A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,i met this fella through a friend,we arranged to meet up and seemed to both get on really great, so much so he stayed with me for nearly 4 days,took a day off work and also cancelled a previous arrangement.Anyway he has gone home now and although could have called had he wanted to, he hasnt, but i have called him...on the evening after seeing him, i text him to say i enjoyed our time together, then called him 4pm the following afternoon as i had heard nothing,he said he was sorry he hadnt called but had only just got credit, and said i can give him a call if i want later but after 9pm he will be going to bed, so i called him we chatted for quite some time, he then said he would text me in the morning,guess what i havent heard nothing from him all day no call or txt so i have taken his contact number off my phone so i resist calling him,so if he really seemed to like me so much so he was falling over himself to see me in the first place...really!...why is he not calling? He even said he wouldnt have stayed if he didnt like me, so what is he up to?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): I agree, it does sound like a one-night stand.
If you are looking for something deeper, maybe you could think about whether you want to go to bed with someone you hardly know, so soon.
A
male
reader, binhquangdao  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 to be honest it's a one night stand to him from a guy point of view you are being way to clingy and most of us guys hate that we stay there for 4 days not 4 months it was just a fling. So if doesn't call it's because he's not your husband or obligated to call but if you make him obligated then he feels like what am i getting myself into if you are that really into him and he's really into you he will call but since he hasn't called and tried to ignored you leave it at that and just let it be just move on.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (18 April 2008):
 I had a similar situation but instead of doing what Collaroy and Birdynumnins said for you to do, I let him drag me through some cat and mouse game of "I'm going through issues right now, give me some time" for nearly 3 months.
Collaroy is right and my situation verifies it. This is a man who can not commit and will not commit. If he does call you might get another "date" out of it but then you will put yourself through some more downs and then some ups and you will make yourself sick over "what is going on."
I kid you not. The guy who did this to me said on two occasions "I will call you tomorrow" and did not. He told me he wanted to take me to the theatre, play darts and go to a move. That never happened. When we talked on the phone (for hours) he was the most attentive, wonderful man I've ever talked to but follow through...forget it. To me that speaks of "I'm not that into you." And he wasn't.
You are best to say, this dude does not meet my expectations for decency and be done with him. Because really, he has not been decent to you. He should have been the one to call you and thank you and then rmemeber he said he would text and then he didn't.
He wont get better with time.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Totally agree with Collaroy. If this was a friend or a family member, you would be furious if they hadn't called to thank you for putting them up for the weekend. Having a lover treat you this way is kind of the writing on the wall - he's a giant horse's ass and not worth your worry, time or effort. Write him off. Sorry to be so blunt, but that burnt my butt too.
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A
female
reader, unbound88 +, writes (18 April 2008):
 He's "not that into you" like the book of the same name. Plain and simple. Your intuition is right on this one. I suggest you read this book - it is by Greg Behrendt. It will change your life like it did mine, and lend a new perspective on this subject. Don't waste another thought or breath on him and hold out for someone who WILL want to call you because they WANT to be with you!!! Actions always speak louder than words. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Hi,
I can never figure these ones out. We see it so often on this site, guys make all the effort to see a girl and then go off the boil.
But we see it so often here it is a genuine pattern of behaviour. I just think you have got a guy who is unable to commit himself even on the most basic level. This doesnt really bode well for the future does it? If he is this unreliable now, he certainly won't get better.
He if calls tell him thanks but no thanks.
good luck
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