this to him. He knows what he wants and i dont. He said he'd rather me break up with him then to keep playing with his heart, which i agree b/c its hurting him. But i cant seem to let him go b/c i still love him and always thought we'd get married. His devotion to me is rare and i'm not sure i'd ever find someone like him out there again. Please help me figure this out?? I know i owe it to my self and him to be happy. I dont want to hurt him bc i know he'll be devastated and i dont want to make the wrong decision and regret it my entire life. Thanks for you help Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I do not usually suggest this but I think what you need here is a break. Spend some time a part from each other, take some time to yourself and figure things out. I am aware that he would probably think that suggesting a break would mean breaking up in the end. This may very well be the case but I think right now, considering how you feel at the moment, a break would be for the best.
I hope that helps.
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