A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 17 weeks pregnant with my firt baby and me and my partner are over the moon ablout it, the only thing is i dont want to make love any more,its not that i dont love my partner because i do very much, but were starting to have really big arguments about it because he wants it and i just cant. im at my wits end now i dont know what else to do i dont want us to split over this please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): There are times when I don't feel like doing anything, but I believe it is important to take into consideration your partners feelings as much as you expect him to understand your feelings. You may not feel up to it, but it wouldn't hurt to make love anyway. Keep in mind that fact that he may be feeling a bit left out at the moment. Reassure him by loving him not pushing him away.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): I just don't understand people these days.
I'm sorry if I sound like a bit of an asshole to you (mostly to your BF). But somebody has to point out the obvious.
Once upon a time, if people thought they were ready to have kids, they signed a stupid cheap little piece of paper to get married first. And they accepted that there might be little annoyances like preganacies limiting sex lives for a few months.
What is going through people's heads now? Do they not know how long kids live or something?
How can this guy think he was ready to have kids but now he's already wrecking the relationship just because he's lost his sex life for a few months now that you're getting farther along?
What the F did he THINK was gonna happen to his sex life when his girl got pregnant, anyway? Hasn't he ever seen a pregnant woman in his life before now? Did he think you and your body were gonna be in exactly the same shape as before right up until the day you gave birth? Did he think this baby was just gonna be dropped off in a little white towel by a friggin' stork after 9 months or something?
I'm sorry to be so harsh but there are kids being brought into the world here. Your man needs to grow the hell up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): A woman's sex drive can vary in pregancy; fluctuating up and down; often women experience a loss of libido during the first or third trimesters;
Some women are scared the sex will crush the baby; this is not possible; the baby is safe in the amniotic sac and surrounded by amniotic fluid, which cushions it from any kind of bumping or bruising;
I suggest you lovingly explain to your partner how you feel; please do give him lots of affection and attention; do not let him feel ignored or that is not needed or wanted around you; you make him feel rejected;
Good communication; lots of love and attention and soon you might find you feel like sex again.
Hang in there; give him lots of LOVE.
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A
female
reader, momakitty  +, writes (21 June 2008):
Its normal girl your sexdrive will be like a roller coaster.try getting some lit on the subject.present it to him men like to knock you up but hate dealing with the back lash.let him know you are a hormonal wreck and you want him to love you when your cookies are wet or dry good luck
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A
female
reader, littlesuziepie +, writes (21 June 2008):
 Is it that your afraid to do it because there is a baby in there? Or you just don't want to do it?
If your afraid don't be. Nothing to worry about and your just 17 weeks prego and there are a lot more weeks to go. He will be dying or long gone before that baby comes. Plus you have to wait for a while after the baby is born to have sex again. I believe its just two weeks. Not sure. I only waited two weeks. But I love sex. Too much.
If you just aren't in the mood then give him oral or get good lube and give him an awesome hand job.
Just know your baby doesn't know what's going on...it can't feel anything except your body rocking and to a baby that's the best thing.
I wish you luck and please don't treat your self like glass you won't break I promise.
Don't deprive your man too long of one of the things that concemates the relationship. Its filled with love and that's what your family is all about.
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A
female
reader, Hannah1987 +, writes (20 June 2008):
Hi
I wouldnt take any crap off this bloke. You are pregnant with his child. He should be doin everything he can for you! Its understandable you dont feel in the mood! Just remind him you have a life growing inside you and you will feel different now due to hormones etc.... After all it is him that has got you in this position. If he does not understand, chuck him and concentrate on you and your baby. H x
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (20 June 2008):
 I found that the best way to communicate my hormonal feelings with my partner during pregnancy was to educate him. Let the books explain it. Some ladies lose their sex drive during pregnancy. This doesnt mean it's gone forever. I must tell you though, sex is good during pregnancy! It is a great way to practice kegals, with will help you to push baby out, it is a great form of exersize, which is good for heart rate, good for baby, and it is good for your perinial zone. When you come to the end of your pregnancy, it can help a late baby come sooner (which you will want, trust me). So if not to please your sweetie, do it for the baby! And it's the one time you dont have to worry about getting pregnant, lol. Just have to limit positions, never on your back. Missionary style, you on top or spooning are the best ways. Also, think about what your partner might resort to if there is no sex life with you. Guys need to release that seed, and once he does, he will be far more pleasant to be around. All that aside though, like I said before, some ladies just dont want it. Get the "what to expect when expecting" book, loads of education on this matter. Good luck, and CONGRADS!!!,
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): all i can say is the best thing to say to your othe rhalf is that your don't want to but you do love him and you don't want to loose him over this. you love him don't you? and he loves you so if he cares about you he will understand.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): Congratulations!
I can understand wh you don't want to make love during pregnancy and I think that your partner should respect your wishes and that during the pegnancy perhaps you should try different ways of keeping a good sex life.
For instance Oral sex, this is in no way invading the babys growing space and it will hopefully keep your partner happy.
Again Congratulations!
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A
female
reader, peace-and-love +, writes (20 June 2008):
He should respect that your body is changing hugely and that tbh why would you want to have sex while there's a CHILD growing in your womb? Yes, many women get horny during pregnancy but lots don't.
Just say that you don't want to have sex because your hormones mean you don't want to. He obviously doesn't realise how pregnancy is affecting you. If he cares about you and your unborn baby you have together he shouldn't be insisting on it.
A possible alternative - maybe you could buy him a sex toy or give him a blowjob or handjob to satisfy him if he says he really needs it.
Good luck :) xxx
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