A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why do people hate virgins so much? What did we ever do to be treated the way we are? It just isn't right.I never criticize my friends decision to have sex,so why cant they just respect my choices.It's not as if I'm some kind of saint constantly chastising there every move.Far from it,I mean I do just about every thing else guys my age do but this one thing has just haunted me everywhere I go.I have just always had the idea that people should love each other for who they are, not what they can give them.You should have sex with someone you love not love someone because they have sex with you.It really make me sad some times because I think I'm the only one that thinks this way anymore.I'm afraid that I will never find anybody that will accept me for who I am.Liston to me, I sound like a chick! I might as well go put on a dress XD. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): Maybe it's you hate yourself for being a virgin.I love, respect and admire your stand.It's the player that wants you to have sex.He is going to make you feel bad so you will give it up.I like the fact that someone else hasn't been there and left a present.No offense intended to those nonvirgins or those who have a disease.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): I'M A VIRGIN!and PROUD. : D.Don't bee sad!
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A
male
reader, SV  +, writes (9 December 2009):
Hi there i don't think anyone genuinely hates virgins. They just get teased for it by idiots. Most of the people who lose theirs early often end up regretting it and wishing that they'd have saved it for someone special. I agree with you buddy. Don't listen to anyone who teases you about it. Save it for someone special because you'll remember it for the rest of your life. Just ignore anyone who makes fun of it and hold your head up high.
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A
male
reader, Flashbacks +, writes (9 December 2009):
I think it has a lot to do with your own and others' expectations of what it is to be a "man." A "man" (as society may conceptualize it) sows his wild oats when he is young and beds down with a lot of young attractive women who fawn all over him and can't get enough. This is the image, not the reality. A "man" is able to brag about it to his boys (which I found a lot of times to be a bunch of BS), and the question invariably comes up "hey man, you ever gotten any?" So to be young, virile, "studlike", you have to fit the narrative of a guy who can have sex with whomever and whenever he pleases. Again, the reality is a lot different. If you value being selective about who you wish to have sex with, then you don't necessarily fit into that narrative. In my experience, just having sex for sex's sake is an empty and purely hedonic experience. I'm glad I was relatively selective in who I wanted to share that part of myself with. I didn't have my first sexual experience until I was 22, which is later than the norm, and I remember wondering what was wrong with me and why couldn't I attract girls like it seemed so many other young men my age could. On the other hand I just didn't go out of my way to "hook up" with any person I met in an inebriated state. It comes down to personal preference, and if you prefer to remain celibate until you find the right situation, more power to ya.
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A
female
reader, Katiekins86 +, writes (9 December 2009):
 There's nothing wrong with it and the less of a deal you make it the less people will poke (excuse the term) fun. I was the last of my friends to lose the old v plates - it was funny because aged 16-17 it was a talking point amongst my friends but after school/college I was suddenly envied and it wasn't a big deal, even though I was even older! The point is, whatever we do is wrong. If you slept around that would be wrong. If you lost it to some random person to get it over with that would be wrong. Just have some confidence in the choices you make. I lost mine to the person until recently I was supposed to marry. He turned out to be a dick. Annoyed that I did? Not at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): they will be haters in every aspect of somones life!dont let dis disturb you,if remainin a virgin is wat u want stick to it...sex has lots of problems,like veneral diseases etc
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A
female
reader, Farm Girl +, writes (9 December 2009):
 No need to go put on a dress. I married a man who says the sort of things that you do. He's not feminine in any way, just a real sweetheart!
Though neither of us were virgins when we came together. I wish that I would have been. It's truly amazing how much difference LOVE makes in sex. On the other, I'm glad that I know the difference.
Don't worry about what others say. You are special for doing what you've done. One day, you'll look back and see that.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 December 2009):
 BimBim is exactly right, do you walk around with a badge that proclaims "VIRGIN"? How else does anyone know whether someone is a virgin unless they blab about it? And really who even cares? Nobody hates virgins because everyone has been one at some point.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): I actually don't know anyone who makes fun of virgins.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (9 December 2009):
 I don't know about your circle of friends or even your community, but on this site, there is nothing but love for virgins, congratulations for saving yourself, and support for mature decisions like waiting.
Here, people from the U.S. and Canada, or England, or India, or Nepal, etc, all seem to agree that there is NOTHING wrong with waiting, whether for that special someone or for marriage or just until you're ready.
I'm 25, male, and a virgin. I've been engaged to a woman but still refused sex pre-maritally. I'm sorry you're getting grief for it, but honestly that's far from universal. I think it says more about the people you're around than it does about you.
And don't worry about Aunty BimBim. This is a valid concern and you're welcome to ask it here. I've heard a heck of a lot worse. You're among friends on this site.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): I would just like to say that the person you fall in love with is a very lucky girl!!! I really respect your attitude towards sex because many people see sex as a cheap thrill especially at your age. You want it to be special for you and your partner then by all means you have a right to wait till you find the one you want to do it with. People always find something to hate about. If they want to hate...then let them! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Be proud of yourself, you are not following the flock
I would say you have the makings of a good man.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 December 2009):
If you are the first in your year to do something then you are crazy. If you are the last in your year to do something then you are old fashioned.
In school it's all about being right bang in the middle so no one picks on you.
Your friends pick on you because it means no one picks on them for all the stupid stuff they do.
There are lots of people who save themselves for the right person. So stay proud.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (9 December 2009):
I don't believe anyone hates virgins, I think you're being a bit dramatic. I think guys may be a little harder on one another about the matter, but they don't hate you, they're just giving you a hard time. The more you show you care or that it bothers you, the harder the time they will give you. If you're okay with being a virgin, then others will be okay with it too.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 why do you need to even tell people you are a virgin? Why do people who are not virgins even feel the need to tell people they aren't. Why do girls who claim to be bi sexual come onto this site and broadcast the news to all and sundry, how come people's sexual leanings, preferences, experience etc etc is even up for discussion.
OI! A little discretion puleeez people. I dont care about your sex life or lack thereof!!
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A
female
reader, Sparklegirl +, writes (9 December 2009):
Hey bud! Don't be so down!!!! I know a lot of people who want to wait to have sex with someone they love!!! You are not alone! It might take some extra searching but that just makes it more special!!!!
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