A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This isn't directed to any asker in particular, but I am becoming increasingly concerned, and unfortantely, though I try to withold judgment, I do experience anger, in both my personal life and with askers on the site, who are both aware of contraception/sexual protection options but make no effort to take part of them, thus endangering their bodies, their partners' bodies, and definitely risking pregnancy at an unready age!Why are you doing this, girls? I don't think it's availability: condoms are very easy and cheap to find, go to a drug store, and planned parenthoods tend to have free condoms around. Is it pressure from your men, that condoms constrict a guy and don't feel as nice? there are STILL options for women out there, spermicides, and sponges, and if you can afford it, the pill/ring/patch. And isn't the discomfort of a condom better than the discomfort of ripping your vagina open to accomodate a baby or lifelong herpes or worse? I don't mean to attack, and I understand that some people that only have been taught 'keep your legs crossed' but for the individuals that know that there are ways to not get pregnant or diseased, I'm just disappointed that you are not more active in your role in your life and making it more what you want to be. If someone can explain the other side's mentality, I would appreciate it..maybe i'd grow sympathy instead of disrespect.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009):
People are genetically hard-wired to get themselves pregnant. A lot of people are always going to do what nature tells them to do. Their minds will subconsciously invent a rationalization for it no matter how unrelated it actually is.
We could install 100% free vending machines full of birth control pills, morning after pills, and condoms, into every public bathroom in the country. It still wouldn't stop the problem. I'll bet it would only reduce it by a small or moderate amount. There would still be rampant unprotected sex & teen pregnancy.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Okay a few more comments from the old man. First of all, you can simply ditch the idea that all young girls are going to suddenly become wise and cautious in every way sexually - it just ain't going to happen.
And you can throw out any presumption that young men are all going to spontaneously realize all the potential ramifications of screwing these sweet young things. The guys can just walk away if pregnancy or disease occurs, which the guy apparently do in droves.
This has been going on throughout humanity. The best solution, in my opinion, is the birth control pill. And today, the use of condom protection is highly advisable, but hardly anybody really likes the latex. Yet, herpes and HIV are worse results if any likelihood of exposure is eminent.
Well I agree that the birth control pills are a chemical intrusion and we seem to have quite enough molecular exposure, but at least during the years when natural desires are so overwhelming for youth, at least the pills help avert some unwanted results most of the time.
My point is: Guys are going to be guys, and undoubtedly a majority of girls are going to allow what they have allowed for thousands. Some girls are a bit smarter and more circumspect, but most young women and just about every dude are so horny and driven by hormones that the trend is never likely to change. Consider that nature, or God if you prefer, created us that way.
Thankfully so, but I foresee no solution to the dilemma posed other than widespread discussion and knowledge, which we attempt here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto straight guy, i'm a girl and i protect myself, but i understand the need to be loved, both by child and/or by father, so that's an interesting explanation.
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A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (25 November 2009):
 Well I'm 17, and I know I'm not a saint when it comes to protection... but I guess at the very least I can say that I'm on the pill, and me and my boyfriend have both been tested for STI's and are both clear...
I admit that we don't use condoms, I guess mainly because I can't feel anything when he uses them (we've tried all different sorts).
I'm at college (high school) and they give out condoms for free twice a week. But I still see girls who are pregnant there every day. I've also found out that one girl I went to school with has just had a baby, and another one who I used to be friends with is due a baby soon (both are the same age as me) and 4 girls who were in the year above me have kids too.
I do understand when girls my age want a baby because they want to feel loved, because I sort of feel that way too, but I know I wouldn't be able to afford it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 November 2009):
I guess they don't believe it will happen to them, or they make the naive assumption that they will get pregnant and the man will suddenly annouce his undying love. Either way, it usually ends in tears.
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A
female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (25 November 2009):
 Girls have children at a young age because they think it might make them less lonely as more grown up. I think that teenage hormones play a big role in this and can mess up their minds. Some girls will be on the pill but 'accidentally' miss a few to become pregnant.
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A
male
reader, Anadin +, writes (25 November 2009):
 so far most girls iv met dont want to go on the pill or use any protection from their side because
they want to get pregnant, like annon_female reader says, they think they'll get the man to stay if they have their child, almost worked with me, till i wised up about the type of girl that wants this.
another was the contraceptive pill made them too hormonally imbalanced and unstable
my current GF says she dosent like the idea of putting chemicals in her body, theres plenty of chemicals in food and whatever else etc so why add to that?
luckily im a bit more dilligent using protection, i dont want to be snared like i nearly did in my first explanation and lightbulb moment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2009): Like "DoubleM", I see loads of young unmarrieds in most towns I go to; "pram-faces" with a young child being pushed in front of them, no ring on their finger.
They obviously regard it as a good career move to get knocked up, not really caring if the father stays around or not, so long as they can collect benefit and be allocated a council house at our expense.
Simple really; they are milking the system and it's better than working for a living.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 November 2009):
Well I agree with you, from a man's point of view. Most of my experience is from years ago, but at least most girls were on "the pill" back then, or said that they were. And there was not nearly so much threat of sexually-transmitted disease in the 70s, so it was somewhat reasonable to feel fairly secure against the primary threat of unintended pregnancy.
These days, I see huge numbers of very young girls toting babies around, and in many cases, I strongly suspect that the fathers have moved on. Guess that I'm just happy to be at the age where most any woman willing to be with me is well past menopause and likely sexually inactive for some years. How comforting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2009): i grew up in a violent loveless household, i ended up going with boys that showed any interest in me as i admit i was desperate for affection of any kind (not loads of boys but who ever came along i would stay with regardless how they treated me), i did not use protection as i thought if i got pregnant i would never be alone and the father would stay with me.
i was 20 then (48 now) and i see now what a bad place i was in then, (fortunatley i did not catch sti's and did not have children till almost thirty) just lucky i suppose.
but thats the reason that i personally never protected myself.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (25 November 2009):
 Well, you are a girl, so why aren't girls?
Probably because most girls are not all that intelligent.
Teenage boys know no fear and they dive into pools of water from bridges and die.
Teenage girls know no fear and they use no condoms and play adult games they simply can't handle.
Most young people just don't think of the future. It is part of being young.
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