A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for over 2 months but still saw each other every weekend and talked lots during the day by txt, phone, facebook and were really close and happy. He treated me like a princess and I treated him really good 2. We never had arguments or anything. I was meant to go and stay with him for easter and had my bags packed and were txting each other about how excited we were and planned things to do for the weekend. Then I went to sleep and got woken up by him ringing me at 4:30am....Im pretty sure he was drunk. He sounded real serious and I asked what was wrong...totally not expecting what I was about to hear....he started crying and said he cant do it anymore. He tried for as long as he could but its too hard. He sed he cant handle doing long distance cause he misses me to much and said hes got 2 much going on in his life atm and needs to work on himself and he cant when hes worrying about me and us all the time along with everything else....I had no idea he was worrying about us...I thought we both trusted each other and had a secure relationship. He told me he trusted me. I told him that I would be there for him through everything and support him but he said he just cant do it anymore. I hung up on him because I didnt want to cry on the phone and he txt me and said so is that how it ends? I deleted our relationship status on facebook straight away because I felt so hurt and didnt want to have to see his face all the time and he txt me and said..funny that the first thing you do is change facebook. Ok I tried.....I dont understand what he meant by that. Then he txt me and said im so so sorry and I never meant for this to happen. Im not going to explain myself anymore and upset you. I know things will work out for you. Goodbye.....and I havent heard from him since. Its been 4 days since it happened and im still shocked and confused...He does have things stressing him atm like work and family problems but I dont believe thats the real reason. Hes been on antidepressants for 10 years and gets wound up easily but I still dont understand why he ended it. I feel like I havent got any closure and it hurts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for everyones good advice. I am moving on and I feel stronger already. :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 It’s best to let him go sweetie…
I did a LDR for a year before we moved together… we saw each other every weekend and we talked and texted and emailed all day during the week…
I know you are hurt and feel blindsided but you probably are best to let it go… accept that there will not be any formalized closure from him….
LDRs are hard. And I do not think they are for the young… truly…. I also do not think that those folks that MEET online have much of a shot….
I like very much what CindyCares said (when do I not???)
He wanted out. His depression may be acting up
He could be caring more than he wants to
He could be scared about how he feels… or that you will leave him if he has a depressive episode…
ANY way you look at it…. He wanted out for his own selfish reasons and you had no clue it was coming and you feel blindsided.
Deep breath… you have my permission to
Cry
Rant
Rave
Eat ice cream straight out of the container
Write long obsessive letters to me or him or anyone else you wish WRITE WRITE WRITE.. then SEAL it in an envelope and put it away in a seldom used drawer… when you find it in a few years… read it then…
Put it away again
Find it later… read it again
About the 4th time this happens you will be ready to throw the letter out and will have moved on a long time before that… Trust me I’ve BTDT………
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A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 Antidepressants and alcohol are a bad mix. It seems like this guy has some tough matters to sort out on his own. With everything else going on in his life, a long distance relationship was perhaps just a little too much for him. He thought he could simplify things for himself by changing the one thing he felt he had control over... your relationship.
I'm sorry you have that dreadful feeling of not having any closure. My only suggestion is to take things slowly, realise this relationship is finished and look to the future.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 I don't believe all the jazz about him missing you so much that he had to let you go. Love isn't complicated, its not rocket science. If you love someone, you cannot imagine a life without them, you are everything for your partner and vice versa.
Your relationship had a different meaning for both of you. You were blissfully happy and you saw no wrong in it, while he on the other hand wasn't happy and wanted a way out. The things that made you happy didn't work for him. It's as simple as that. If they did, he would never have opted out leaving you like he did.
Don't expect any closure from him; its entirely up to you to accept the break up and move on. Accept that sometimes things don't work out. Its unfair, but that's how it is. There will be a stage where you will feel no more pain, instead you will look back upon the relationship with a smile and once in a while a happy memory will cross your mind. That is when you know you have moved on. Impossible as it sounds now, you will move on. And remember, whatever happens is for the best.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (10 April 2012):
 It only lasted 2 months- and long distance too. Let it go and move on, now the wound is fresh and moving on seems so difficult, but it's not.
The guy seems to have his own issues, but ,even if he hadn't, what happened I think it's pretty common with these internet relationships. People love them, until they become real. It's nice, and conforting, and reassuring to know you have somewhere someone who likes you, cares about you, helps you spend time , takes an interest about your stuff- until it's low maintenance and it does not interfere with your real life. IRL, you have to see them and deal with them, and get along with them, and entertain them, and make them like you and not be disappointed. Ther has to be physical chemistry, you have to make plans with them, and reserve time and attentions for them- the regular MAINTENANCE of a relationship. Some people can't handle that, they are too lazy or insecure or selfish to admit a real person in their life , they enjoy the fantasy, the game...but when it's time to do it for real, it just seems too much work and not worth their effort.
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