A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Just because I have huge boobs, a small waist and so I have been told a pretty face, can't a man take me further than my bed????I want a partner not just sex.What is their problem or is it mine????
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for taking time to help me.It has really given me an insight into seeing how I actually,possibly come across to men.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): A woman who says she is 'fun' usually translates to 'up for it' on dating sites.
Add huge boobs and they probably can't believe your not a professional with a dodgy website and so, will promise you the earth - so they get laid
Yes there are a minority of men who are genuine, but not many - I agree with what cindycares says.
Take it with a pinch of salt have a laugh but dont have high expectations of finding romance online.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Ah... dating sites. That explains a lot.
Dating sites are not the road to perdition, are worth a try ( without too many expectations ) and very occasionally people can find relationships through them.
But the majority of people who's on there are not focused on finding a steady relationship. They are bored, they are curious, they've got time to kill, they want to " see what's out there " or "see what happens " ( read : get laid ).
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have been told that they are worried I would hurt them, because if your on dating sites they feel so much competition.Yes,I am old enough and smart enough to know if they want more, but that is the point, I haven't found any one bloke who wants more!I am not thick and I am not stupid, that's why I asked the question in the first place. Is it dating sites that have this influence or just men that want something on the side?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): Why would you hurt them - do you have concrete boobs?
I am sure your fun, and have a good personality but if your not sleeping with these men then how do you know they just want sex?
Do they ask for it? Drool over you in pubs? Look at your boobs when talking to you? Or do you just think they are?
Try mixing in different circles, go someplace serious maybe to meet serious type men - who knows - ALL men don't behave like schoolboys and/or avoid relationships, its a lottery for everyone
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionContinuing on from the answers from 'can't a man take me further than my bed- I don't initiate sex, far from it.Apart from wearing a sack how can i hide my boobs and quite frankly why shouldn't I wear something that is flattering. I don't sleep with them, the point i am trying to get across is that I can't seem to ever get across the barrier of the physical attraction.I have a good personality and i am fun, but are blokes just not after relationships anymore or do they think I will hurt them?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionContinuing on from the answers from 'can't a man take me further than my bed- I don't initiate sex, far from it.Apart from wearing a sack how can i hide my boobs and quite frankly why shouldn't I wear something that is flattering. I don't sleep with them, the point i am trying to get across is that I can't seem to ever get across the barrier of the physical attraction.I have a good personality and i am fun, but are blokes just not after relationships anymore or do they think I will hurt them?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): I myself have large breast and a sexy curvy body i get loads of attention for this reason but i am old enough and smart enough to know when a man wants more than just sex from me and there is just no way i would allow any man to think i was that easy laid on a plate
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 July 2011):
 YOUR problem. You are allowing them to take you only to bed...
Demand better to receive better...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): Men are not adverse to small boobs either,as long as theres sexual availability then men will be men. First night its thanks,see you around then. Dont give it ,make them wait.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 July 2011):
 Yours. You go for the wrong men.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (24 July 2011):
It is yours. Apparently, they just have to ask you and you go yessir. Why ? You can tell, sorry darling, I'll only will have sex with you when the relationship is more established,or when I'll be sure about our mutual feelings, or.. .you got the concept anyway.
Most of the men would instantly disappear if you do that ? Quite possible, probable, in fact. What do you care ? It means that they weren't much interested to begin with, and that they were not relationship material- therefore not the right match for you. They would have disappeared anyway after sex, leaving you feeling used and disappointed. So, you've got nothing to lose by being more selective.
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A
female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (24 July 2011):
 The better question: Why are you letting them take you to bed? Make them take you further than your bed before you go to bed.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 July 2011):
 Dont go to bed with them, and if they get pushy tell them, "I am more than a pair of tits and until you recognise that fact we dont have much in common, if you think you want to discover what else I have to offer, let me know, until then its bye bye" and leave them to it!
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A
female
reader, zhacha +, writes (24 July 2011):
Context and what you demand will in part get a man to not see you only as a bed partner. As older woman we must be especially careful not to be thought of as sex-desperate... As most sexual-only liaisons rarely go beyond that. CONTEXT and CONTENT personal, extrapersonal, interpersonal! Example: meet men a bar - bed is next move fast. Or wear overly revealing clothes, that excentuate only you body: fast bed time follows. Remember you can control the outcome and you have to set standards...
How you meet and the message you initially send out even if modestly dressed says alot to a man interested in sex only. Meet and interact thru things outside of clubs, and don't rush even if they do. If you find 'you' are tempted to have sex fast, avoid night time interactions too early. Go out to the museum, parks, etc... and find a non-sexual, yet fun project or interest. Things to engage the mind to a. see if your dealing someone with a 'mind', and b. find out 'what' IS ON THEIR MIND. And yours!
If they seem interested only in sex, stop it and end the connection or go forward to the bed. Let them know what you want, and be certain of yourself as a woman first, of WHAT YOU WANT and that will help draw the man you want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): Its the signals you give out - not your physical appearance that lead to this problem.
Most men will always love big boobs - its a fact - and sex on a plate - but if you don't put out or draw attention to your body they will look further at you, get to know you.If they're really interested.If they're not, then you know what the man was after
It may take longer to get into a relationship but at least you will know he's genuine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): You need to learn to not go to bed with the men.You need to take time more and not be such a push over.It might help to play down the big boobs and small waist a little and develop other assets.Maybe I am wrong but thats what i would do.
All the best.
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