A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex (father to my daughter) and I have cultivated a friendship or so I thought after fourteen years of separation. As consenting adults we were involved in consensual intercourse. However, he purposely came inside me knowing I can get pregnant. I am baffled at his actions. I just can't understand why he would do that. I am really angry and am in quite a predicament. No, I do not want to have anymore children. My questions remains Why?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): You have history so the need for that more personal experience is there for him. I hate my baby-mama and I'm paying for two kids but if she tried to seduce me she would get me in the sack, sure. And, as much as I hate her, I would cum deep inside of her even if I knew she was ovulating.
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (14 September 2009):
no guy I know likes having to pull out of a girl. when it is done it is just done out of necessity. either go on the pill or tell him to wrap his winkie. its up to you honey.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): Well, this situation is overall ridiculous. The errors on both your parts are much more than you're willing to admit. You said you tried to push him off and that you couldn't, and that he pushed deeper when he knew you didn't want him to. Did you tell him to pull out of you when you were "trying" to push him off? If so, then I suppose it sounds more like you're crying "rape" than anything else. You seem to have consented to everything, yet you were irresponsible to not take measures of your own to prevent an outcome that you KNEW was possible.Also, not to defend his actions, but it's not always easy for a guy to pull out mid-orgasm if he had already started, it's a moment when you're pretty much involved in thinking about only that when it happens. Depending on a guy to pull out is not reliable, but if he doesn't do it, that's not always going to be his fault either. It's a crappy method of birth control, so really if that's all you were counting on, you severely misjudged things.Anyway, get the Plan B pill if you can, and stop having sex with him if you feel that this was definitely intentional and that you can't trust him to follow your agreement, as well as if you can't be mature enough to make some good judgement calls yourself (obviously). I hope things work out for you in the end, but really - think next time. It helps.
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 He already answered you as to why. What I want to know is why you are having unprotected sex with any one you aren't committed to. Did you think you were the only one? Did you think that while he was off NOT getting to know his daughter, he was being chaste?This is what REALLY boggles my mind, though.... He is only NOW getting to know his daughter who is 15 years old and you thought it was healthy to begin a sexual relationship with this guy? Your daughter has a poor support system as she gets to know her father. Shame on you!I pray you don't get pregnant again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): It's not unheard of. Women sometimes puncture condoms or "forget" the pill and tell their men they are on it, and I guess men just refuse to pull out. These are people who are desperate for another child and since it's not granted, they force it.
You should discontinue sex with him. You cannot trust him and he has disrespected you so in order to assure him he can't get away with it, and to respect yourself, you have to stay away sexually.
~Sy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really thought we had an understanding and we both didn't want anything serious. In addition, I am not totally putting the blame on him but he carries a big load since he is the one who pushed in deeper and held me there. I know I have to deal with it and I will trust me but I just can not fathom his actions. I really thought we had an understanding. I guess my question remains why would a man purposely atempt to get a woman pregnant unless he wants to be with her and has discussed the same with the woman. How can a man be so malicious.
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male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (14 September 2009):
No guy I know likes having to pull out of a girl. When it is done it is just done out of necessity. Get over yourself. Either go on the pill or tell him to wrap his winkie. Its up to you honey
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A
male
reader, koenig  +, writes (14 September 2009):
Who knows...You're both equally irresponsible. Rather than trusting him not to get you pregnant, why not be responsible for yourself and use some contraception. Condoms, the pill, the implant and IUDs - you're pretty spoilt for choice.P.S. If you haven't already taken the Morning After Pill (Plan B, Levonelle etc.), get one and take it ASAP
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually he came on purpose inside me, we had intercourse before and he pulled out but this time he stayed in intentionally. He is a big guy and I tried to push him off but to no avail. Then I did ask him if he actually did what I thought he did and he said Yes with a smile. WTF. After I questioned him he said no not to worry he had been fixed (vesectomy) but then denied it and said its not true he can get me pregnant. Again after showering I asked him Why he would do such a thing and his response dumb founded me. He said cause I want us to be together again as a family and I am lonley. I just can't believe this - I don't understand I guess cause I thought otherwise from him. Arghhhh!!! We have a fifteen year old daughter she already is going through a transition of getting to know her father. How ackward is this gonna be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): Precum can get you pregnant. So let's not be hypocritical.
~Sy.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (14 September 2009):
 Some guys put on the rubber and then take it off while you can't see what's going on down there. Sometimes the rubber breaks which happens.
I don't know if that's what he actually did, or if the condom broke, but assuming he intentionally did that to you its pretty despicable.
There's no easy answer here. Maybe he thought if you got pregnant again, he had a better shot at being around you. Its a long shot.
But the truth is if you want to know why he did that, the first person you have to ask is him.
If you were expecting him to pull out, that's probably pretty shaky. Its impossible to know when a guy's going to let a small amount out or let it all loose and so if you were expecting a pull-out, then that's not considered protected sex.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): The way I see it, he is being selfish because he knew that you weren't interested in having any more children I'm guessing because the first one is a lot of responsibility. However, when you really consider what took place, one can assume that maybe he wanted to have another child with you, something to hold onto that would maybe bring you two even closer together. Maybe he wanted to give you another reason to stay together. Otherwise, you both wouldn't have consented to unprotected sex in the first place. He probably has real feelings for you and figured the only way, you'd stay with him is if you were carrying another child for him. And as selfish as that may have been on his part, it should clue you in to what is really in his heart towards you. Consider asking his opinion of your relationship together and see how he responds.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 September 2009):
 Why did YOU have unprotected sex when you knew you could pregnant? Gee Whiz it's a two way street Babycakes and at your age you should know that by now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): My question is Why? When you knew you could get pregnant and not wanting anymore children have sex with him without using any form on contraception?Really the blame cannot all be placed on him...You have to think about your own actions aswell.
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