A
male
age
,
*ildman
writes:Why do women like to tease men about sex? Why not just be open to their needs instead of making it such a big deal!!! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Lotusmama, I agree with you completely. However, from your second post, I got the impression that you were omly talking about teasing your husband when you wanted sex. The discussion was more about teasing like flirting with a guy at a bar to get him excited and then getting joy out of letting him down. I forgot about your first post.
I still think that most women are not inconsiderate teases. My wife told me once about a time that she did that for the first time. She built a guy up and had no interest in him, then she felt really bad about it. She never did it again. She didn't do it intentionally though. She thought it was just harmless flirting, but he thought that she liked him. Perhaps some women are like that and never realize what they have done. Of course, I imagine there are others who want to be mean to boost their egos.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 June 2008):
Its called flirting, and enjoying the thrill of the chase / being chased.
If we all went round saying "you are attractive, would you enter into sexual relations with me on a one night / ongoing basis?" then we would be robots.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (21 June 2008):
 Nah, I'm talking about the same kind of tease, but seperating myself from the ladies who don't give a rats behind about the consiquences. I understand, therefore, tease ONLY when I want reaction. Many ladies don't. They like to tease and walk away saying to themselves "Oh yeah, he would jump my bones". I guess it's amusing to them or something, boosts their ego. Then it's off to the other poor sap for another shot of ego. Funny "hmmm", not funny "ha-ha".
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 June 2008):
 You're right, Troubled. Maybe no man has ever teased a woman for sex.
Paradise, maybe you've got yourself a man who has a commitment.
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (21 June 2008):
 Power. Its that simple. If a woman wants sex she is likely to get it, if a bloke wants it, who stops him. The woman.
So if you are referring to a specific woman in your life who is playing mind games then make her want you as much as you want her. We need a little romance and a lot of loving and throw in a heap of patience. Just when you think you have worked out what we want we change the goal posts. Dont ever try to understand us as we dont know what we want either, well some of us dont.
Be in a one to one relationship and have give and take and everything will be ok in that department. If its casual sex then who knows what will happen each day is different. We need more info on who or what you are referring to in order to be more specific or in my case more sensible! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): "This advice, by the way, would be useful for women as well. Or wouldn't it?"
No, I doubt that would be useful for women. Who ever saw a guy who would tease and not want sex. Are you kidding me. We're guys. LOL
I agree. Lotusmama is talking about a different kind of teasing.
"Or, as he said himself, that perhaps never REALIZED he was being teased." Damn Daniel, now you got me depressed. What have I missed out on. She was hot, too. Whine. ;)
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female
reader, paradise +, writes (21 June 2008):
 What a loaded question this is for me right now!! I tell it like it is, thanks to some good advice I got from this DearCupid. What's teasing about telling a guy "I want to have wild and passionate sex with you"? Can we get any more direct and to the point than that? Soooo.....why am I still waiting for his answer? I thought that it was the MAN who should be kept waiting by the woman - not the other way around!! What's going on, guys??
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (21 June 2008):
Oh, How I Like Lotusmama. She's telling it like it is. Wonderful: "I tease, and I undestand the consequences". A fine woman she is. The bad thing is, we're not talking about the kind of teasing she does. She does it as a "non-verbal" way to hint she's in the mood. We're talking about people who ARE NOT in the mood, but tease anyways, "because it's fun". Fun, of course, for the one who is teasing, not for the one being teased.
I also like what Scrazy said: some people, men and women, are teases. That's so right.
I'm not sad that Troubled got lucky. I just wanted to point out, exactly, that fact: that he's the rare person who has never been teased. Or, as he said himself, that perhaps never REALIZED he was being teased. That's a different thing. And the fact that good Troubled never made a mistake in the unsafe side doesn't change anything: some women (and men, of course) do TEASE others, because "it's fun".
I also notice that women continue to speak their minds about this teasing thing. Other than Troubled and I, no man has spoken. So, we continue to get primarily the point of view of women.
And I stand by my advice to the poster. You can't change the world. Change the way you react to teasing. If you think somebody is teasing you, stop the person (man or woman) right there. This advice, by the way, would be useful for women as well. Or wouldn't it?
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female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (21 June 2008):
 The reason SOME women tease? (Don't generalize)
Simple: because it's fun. These women, more then likely, don't want you at all, they're just taking joy in knowing that they can get you any way they want you - but then simply pull away, not affected in the least.
But maybe, you're taking a woman's come on as teasing? Not every woman knows how to come out and just say "Can we have sex now?"
Obviously, you need to find someone who's VERY open about what she wants.
Hope this helped.
xo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): Perhaps I have errored on the side of caution thinking that some women were just looking for some attention. Perhaps I missed out on some good sex by thinking that some woman who I knew was just being friendly and looking for friendly attention. However, I would rather error and miss out on sex than make a move on a woman who I know and make a fool of myself or lose a friend.
Yes, sometimes I have wondered after I was no longer in contact with her if she wanted more than I thought, but I have never been sorry that I might have missed out on something. I could always be proud that I never insulted a friend by trying to get sex from her.
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female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (20 June 2008):
Of course I tease! But I also understand the consiquences. If I shake my booty in my sweeties face, he will attack it. I think teasing is more sexy than saying "Honey, I think I'm ready for some intercourse now", lol. Hey, maybe THATS why we tease. It just seems more sexy! If animals can do it, so can we!
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female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (20 June 2008):
 OH HE IS LUCKY!!!!!WOOF WOOF GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): And men never tease women? Men never flirt with women they've no real interest in only to stoke their own fragile little egos and brag to their buddies about what studs they are? Men never say "I'll call you" to women they have no intention of ever contacting again? Please. Enough with this "women are the problem" kind of BS. Some /people/ are just jerks, male and female. Grow up and deal.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 June 2008):
Troubled, you have been lucky.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): I don't remember any woman ever teasing me about sex. Any woman who ever acted like she wanted sex with me, actually did. I have never been teased and then rejected. That goes for the first time with them or any subsequent time with that women. If they didn't want sex, it was obvious to me. Perhaps you are misreading what they want. There is a difference between friendly flirting to feel attractive and real flirting to get into bed with you. A lot of women friends have touched me and said some slightly sexy things to me, but it was obvious that they were just harmlessly flirting and not after sex. People of both sexes do that to feel attractive and make their friends feel attractive. You have to recognize that from the signs that she wants to climb into bed with you.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 June 2008):
Well, I have seen the point of view of three women. They all have said that they don't tease, and I believe them. Do we listen to what the MEN say? At some point of their lives, most men (if not all) have come to think that we just DON'T understand what women want, and that women simply CAN'T tell things in a way that's easy to understand. I appreciate you all, ladies but, have you taken the time to check how many times a guy comes to Dear Cupid complaining about basically the same thing the poster is saying here? I bet that most of the times, the reason why a guy comes here is precisely that one. And, unless you believe that something is wrong with ALL men, then there must be at least an element of truth in what the poster is saying.
I know there are many women who are not teases. I also know, FOR A FACT, that many others are, and they know it. Of course, every woman will automatically say they belong to the category of the "non-teasing" ones. And every man complaining about a woman being a tease will be sent to the "Bastard" category.
Now, poster, the quick answer is: we don't know why some women like to tease us, and why they won't speak their minds in a clear manner. But we can't change that. We need to live with it. What you can change, however, is how you respond when someone seems to be teasing you. I guess the rule is simple: if it looks like teasing, don't rationalize it: just let go of her. The women who are sure of themselves and mean what they say or do won't complain; they will make clear what they want.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (20 June 2008):
Hi Hunny
I suppose alot of women do tease and when I say tease Im meaning with maybe what we may wear and being nice can come across as teasing sweetheart, And you do get the girls that just want a drink out of a guy so will tease to get as much as she can then fook off..If a woman wants sex and she were to go out say on the pull she would be known as a slut, Where as if a man goes out on the pull and gets what he wants then its big whoooooooo!! hoooo's! n slaps on the back so maybe there is that to think about as well...Women do like sex very much (well there is only me here right now but I have g/fs so I no the truth) Women generally dont have a hard time pulling a guy but guys do tend to have a hard time getting the woman thats were the teasing bit comes into it love, If it were an equal world out there and women were not called so many different names for enjoying what only comes naturally then it may be very different all together. I personally love sex its one of my favorite pastimes, Apart from having a partner so I wont be teasing anyone if I didnt have a partner and wanted sex how would I go about that without looking cheap, So hunny there is that fine line of teasing and being open to our needs and being called a bloody great slut for being that way :) HARD ONE EH MATE!!!GOOD QUESTION TAKE CARE LUUUUUVVVVVV MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (20 June 2008):
 Who does?
Don't generalise.
I don't. When I want a shag I want a shag. (Does the word "shag" work in American English?)
Tease? Never. Torment and frustrate, sure, when I'm feeling particularly wicked and not particularly randy myself. That's different.
If some women prefer to be coy about their needs, then that's their prerogative. If you think it's ALL women who are like that, then you just haven't met the right women yet. Good grief man, what are you waiting for? You're as old as me (or older). Get out there and find one.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (20 June 2008):
I dont know what kind of ladies you're dealing with, but most of the females I know are open about everything. If you are going to generalize, then I will say that most men don't pick up on ladies being open, so they resort to a different means of communication. Men are pretty simple about things. They get turned on by pretty girls, think about sex often, and have a difficult time understanding the female mind. So, females, (picking up on this simplicity) try to level with men, instead of just being open, like we often tend to be. Also, females need the constant approval about how how they look, how they are in bed, etc. However, they dont want to get that approval by asking, or through word, they want it through action and affection. Hence the game playing. Why do you ask? Whats going on with you? lol:-)
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