A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 11 months has a very high sex drive. He likes to just grab and touch me when we are at home, which I don't mind because at least he is attracted to me right? So as you can see he likes to have sex. Well of course there are certain times of the month when I cant have sex. And I go to bed really early because I get up for work early. My question is "When he doesn't get to have sex with me he goes to porn websites and pleasures himself, Should I worry about that?" Well I haven't had sex with him for about a week and a half because it is that time of the month and I just haven't been feeling too good either. I have noticed that he has been going to a porn website almost every night or at least every other night. Is this just normal for guys? Or since he does this so often could he have a problem? I do admit I get jealous because he looks at other naked women while I am asleep but I don't let my feelings show. And he knows that I know he does that. All you guys out there... Do you all do the same thing that he does? or is he out of control with looking at porn almost every night?
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jealous, porn, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, helen  +, writes (24 October 2007):
 Am i the only one that thinks that maybe sometimes a guy will just have to do without if the girl doesnt feel like having sex. We arnt whores. She said she gets tired and goes to bed early and she also says she has work....come on she has to give some loser of a guy a blow job then? oh yeah...perfect time. Its like rewarding a dog for bad behaviour. I mean, my god, have a little bit of self control- she said it was only a week and a bit. Get a grip you guys! You seem to have all fallen for this excessively sex driven culture created to sell us more junk. Sex is about love and respect and care, not about giving blow jobs on demand... what a bunch of misguided people you are!
The issue wasnt about crossing 'the red river' as so elegantly and elloquently put, the issue was about a boy who clearly has too much time on his hands and has been allowed to indulge himself to excess. His behaviour is insensitive at best and disrespectful in reality.
Tell him you want it stopped...if not move on and realise you have much higher morals than him. Would you want your children growing up in an environment like that? Peadophiles and twisted people look at porn everyday too...how seedy!
A
male
reader, Dr. Jones  +, writes (15 August 2007):
Porn has been debated since it's discovery. Is it good not good...healthy for a relationship or not? The issues in your case are simple... You like sex during your period, your bf doesn't. So you are compromising, soon this will grow into frustration and resentment from yourside.Relationship = not healthy. From what you wrote, he seems to be like a Porn-addict, don't be fooled that he rather cums watching this than doing it physically with someone else. He aint far from that. Soon he will want to put into practice what he is filling his mind with and will experiment, easily accessiblity places like strip clubs, and ladies that offer sex for payment will be his likely next steps. Perhaps he will want to try things that he sees on the Porn and if you don't enjoy it or comply he will feel rejected and behave irrationally and seek it elsewhere. You have identified something, you need to deal with it and if it means breaking-off do so. You will find someone who will be eager to please you anytime...All the best
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Why can't you have sex on your period? Be thankful he's pleasuring himself instead of someone else. He has a need, and he is fulfilling it and hurting no one. If you feel bad about it, you should offer yourself to him. I wouldn't unless she offers to him and he rejects her, then it's time to be concerned.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Personally, I think it is completely wrong. Having your period does not mean that you can't pleasure him, he is choosing porn over you. But you don't seem to have TOO much of a problem with it, or at least don't show it, so he will never know that it is not acceptable. In a true loving relationship, a man does NOT NEED to jack off to other naked women. Thinking that it is ok is completely twisted in my opinion. If you are bothered by it, you need to tell him right away. If he respects you enough to quit it, then perhaps you have a relationship worth having. Sounds to me though like he may be addicted, or is developing an addiction. Good luck, hopefully you will find out what you think is ok in a relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Sex during my period is some of the best I have ever experienced. My previous boyfriend of 7 years was an avid hunter and wasn't bothered by the sight of blood one bit. Now I want sex during that time and unfortunately have a boyfriend who will not go there, I miss it alot. My previous boyfriend also didn't have any porn and my new guy like you jacks off to porn all the time which bothers me greatly. I don't think having 'mental' sex with other women feels like monogamy to me and I can't help but think I much prefer a guy who likes me both physically and mentally. If you are bothered by the porn, you should talk to your man about it and see where he stands because if you hold it in you may find that you will come to resent the time he spends with his computer women.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Hey, as long as I get the attention when I want it, I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend was jacking off to porn once in a while! I wouldn't worry about it as long as he takes an interest in you when it counts.Personally though, I would help my boyfriend out a bit, if ya know what I mean ;)
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (14 August 2007):
 Hi
I wouldnt be too alarmed. Like the other poster said though, can you not do things for him at that time of the month? I wouldnt be too keen on crossing the red sea either :o(
But also like Karlos said, least hes not going elsewhere. Guys are way more visual than girls. They get off on porn. Porn is ultimately aimed at males.
If it really bothers you, like Flower girl says, have a chat with him, because if somethings a problem for you, you need to say.
Good luck.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): I don't see why people are saying it is o.k. for someone who is in a relationship to sit & jack off to porn while their girl is asleep. If I knew my man were doing this, I would be livid. But this is your fault for not telling him how you feel about this. If you tell him & he doesn't care, then you know he doesn't respect you. If you tell him & he agrees not to do it, then you can & should compromise. It is o.k. to have sex during your period & a lot of women find that their "down there" is a lot more sensitive during that time of the month. I doubt your man will mind, especially if he has a high sex drive. But to all the people saying it is normal for a guy to jack off to porn every day when he has a girlfriend & is getting sex from her, I say you don't know what normal is. I can see a guy doing it once in a while, and a single guy doing it more often. But every day? That's a little extreme. maybe he has too much time on his hands?
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (14 August 2007):
 Have you and your boyfriend got a problem with having sex while it is the time of the month?
It's not all that messy and then at least you will have his attention instead of the computer.
It is very normal for men to watch porn, but if upsets you that he is doing this then you need to talk to him about it.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, Karlos Omnis +, writes (14 August 2007):
 Some men have very high sex drives, and as a result need a method of "releasing" themselves.
So i would say it was natural.
However, if you have that much of a problem with it, why don't you do other things for him, why don't you perform oral on him or something of a similar nature.
If not then be greatful that you have one of those decent gentlemen who'll happily sort himself out rather than pressuring you or going elsewhere.
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