A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have this guy who is a friend we mail/text back and forth almost on a daily basis, then today outta nowhere he is like an anti christ . . He is hung over but surely thats not going to change him into a nasty piece of work is it???? Why is it we ladies let men get under our skin . . Like if we have a falling out why do we feel it is necessary to keep texting or mailing them and then we get more annoyed when they do not answer??? There is a saying that you can't live with them and you can't live without them which is very true . . But if they just learned to communicate properly it would make things all the more easier to bare wouldn't it. . . thanks, Frustrated Female.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): guy can learn as I have.I find women love talking to me now.I actually learned to really listen.It's amazing for the first time in my life.I found not being reactive is the key for me.Listening without judging criticizing defending or attacking.Caring guy below has valid points i believe.
I also believe a man's ego gets in the way so they are constantly trying to defend or attack a mental position.This prevents him free hearing the actual meaning.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): Oh cool, my mistake then. OP stands for Original Poster.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes Cerberus it was a JOKE! i try to give everyone a chance and i am not negative to men i don't think.
I don't drink so it has never happened to me but i still have bad crappy days when i just want to be by myself. It just got to me yesterday cos i only contacted him to see how he was.
By the way what does "OP" stand for?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): Miracles? I hope you are joking. One minute you're saying he's a nasty piece of work and then the next your saying it's a miracle that he was able to apologize for having a bad day?
If that wasn't a joke then your attitude towards men is a tad negative in my opinion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe mailed me today and apologised for his mood yesterday. I guess miracles do happen . . LOL
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): Actually OP the same can be said of some women, it's not just men and despite your frustration I think you know that it's not all men either.
He had a bad day, get over it, we all have crappy days sometimes, especially if we were drinking the night before because anything could have happened.
You're acting like you've never done it yourself.
Have you even considered that he might not be answering back because he doesn't want to subject you to any more grief on a day when he's probably snapping at everyone that says even one word to him? Does he really seem like he's in the right mood for effective communication? Perhaps you woke him into his hangover when he would have preffered to sleep on. Perhaps he's at home now with his head wrecked from the night before, post drink blues and now he has to deal with just raging at a friend when he probably didn't mean to.
You might want to relax and stop taking his bad mood personally. We all have bad days and on those days it's best to leave us alone to deal with things ourselves.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888  +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Yeah, okay. What you really mean is why can't he communicate properly and why do you feel you need to keep texting or mailing him.
Generalising annoys me.
Mail Male Man.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 June 2010):
Interesting. Any man would ask the same thing of a woman. I'd ask why do women persist in nagging men into talking when it's clear we don't want to.
The answer,in my opinion, is this:
When women talk, there is a lot of hidden meaning, and a lot of hint. When my girlfriend says something like "Wouldn't it be nice to go out sometime", I know what she's really saying is "I'm bored and I want to go out and of something now!"
However, men don't usually have hidden meanings. We tend to speak literally (which is why we frequently say the wrong thing).
So when a man and a woman come together, you have the problem that you have had today.
A woman will say something, but a man will take it literally and won't look for the hidden meaning or will miss the hint.
Or a man will say something, and a woman spend ages trying to find a hidden meaning or hint that just isn't there.
That's what you did. You looked for something more, where there was nothing more. Your boyfriend was the anti-Christ because he was hung over. That's it. That's the reason. But because women tend to look for a meaning, here you are asking why he acted that way. I can tell you it's not you at all. He was just hung over. That's all there is to it. So in future, stop looking for an answer. Stop looking for hidden meanings. Because the truth is that with men, what they say is pretty much what they're thinking, and what they do reflects how they feel. Don't go chasing and emailing for extras, just leave him for a day or two and then speak to him. Or let him come to you.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Hi,
I know how you feel. Try not to let it get to you.
Good Luck!
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