A
female
age
26-29,
*olleyball6
writes:Why do parents get so crazy about sexual stuff with us teens? If we are protected then let us learn and realize the real world of a relationship. I think if the parent lets the kids do stuff it gives the kid responsibilty and helps them realize what they want and don't want! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ctds001  +, writes (17 June 2010):
They get crazy about sex because they invest a huge amount of love, emotions, finances and time to raise you. And one horny moment can ruin all your dreams for the future.
Good luck and prove your parents wrong like I did :o)
Make them proud!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): With all due respect, the fact that you are even asking this question signals that you aren't ready to deal with a lot of things about sex.
Anyone who fully comprehends the permanent nature of sex's risks would not think "learn as you go" is a very good way to get the hang of it. The normal understandable mistakes you make learning about sex are the ones that can ruin your life.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 Parents are scared you will get pregnant or taken advantage of because young people are usually very naive.
But I agree, overprotection works against it's cause.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 Parents get crazy because they have plenty of reasons to get crazy.
One is teen pregnancy. In theory there is protection, in practice many teenagers are too lazy or irresponsible or clueless to use it correctly and consistently, so unplanned pregnancies are far from uncommmon.
Another is STDs, there is plenty of nasty stuff around that you can catch without even having intercourse- just from oral or even skin-to-skin contact. Ask any dermatologist or virologist,and see what he says.
Then there often is the aftermath of sex. A 14 or 15 years old girl may be physically ready for sex but she is not emotionally ready and she has not even remotely acquired the coping skills necessary to handle the world of adult relationships. Just have a look here on DearCupid and see the dozens of posts that go more or less like this : I am 14, I gave him my virginity, after 3 days he dumped me, I wanna die, I am in deep depression, my self esteeem is shot.
Then , if you want, there is - let's call it the feminist issue. Not all girls ,but really many many many, don't start having sex to gratify their own desires and fulfill their own needs,but somebody's else. They submit themselves to sex rather than craving it . In order to keep a boy faithful to them, or to feel equal to their girlfriends, or to get more affection and attention from men that without sex would be tepid or cold.
In other words, they train themselves to please, to be compliant and to use their body for getting something in return .It's a good training if you plan to be a hooker, but if I were the mother of a young girl I would want her to grow to be her own person, with integrity and self confidence.
You sort of have a point when you say that if you never start you never learn. Like, if you never put your hands around a car wheel you never learn to drive. But it is a matter of age, and what is age appropriate. It's not wise to let a todddler experiment with driving cars, and it's not wise to let young teenagers experiment with having sex.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (16 June 2010):
 Parents get crazy because teens AREN'T being responsible.
If teens were having responsible sex, the U.S. teen pregnancy rate wouldn't be the highest it's been in a decade.
If teens were responsible, one quarter of all new HIV cases wouldn't be occurring in people under the age of 21.
Teens are a ball of raging hormones, so its natural to want sex. The problem is, half of y'all don't know your asses from a hole in the ground. You know you have the parts, but you really don't have a clue what to do with them and your perception of sex is skewed by television, music and film. Boys watch porn and think they're supposed to just hammer away. Girls think they're supposed to do all kinds of freaky stuff and wriggle and moan when you have no clue what makes a woman wriggle and moan during sex. Nearly every day there's a post on this site by a teen that thinks they know everything, but asks if they can get pregnant if they use the pull-out method or if a guy has semen on his pants. Nearly every day there's a teenage girl asking for advice on how to tell her parents she's pregnant, or a guy trying to figure out what that strange bump on his penis is.
This is why parents freak out.
Because as a teen, you really are not equipped to deal with the consequences of sex. Most of you don't even clean your bedrooms or take out the trash when you're supposed to; if you can't be responsible with little things, how you can claim you're responsible enough for sex?
Finally, "the real world of a relationship" as you put it is about more than sex. If you don't believe me, look at some of the posts adults post about problems in their relationships. Infidelity. Loss of intimacy. Financial problems. Health Issues. Relationships are complicated enough for adults; why would a teen want to take on these kinds of problems?
I challenge you to take Tisha's maturity test.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 June 2010):
 Because there are repercussions and consequences to sex that you don't fully appreciate or realize. It's one of those things that you'll understand when your teenager starts having sex herself, I think.
When you start feeling frustrated with your parents, stop, and remember that they were teenagers once too. They didn't go from birth to being married parents without ever once being a teenager.
Your mom and dad were both 13, then 14, then 15, then 16, then 17, then 18... and each year, they pretty much faced the same things you do now. Okay, without the internet. Or cell phones. Or texting. But otherwise, they know more than you realize.
When your mom looks at you, she's seeing WAY more than you realize. She was your age once, and remembers lots more than you might realize.
I'll give you a test of maturity. Try to write a question from your mother's perspective, asking a question about how to deal with her teenaged daughter. Don't submit it as a new one, but as a follow up to this one.
My bet is you can't do it. None of the teenagers who've asked questions like this one you've asked have ever been able to do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): Because parents remember all the stupid mistakes they made when they first started experimenting.
They remember they and their friends getting STD's, pregnant, used by people, etc. etc. all when they thought they were ready for responsibility but now they're old enough to know they weren't just like you will when you grow older.
We adults remember what it's like to be a teenager and we too thought we knew it all, thought we had it all figured out when we were that age and yes we too thought it was unfair and that we should be given more freedon etc. but just like us you'll grow older and do your best to try and protect your kids from making the same mistakes you did.
It's how the world works. You'll get used to it.
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A
female
reader, Sara456 +, writes (16 June 2010):
They get crazy about it because if you screw up and get pregnant, you are not the one who will be raising that baby. Your mama and daddy will be doing all the work...and they will be the ones paying for all of it because you are way too young to get a decent paying job to help support a baby. That's why.
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