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Why does my BF have my name listed as "Christopher" on his phone? Could he be cheating on me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 September 2011) 17 Answers - (Newest, 7 September 2011)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I just discovered that my boyfriend has me listed in his phone by a male name - Christopher, when clearly that is not my name. My name doesn't even start with the letter C. This is sooooooo very strange, and I was not happy about this. I asked him why was my name listed as Christopher, but he never gave me an answer! He doesn't even have the picture I sent him for my caller ID picture, he has one of a cartoon character. I feel as though he is doing this to hide me from someone. Could he be cheating on me? I'm about ready to end it with him right now! I know he will say I am making a big deal out of nothing - yes I am making a big deal out of it, because it's disrespectful.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011):

My married girlfriend has me listed as the name of the company she works for, so it's safe to assume that your boyfriend having you listed under a name other than your own doesn't really pass the smell test. He's hiding something from you.......

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011):

Atleast your aware of whats going on,my ex boyfriend never let me near his phone always on silent locked,hidden or switched off now thats red flags

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 September 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyep, he's hiding something....

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A male reader, eek United Kingdom +, writes (6 September 2011):

eek agony aunti noticed my ex had done this a while before i found out she was cheating. Dont trust anyone who does this.

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A female reader, auntyR United Kingdom +, writes (6 September 2011):

he clearly is hiding you from another person. He may have another girlfriend or even a wife for all you know. Becareful and just ask him to be honest.Ask him why you are down as Christopher and if he tries to change the subject ask him again.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (6 September 2011):

chigirl agony auntHe's hiding you from someone that's for sure. Whether there is another woman or not, this is surely deceitful behaviour.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011):

He is probably married, maybe even has a family.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your wonderful responses. I am not even going to bother asking him again, just as several of you stated he is just buying time to think of an answer. He can't use the excuse "oh I didn't hear you" because I looked him dead in his face when as asked him. Just so you know I've been his girl for last 4 years!!! So now I know that I'm not the only one!! Thanks again :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your wonderful responses. I am not even going to bother asking him again, just as several of you stated he is just buying time to think of an answer. He can't use the excuse "oh I didn't hear you" because I looked him dead in his face when as asked him. Just so you know I've been his girl for last 4 years!!! So now I know that I'm not the only one!! Thanks again :)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 September 2011):

Honeypie agony auntAsk him.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (6 September 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt Yes he is cheating. At least, I can't think of any other reason for having to list you under a male alias.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011):

Hi, its as the others say. You are the other woman. Hes hiding you from his long term gf. This a big deal, hes playing you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011):

Hi. It sounds very much as if he is using the tried and tested method of keeping your identity private and 'non threatening' to a third party by pretending you are male. I have had this name thing done to me once in the past. My ex partner was still having contact with his ex and using a male name for her in his phone book so i would not suspect anything when the name came up on his phone. If your partner is using this ploy to hide you. It begs the question, how many other 'men' in his phone book are really women?

What he is doing is a big red flag. It IS a big deal for all manner of reasons, especially if you are in an intimate relationship with him! So don't be bamboozled by him into thinking you are being a fusspot and it all means nothing. Because something is going on!

By ignoring you when you asked him about it, he has gained time to think and come up with a plausible explanation. So asking him again now, might not shed much light on his real agenda. If his choice to give you a mans name in his phone book had some strange but innocent explanation, he would have told you straightaway when you asked. The fact that he chose to ignore you is very telling. He was definitely buying time! When you ask him again, i would take his explanation with a big pinch of salt and rely more on your instincts than on anything this person tells you.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (6 September 2011):

angelDlite agony auntand i agree with the previous anon poster. you are the other woman, she is the primary one

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011):

I just asked my 37 year old fiancé and his brother. My brother in law says, " No he isn't cheating on you, you are the OTHER woman". My fiancé agrees.

Hun, leave this guy immediately. Find a way to tell his gf/wife about his cheating.

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A male reader, CASA DE FIGUEROA United States +, writes (6 September 2011):

He is cheating on you. He has another girl who is problaby jealous and dosent want her to know. Simple as that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011):

Yes he's obviously doing this because he wants to hide you from someone. That can only mean one thing, that he's seeing another woman. the fact that he didn't give you an answer when you asked, proves that he's got something to hide.

I don't think you need any further evidence. You know what's going on.

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