A
female
age
36-40,
*ic07
writes:My boyfriend and i have been dating for over 3 years now and just over a year ago we were going through a difficult time, always arguing etc, anyway we had a major argument and fell out but not properly and he kissed a girl at work (who i might add was only 15!) he was stringing us both along but told her he wanted nothing more to do with her as he loved me. we've been together ever since and i still don't seem to be able to forgive him and still get upset and angry. but yesterday i don't know why but i have a new sim and so thought i'd wind him up and text pretending I was her just to see if he would reply and he did. i asked simple things such as how's the new job. He answered the questions i asked but kept asking where i'd got the number. later that night he found out it was me and said we were over and i'd ruined the relationship, but i think he is the one who ruined everything and i know i shouldn't have text him pretending to be someone else but is he in the wrong or me? and should i forgive him for what he did last year or move on? I'm so confused please help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): personally, i would've done what you did. whether its right or its wrong. you remind me of me. but i agree with anon asking questions like how his job is going wouldnt prove much, you should've gone for the kill! lol.
so to answer the question, he was in the wrong. just because you fell out that doesnt mean he can kiss someone else. especially a kid!
what you did was a bit manipulative but you had a reason to do it - you just needed to know. i think he will probably calm down and want to get back together. i mean he expected you to put up with him cheating, but he wont put up with you not trusting him afterwards?
but you shouldnt take him back. once a cheater always a cheater and when the trust is gone its almost impossible to get back.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): I don't think you were wrong personally. If I were you though, I would have asked him if he wanted to meet up. You didn't take it far enough just asking innocent questions. How are you going to find out if you can trust him by asking how the new job is going? You pretty much wasted what you did on asking innocent questions. You made him mad & you didn't even test his trustworthiness. If he wants to leave then I say let him. He;s the one who cheated & you have the right to test him now that he did that & he's probably just mad b/c he got caught talking to her, or so he thought it was her.
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A
female
reader, honestheart +, writes (13 September 2007):
You were both in the wrong. He was wrong for cheating and you were wrong for tricking him. The thing with pretending to be someone else to trap him is that the truth will always come out. You don't trust him and he no longer trusts you. Trust is vital in a relationship so put this down to a lesson learned, walk away and remember this for next time.
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A
female
reader, LilWun23  +, writes (13 September 2007):
wow... personally i have trouble trusting people too but if it has been a yr since this happened and u pretended to be someone else u are actually somewhat paranoid. i think u should seriously think about the relationship over all and ull find the answer urself as of forgiving him or not. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): He is in the wrong big time - you don't need a louse like that. You were slightly wrong to text him but it is understandable as he broke your trust. Ditch him for good, seriously - you can do better.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Both of you were wrong. That is the easy answer:
He cheated on you, but you tested him by LYING to him. 2 wrongs hardly ever make a right, and this time it certainly hasn't. You both might also consider not being so childish over this. Why should it matter who's wrong and who's right? Or, who's to blame for breaking up the relationship? You both did stupid things, and clearly aren't suppose to be together.
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