A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, Okay...I feel like a pathetic 17 year old- ive never had a bf..I used to be a bit of an ugly duckling, but I've grown into myself more, gained some confidense ect, that was 2 years ago...why have I still not got a bf?There have been so many guys Ive liked but I never told them (I have low self esteem, and I knew they wouldnt like me back)I feel like theres someething wrong with me.. help:(
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncheers guys..thats really helped.. I guess i feel silly because i've NEVER had a bf..and surrounded by friends who are dating..it gets you quite low..but thank you for ur help x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Grl tis bcoz u r desparate, u nid 2 take it easy, fil gud bout yoself nd da man u want wil folo. M 18 nd stil very single, dnt b ashamd grl wen u ready emotionaly 2 den u wil gt a bf. Gudluk
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A
male
reader, uncle_baj +, writes (12 May 2008):
 as im sure everyone will say......dont look for love it will find u,i wasnt attracted to anybody and felt i had some sort of problem,this was until the one place i wasnt lookin for a potential partner,work,and in came a girl (1st girl that ever worked there) adnd we got talkin tthen i ended up satying with her for 3 years,ruined my life now but just sayin,its true,especially with women,men can pick up on needy girls and i think i speak for us all when i say this but men dont lie needy girls,we like a chase,self confidence is a very attractive feature to have,but if u keep searchin everywhere u go u will always overlook the ones that count x
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A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Every time I worried that I didn't have a boyfriend I chased them off. It's like they can smell the desperation and they run.
Every time I STOPPED worrying and just went on with my life, suddenly the guys were there. Seriously.
What you need to do is stop worrying about guys, and become the person who will attract the guy you want. Get comfortable in your own skin, by yourself, and you will become attractive.
Self confidence is SEXY. It really is. To gain self confidence, get busy. Play a sport, join a club, take a dance class, sing in a choir, study something (bonus points if it's with people). When you're confident that you do something well, the self confidence comes on its own.
In the meantime, stop worrying about being single. This is time to work on being the person you want to be, for yourself. Good luck hon!
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A
female
reader, growing  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Something is surely wrong with you.
Till the time ,you won't show your feelings,how can you expect to get a bf?And if somehow ,a guy asks you out and you still prevail this shy attitude then even he will withdraw himself.
So now you know where you are wrong.I personally feel that beautiful gals are only 5%,rest 95% are average but appeal more to guys than those gals.
People are nomore after beauty they go with over all personality.
"Personality is not an existing substantive entity to be searched for but a complex construct to be developed and defined by the observer."
(Smith & Vetter, 1982, p.5)
You can do wonders with right approach.Confidence is the key to success to fetch jobs as well as hearts.
So be confident and discover yourself.
Next time you like sumone atleast let him know that you are intersted in him to see what he feels about you.
there is someone for every soul in this universe.
for you too.
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A
female
reader, softballplaya +, writes (12 May 2008):
 okay dear what you need to do is be bold and ask them out!
once highschool is done and over with you will never have to see those people again so be bold, be daring and make a move!
there is no harm in doing that, the worst that can happen is being told "no" Thats all, so is this two letter word going to stop you from being with who you like?! I know how you feel about being an ugly duckling at one time becasue so was I. But like you said you grow into yourself and change. So put the person you were in the past and leave her there because now your a brand new you! Keep confidence dont let what anyone says make or break you. If you want a bf and the guys arent making the move, then clearly its up to you!
have fun and enjoy
=]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Sweetie.. I lost my virginity at 21 and I didnt even know what it meant to have true love until 24.
Enjoy your life now, because once you get into the world of boys, you'll be earning for days when there were no boyproblems.
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A
female
reader, muffy +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Hunny,theres nothing wrong with you.You got more self confidence and thats a good thing.You should tell the guys that yu like them cause then they knoe how you feel and maybe they would get the balls to ask you out.And everyone is beautiful,even you.Im not perfect,I have my imperfections,and so do/did you.So its not you that has a pproblem,its the guys.
love always,
Muffy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Tell them.
What's the worst that can happen? They tell you "No".
So? You're no worse off. Pick a guy. Tell him you like him. See what happens. If he says no then move on to the next. There's millions of them out there! Somewhere is the one who is exactly right for you, but you will never find him until you make that first step. Most men of your age are shy of rejection too, you know.
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