A
male
age
,
*Xlover
writes:To make a long story short, years ago I had an affair with a woman I fell passionately in love with, and it lasted over 5 years. My wife found out about the affair, and of course the usual problems were a part of this situation, however I did not stop seeing the other woman.During the relationship my wife suddenly died. I felt so much guilt that it had an impact on my feelings and emotions with the woman I loved. She then went on to take care of her ex husband and the years passed. I met another woman with whom I fell in love with and that relationship ended because I caught her cheating and I could not trust her.This past year I have found out that I am ill. I am not dying but the illness is a challenge. I finally got up enough courage to call the woman I first loved and when we met (first time in years) I felt the instant love for her again. We are both in our mid 60's, but she is still very beautiful, loving and caring. I am confused as to what to do.Should I pursue her again?Will she think I am only coming back because I am ill?She indicated that she felt I may still have feeling for the woman that cheated on me, but that has been over with for over two years.I know I did wrong and maybe I am paying for what I did. With the exception of my cheating I am a decent man, who loved my wife and provided a very good life for her. Also my son knew about this woman, and although it has been years ago he may have problems accepting her. All of our children are grown and in their 30's.So far I am taking it slow, but what should I do now?Any advice would be appreciated, and I am deeply thankful.
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affair, cheated on me, fell in love, her ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, 1Xlover +, writes (3 January 2011):
1Xlover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDenise32,
Thank you for your response.
I have though over and over on this and can only conclude from her (seeminly) interest in my illness that she still cares for me. I am not going to assume anything, but her compassion, warmth, and caring attitude (not only towards me but to everyone) makes her that much more desirable to me. I have always cherished her, and still do.
Thanks again, and I am taking it one day at a time, and will do as you suggested.
Take care!
A
male
reader, 1Xlover +, writes (3 January 2011):
1Xlover is verified as being by the original poster of the question
@ anonymous,
Sorry, but I do not have blood on my hands, and my wife passed away from a long time illness she had for a long time. It was unexpected, but that is what she passed from, not a broken heart, although I am not trying to min her pain. You need to know that I had asked my wife for a divorce (several times)way before I had ever met the other woman, but due to my profession (public)and her wanting to hold on, we dragged it on for years.
Although I do not agree with your response, I certainly respect your right to express yourself and thank you for responding~
Take care!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): I am assuming your wife died if a broken heart. That is very sad to know that you were somewhat responsible for her early death. This can weigh very heavily on a person.
You left this other woman, bec she cheated on you and now you want to go back to the woman whom you cheated with when your wife was alive, which resulted in her early death. To me (and I think you will agree) there seems to be blood on your hands.
Sometimes there is a reason we move on and I think if you get back with your affair lady it just makes your wifes passing even more worse.
Just think about it: in our family we have a simple saying, ' not having blood in your veins'.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (2 January 2011):
 I think if you want to take up with the lady once more, you should. Does your health allow you to go out on dates with her, or are your activities quite restricted?
Just let her know you like her and want to see more of her. Hopefully, she'll feel the same way, and NOT just because of your illness!
Go for it good luck!
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