A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HelloI need some help getting over my ex that I know is prob no good for me and maybe seeing If I was over reacting?We were only together about 4/5 months. We'd known who each other was for a year or so and it all started one night when we bumped into each other out and he came back to mine (not good I know but no funny business went on) The start was good, in touch all the time. Then suddenly he went hot and cold, he had only been single about 2 weeks before he met me so thought he maybe had feelings for the ex. Anyway to cut a LONG story short he blew hot and cold a lot not getting in touch for days etc going distant cancelling plans, then when I couldnt take anymore of not knowing where I stood about 3 months into it(he only seemed really interested when he thought someone else was) I just politely told him when we were out together that I wasn't interested in just 'seeing' someone anymore, for me I wanted a little bit more and told him he obviously needs some time out for himself and single time with the guys and I wanted just be friends. He told me he didnt want me to be with anyone else and didnt want to stop seeing me. He then introduced me to the family and a week later told me had had been thinking and definately wants to be with me. A week later I get too drunk I admit and I suppose all the problems just came out about how I felt and apparantly wasn't too nice to him. I think I told him I thought he liked all these other people (he is a flirt). Anyhow I apologised the next day (he has been drunk many times and declared his love for me etc but obviously I just write it off as him being drunk) We argued again a week after this again me just saying I didnt like the way he was acting with this other girl and he turned it round on me saying it was too soon to argue. I know this and I am annoyed that I acted so Needy as I am never like this. Anyway he broke up with me because of this and ignored me for weeks but then would send me a drunken message from his night out. My friends didnt help the situation by telling him what they thought of him when they saw him out! It was all a mess! Anyway after all this we have stayed civil when we see eacht other and lately I have seen him out and we actually get on better than we ever did together! But now he sends me messages and calls me after he sees me and gives me all these compliments when I see him. It confuses my head a little as I think it is classic case of he doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me. He seems a little immature and to me seems like he doesnt know what he wants.Any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lauren90  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 It sounds like he is the one who is really confused. I suggest you tell him that everything he is doing is bothering you and sending a lot of mixed signals. Maybe you should try to talk to him and tell him that its bothering you and how you feel about it. He sounds super controlling so don't ignore him because that could make it worse, because he probably doesn't even realize what he's doing. I suggest you to just clear the air so you can both take things from there.
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