A
female
age
30-35,
*ikari_mibu
writes:I'm an almost 18 year old virgin, and I've heard other women say that they've regreted their first time and wish they had waited. I don't understand. Why did they regret it and what did they wish they had waited for? I've been a bit upset about whether I should wait for marriage or have sex outside of it, so maybe if I can understand what other women mean it would help me. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): It is best to wait for that "special person" as it is much more rewarding! When I was young I never went with ANY man as I was waiting for the right one! - Then when I turned 30 - I slept with the man I was with at the time who turned out to be very wrong for me - so even at that age I wish I hadn't rushed into it!!Be ware!!
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 Most male lost their 'virginity' during masturbation, which is also part of sexual activity. Virginity was hold as purity, and serious moral problem in the context of 'procreative sex'. Generally no male wish to be the father of another person, and this '
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A
female
reader, heather016  +, writes (25 February 2010):
i m a virgin. i used to think it was such a big deal to keep it until i finally realised that there isnt really much logic behind it. i've been thinking, why would i want to wait to lose it to the man i'll be marrying when most probably he's not going to be a virgin by the time we get married.
my current personal view is that it's okay to do it with someone you love and comfortable with and it doesnt matter if he's not going to be the one you'll be marrying. what's the point waiting, anyway. purity? really? what's purity, anyway? what's a one-time gift? nowadays people get married and get divorced. even if you were to lose it to your husband, chances are after you get a divorce, it doesnt matter anymore.
yes, but i dont agree with sleeping around. i just think that your first time shouldnt be a big deal. i wonder, if any guy would appreciate your virginity at this times, in this 21st century, really. please correct me, if i am wrong. maybe i have no acknowledgement about the possible fact that guys/men actually appreciate your virginity.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): For one thing you are playing with the powers of nature when you sleep with someone. Sex causes chemistry changes to the mind that help make you feel bonded to the person you did it with. This one happens to women but much less for men.
For another thing, do you like thinking about your ideal future man of your dreams, screwing another girlfriend right this very minute? Do you want to think about him comparing you to her, still thinking about what he liked about being with her, etc? Yeah, nobody else likes thinking about that either. This emotion is something that men deal with more than women. What a gift it is to be able spare your love from EVER having to think about that.
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A
male
reader, Wh1t3r4bb1t +, writes (24 February 2010):
 Simply because it one of the most special things you can do with the person you love. You would want it to be with 'the one'.. i certainly hold that viewpoint anyways x
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (24 February 2010):
 i regret my first time too. Because the boy was a c*** and i was simply too young and the boy i was with AT THE TIME broke up with me shortly after, after over a year together.If only i had waited a little longer, to find out his true colours would i have saved myself from regreting it everytime i see him. Just make sure you have it right, make sure your with each other long enough in a loving relationship, before you do anything many have regreted...
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Well, for me, I wished I would have waited because my first turned out to be a total scum-bag who would cheat on me four times behind my back. It disgusts me that I did that with someone I hate now. But I didn't know I'd hate him back then. If I would have waited, at least until I got out of high school, my first could have been someone who would be mature enough to treat me right and not stab me in the back.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): I'm one of those people who regrets it. Not really because the girl turned out to be a complete psycho, but because I was simply too young. If I had known then what I know now... Who am I kidding, I was way to horny. Sex complicates everything. Make sure you're comfortable with the person you choose. It will happen when it is meant to, no need to push it.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (23 February 2010):
 The reason for the regret is all the emotions that are involved with sexual activity. IT is not just an act and the more sexual partners you have the more dull you become to those emotions.
Please do not feel pressured. Usually the people who are doing the pressure are those who wish to be in good company to compensate for their poor decisions or those who are manipulators.
If you are dating a guy who is pressuring you to do something you feel funny about...get away.
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A
female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (23 February 2010):
 I would have to tell you to wait until your married. Your virginity, you as a pure woman who has saved herself for her husband is the most precious gift you can give him and he will treasure you and that gift forever. Marriage is a Holy union, it means more than just being ready for sex. An animal is ready for sex. We as women are ready for marriage, where we give the most precious gift we have, ourself and our purity, to the man we have saved ourselves for in marriage. Sex has been reduced to something you do when you like someone or want to hookup. It was never meant to be passed out like candy kisses on Valentines Day. It has been reduced to just a physical act and it is ment to be so much more than that. I hope you make the right decision. Women regret it because virginity is a one time gift. Once you give it away it's gone. Believe me it will matter when you marry.
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (23 February 2010):
I think some women regret it because the guy they lose it to disappoints them in some way; then later on they meet a guy who they feel they should have waited for rather than lost it to some random guy who doesn't even care. Having sex just to get rid of your virginity as if it were an illness is the wrong way to go about it. Its often worth it to wait for a guy who you love and he feels the same way.
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A
female
reader, hikari_mibu +, writes (23 February 2010):
hikari_mibu is verified as being by the original poster of the question To Sammi Star,
I guess I'm putting the pressure on myself, but since I've never had a boyfriend and don't have one now, it's kind of a no go situation. This is really just to help me make a few of those important choices. I'm happy with my toys at the moment :D
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 February 2010):
 Dosen't matter if you have sex outside marriage or wait for the ring. The most important thing is you love the guy and he loves you, and your relaxed and happy.
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A
male
reader, seany001 +, writes (23 February 2010):
 It depends. Are you religious because if you are then wait for marriage. If your not, then just play with yourself a lot, quite heavy. Use toys and do it as fast and heavy and rugged as you can. If it feels fine then go for sex. If it doesn't then carry on using toys until it feels ok. HOPE THIS HELPS!
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female
reader, TheXxHelloKitty +, writes (23 February 2010):
 Your decision is your decision but most women regret and want their virginity back because they thought the guy they were losing it too would be with them forever and they'd get married live the happy life. But in reality most guys do leave them. As I said above it is your decision wheter you wait or not. Good luck ! Lovee - Nicole .
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female
reader, sammi star +, writes (23 February 2010):
 It's entirely up to you wheather or not you wait to have sex until you're married.
I think a lot of women regret the way they lost their virginity once they start experiencing sex in a loving relationship. Losing your virginity should really be with someone you love and trust because it's a big enough deal as it is, being with someone you trust and care about makes it a much nicer experience, and of course, sex is always so much better when there's a real emotional connection between two people.
I hope you don't feel under pressure to lose your virginity just because you think it's what everyone around you is doing? More and more people are learning to respect themselves and wait for the right time and person and you should be proud of yourself for having that attitude.
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