A
female
age
26-29,
*jroller14
writes:Help me pleased I don't know what to do!Okay so I have a few diferent guys asking me out and I got no Idea who to pick.1 guy is my ex BF (call him Ducky) Him and I were dating for like a week then I had to break up with him cuz of drama in my life.well now 2nd guy is my friend (call him Arby)he is asking me out and I like him and he is really sweet, I've known him since I was 13 and Im turning 15 next month.and the last guy is my ex (call him Dorky) he is a real goofball and always makes me laugh but I ended up breaking up with him cuz i was always mad at him and had no idea why.BUt now I find myself having feelings or all 3 of them and I dont know who to choose. can u please help me decide from a real sweet heart, to a amazing guy, to a real goofball?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 September 2011):
 There's no sense in crying over boys!!! Plus, you're lucky that boys like you. I can't tell you how many young girls we get on here that want boyfriends but can't get one.
So you can't pick a guy, it's not the end of the world. If you're feeling stressed over it, then just say to heck with them all. You're going to be single and happy. You don't need a boyfriend at all times. It's good to be single. That way you don't have to worry about controlling boys who will try to pressure you into doing things, what to get them for their birthdays, them flirting with other girls, having a fight and worrying about making up, or worrying about if you're choosing your boyfriend over your friends. None of that drama!!!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Hey, so isn't it a school day today? Focus on school and worry about this stuff later. There's no good reason to ruin your grades worrying about something as insignificant as boys, lol.
Trust us, with time, things will become clearer. There simply is no rush, okay? Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Sjroller14 +, writes (23 September 2011):
Sjroller14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question IM sick of it....I cant stop crying....Im staying single....thanx for the help
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 September 2011):
I think you should just continue to get to know them and spend time as friends with them. There's no rush to have to decide, just be honest and say that you just want to get to know people better before you decide anything.
Otherwise, you're just forcing a choice on yourself for no particular reason.
Think about it this way, you may be distracted by trying to figure out which one to 'date' when in fact the guy who is more your type isn't even on your radar yet. If you get into a relationship with one of the three, the guy who is more your type won't even get a chance.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 September 2011):
Since you can't make up your mind then don't pick any of them.
Ultimately it's your choice, and you can choose whether or not you want to listen to your suggestions.
If you're still conflicted..make a Pro's and Con's List for each guy and pick the one who looks the best on paper, i.e. the one with the most pro's.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 September 2011):
 so explain to this old lady why if you are so conflicted on who to date you have to make a choice....
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A
female
reader, Sjroller14 +, writes (23 September 2011):
Sjroller14 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo i didnt.....I still dont know who to pick....Ducky or Arby..... But I've been talking to Dorky and Im liking him again....I feel...like....I think the word is conflicted
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 September 2011):
Sounds like you've answered your own question then. :)
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A
female
reader, Sjroller14 +, writes (23 September 2011):
Sjroller14 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell Ducky never caused me drama......I just had drama at home..... And with Arby this is his last year at School and I still got 2 more years, so I'll never get to see him :'(, plus I dont wanna ruin a perfectly good relationship.....And Dorky Im not giving him another chance.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 I agree with Tennisstar and I vote for Arby. Exes are exes for a reason.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (23 September 2011):
Let me start by addressing the possibility of dating all 3 and getting to know them all. You responded by saying that you would consider this to be cheating. At your age, that makes sense. To an adult dating several people at once to decide which you really like is appropriate at that age, but at your age it could quite easily be considered a betrayal of trust by any of them, and you would not be comfortable, which is the main thing. Rather than dating all 3 of them, feel free to spend time with all 3 of them as friends and get to know what they are like. It takes time to really get to know people. If you aren't sure that you like a guy enough to be with him, you probably don't like him enough, or don't know him well enough. Trust your judgement and feelings on the matter, and take your time, if you do that you will make the right choice.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 September 2011):
Happy, Sleepy, and Dopey aren't options as well? Just kidding!
Ducky- You already gave him a chance. Then he caused drama in your life??
Arby- Sweet guy and the only one you haven't dated. Sounds like a winner to me!
Dorky- Real goofball, sounds immature, and you were always mad at him. Plus you've already dated him.
I'd go for Arby because you haven't dated him yet. He deserves a chance!
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Arby.You don't even mention that you like Ducky, which I think says a lot.You broke up with Dorky because he just annoyed it, chances are it's not going to be any different this time around.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 September 2011):
 It's not cheating it's called "playing the field". As long as you don't lie about it, it's all good. Plus at your age it's much safer because there is no sex involved.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 September 2011):
How is dating more than one person cheating?
are you telling them you are only dating them?
there's DATING
there's going steady
there's getting pinned
there's engaged
there's getting married
umm only if you are GOING steady or greater can you cheat...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 September 2011):
I agree there is no rule that says you can only DATE one. it's better to be unattached if you can't make up your mind.
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A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (22 September 2011):
 It really does not matter which one you pick, if you even want to choose any of them at all. A relationship at your age is generally short and shallow anyway, so pick somebody ( or don't) and have fun. If you don't like that person and it does not work out you have learned something for next time. Or to put it another way you can't make a mistake because they are all the right/wrong decisions.
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A
female
reader, Sjroller14 +, writes (22 September 2011):
Sjroller14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question @eyeswide open....to me thts cheating and im not a cheater
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 Only you can choose who you want to be with am afraid. Just follow your heart. At the moment you are extremely confused so the best thing that you can do is not date anyone at the moment just take some time to yourself and see which one of these men you really want to be with. It takes time. Dont rush anything.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 September 2011):
Whose says you have to choose? Date all three. You don't have to be in a committed relationship especially at your age.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 NEVER pick the dangerous" one always go with the sense of humor dude. Wouldn't you rather laugh a lot than be all tense and stuff?
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