A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive had sex more then 10 times but i dont feel pleasure in it. ive never orgasmed and im always soooo relaxed. his penis is big and im always in the mood but i just for some reason dont feel pleasure when i have sex with a guy. someone helppp?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe aren't going out anymore but whenever we had sex the 'routine' was always the same...as in how having sex came around...like this...
we were in his bedroom. we'd kiss passionately and pull each others bodies together undressing each other still kissing rubbing each others hands everywhere and then we would take off all our clothes and he would finger me and then when he got hard he went in and we would usually just keep going until he came and then we would stop and he would pull out then we would just lie there cuddling. never anything else. when i couldn't have sex i would give him a handy and tease him until he came but that was it. nothing else :( can you give me some ideas so next time im with a guy its more exciting. i need help!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Maybe you're TOO relaxed- maybe not enough friction here?
But anyways. Most women don't orgasm from actual penetration, they just like the way it feels. Most only orgasm from foreplay.. Which it looks like that may be your boat. Try involving a little more lovin for your clit.
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A
female
reader, Morrissey-fan  +, writes (23 August 2010):
Maybe you should try kegel excersises and it sounds like the guy really hasn't got a clue what he's doing!!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (23 August 2010):
Hi there. The fact you don't seem to feel much pleasure during sex just indicates not enough stimulation.
Probably due to poor technique and inexperience combined.
Also, the type of relationship you have with the guy will affect how you feel in the bedroom. If you are a bit tired and stressed out after a hard day, it will also affect the sex you have.
There's a possibility that you are not as physically attracted to the guy as you thought you were. It's not only physical but a lot of it is also mental.
It's definitely a mind/body connection.
Maybe when you're with a guy, you are partly distracted and therefore don't fully tune into the subtle feelings you have and so they come and go fading away altogether.
The feelings when making love are very subtle at first, but with proper and continuous stimulation over time, those feelings will build to a more fuller, intense feeling and ultimately into orgasm.
You might be focussing on having an orgasm and trying to rush things and becoming anxious. If you are thinking ahead to orgasm, you will miss all those lovely sensations that are a natural part of lovemaking. It really has to be lived totally in the present moment.
Just take your time and don't rush things. There's no need.
Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, wisernow  +, writes (23 August 2010):
Perhaps you should hold off on the penetration and focus on the foreplay...on what arouses you..sweet words and kissing... touching..A caring partner will do these things before entering his partner.. ... Does he caress and stimulate your clitoris with his fingers and tongue?
If looking into his eyes as he licks your clitoris does not give you pleasure then you may be with the wrong guy.
But if it does then relax and enjoy ... and tell him what feels wonderful.....
And don't worry about his pleasure. It will come and more easily than yours. Make him wait until you are satisfied and/or totally ready to accept his erection....
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