A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, me and my partner have been together for 2 and a half years now and although weve had our ups and downs we get on brilliantly. there was a time when he hit me but i know he has always regretted this, neither of us are perfect, ive made mistakes too. But the main issue is that throughout the relationship he has sometimes left me and come back on and off. he says he has always loved me but did not know whether a relationship is right for him. i understand this but i dont want to go back and forth, i want stability. we love each other very much and he now says he's sure and ready but he's said this before and i dont know whether to leave and let him sort himself out or to stay and try again? i just want us both to be happy. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (10 April 2012):
 You want happiness for you both but it's obvious he's not happy. Why else would he be yo-yo-ing in and out of your life? Why do you let him do that? The first time he did that fine but this keeps on happening and you keep taking him backn and that tells him it's okay for him to check out whenever he feels like it. Doesn't sound like committed guy to me.If you want something to change, tell him if he leaves again that is the end. The only problem with that is you have to follow through otherwise you will always be the welcome doormat for him to wipe his feet on the next time he leaves and comes back.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012): How can you say you two get on brilliantly if he hits you and has walked in and out of your life without thinking of how it hurts YOU.
You will just continue with this pattern playing tennis with a relationship until you put a stop to it or he meets another girl and DOESNT come back. Then where will you be, left hurt and alone.
Stop being his doormat, before you reach 30 and are still stuck in this damaging pattern.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 You may need to just let him go... you can't dictate what someone else does, only what you do. Now his hitting you... NEVER make an excuse for a guy hitting you... there is NONE.
It seems he is not ready or he fears commitment. As you see, "I love you, but I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship." So what does he do? You said he leaves.... then what? He comes back.... and what do you do? Take him back... How many times has this happened? And it's always the same isn't it? So what's happening? Either intentionally or not intending to hurt you, you're being played. You take him back every time... you are giving him what he wants, but it goes against what you're looking for. He's the "I want my cake and eat it too" person. But you're allowing it, so therefore it continues in your life.
You are wanting him to give you what he's not willing to... and that, you cannot force upon him. I'd leave.
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