A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I discovered pornographic stories, written by my husband for other men and women, on his pc. He had asked for photographs of their wives (or them if they were female). This was the third time I had cause to wonder what he was doing on the pc. The previous times he was seemlingy chatting on a forum, same sort of thing...other people's wives etc..What is hard to understand for me is that this has been going on for years, before we even met and stems back to his previous marriage. He is seemingly such a shy person in reality I find it disturbing that he only uses graphic language in the stories, like that is is real self.We are not kids, are in our 40's and only been together 6 years.Why did he get married if this was what he wanted? He claims that because I was so distressed last time, when I found the stories, he won't do it again but he's said that the other times and it just escalated from there. I don't trust him now and feel very empty because before I discovered all that I thought he was so sweet and shy and that his reticence during sex was because of shyness. I guess he would have been better off with a pc and a platonic companion.Anyone else have a marriage like this?
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female
reader, willow73 +, writes (3 August 2007):
 I found my partner of 5yrs had been doing the same writing porn scripts & signing up to sex sites. I told him how i felt about the things i had found and the only reason he gave me was that he had been stupid. After a year i still don't trust him & i'm not sure i ever will again, still check his computer but then he did lie to me for 2yrs saying he wasn't doing this sort of thing anymore. I know that i need to trust the person i am with or the relationship won't work & with all the lies it's hard to trust him now. my partner was also the kindest most gentle man i had ever met before all this occurred & now i am not sure i know him at all. I guess all i can say is if you don't like what you found out about your husband & you are not able to forget/forgive then leave & save yourself anymore heartache, theres no guarantee that he won't lie to you again to cover his tracks. I would have left if i hadn't been pregnant at the time i found out. But saying that i don't think our daughter is enough to keep us together due to the way it has made me feel.
I hope you can find away round this problem.
If you want to talk some more email me.
willow73
A
female
reader, Unique1  +, writes (30 July 2007):
That is not okay at all... I would be out of the door already, i am surprise you have stayed and put up with that. It is form of cheating my dear. He really needs to stop that and i mean STOP. Not lie or find another pc to do it from. It is hard situation but he shouldn't be doing that and if he can't stop, thats too bad for him. You deserve better! It is hard and painful but it is the truth.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (30 July 2007):
 This would seriously p me off too to be honest.
I agree with eyes wide open.
C xxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 July 2007):
 Looking at porn is one thing but being actively involved with REAL people with pornographic overtones is crossing the line in my opinion. I'd tell him in no uncertain terms that this behavior is unacceptable to you and had you known about it before you got married you would have changed your mind. If he doesn't knock off this nonsense then you show him the door. Keep us posted.
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