A
female
age
30-35,
*hna
writes:hey iv just had this question in my head a few days and i just wondered what mabye you guys thought ?whats the point in woman being confident if theres always going to be another girl thats always better looking then you ? theres perfect girls everywhere even on tv you cant seem to get away from them . . i just feel like whats the point in me or any other girl making an effort to look good and be confident about ourselves when theres always another girl out there who a guy would drul over more ?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): Confidence may as well be a physical feature, right up there with eyes, smile, body etc. Why? Because it affects nearly everything about you, physically, your personality, mentality, mood, emotions.... nearly everything. It works both ways though, high confidence affects you positively and low confidence negatively... bear with me here...
Imagine a slightly above average looking woman. If she has low confidence she for example may:
Smile less
Talk timidly or softly
Have slouched posture, (back, shoulders, head down)
Use less animated facial expressions & hand gestures
Take less pride in her appearance- fashion/makeup etc.
Fidget or appear uninterested
Have trouble keeping eye contact with people
Have trouble maintaining or starting conversations
But this girl has an identical twin sister who has high confidence, picture her as:
Smiling often and wholeheartedly
Talking at various tonalities and volumes (not dull)
Stands straight, shoulders back, head up at eye level
Is very animated and expressive with body language (fun)
Isn't afraid to have her own fashion sense (individual)
Looks people in the eyes, appears interested & focused
Is more comfortable conversing with people about many topics
Stand them side by side and even though they are the same anatomically... they look, act, move and interact with people completely differently. Confidence is more important than looks- as it can either make you more or less attractive- both on the inside and outside. Yeh, there are a few billion females on the planet, it'd be fair to assume that there's probably some that are (at least by society's current opinion).
So a woman got lucky in the genetic pool... so what? Its the luck of the draw... she didn't earn her looks.. whats to admire about her? Where as somebody who may be average looking and doesn't have the benefits of being treated better by people, generally speaking- builds character, strength, maturity and emotional depth. If they've got all that PLUS high confidence- that's very very attractive.
Just my two cents.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Because it's not about the guys drooling all over you. Is that what confidence is about? Just a show for someone else? No, self confidence is about YOU feeling amazing about YOURSELF and that is worth the effort. Sure there will be other people who are better at you than some things, or better looking, but none of them are you. Only you truly know how unique and special you are, and the more you give yourself kudos for being you, the better you will feel inside. Then things like who the boys drool over won't be important because you know how awesome you are, and how you're worth a guy who sees just how great you are inside and out.
Sometimes I like to put on my sexiest bra and pantie set under my everyday clothes, when I know I'm the only one that will encounter them. I don't do it for any man... I do it for ME. Hey, the relationship you have with yourself is eternal and is important to cater to as well! You have to know how to make yourself feel special and beautiful without anybody else. You should not need a man slobbering all over you just to feel good about yourself!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): Um..let me make something clear...NO ONE IS PERFECT.ok, yes there are always going to be a "Better looking girl", BUT it doesnt mean you shouldn`t be happy and confident in your own body. As long as a guy your with can see you as the best god damn thing he'll have lol you better happy about it and not worry about the girls on tv or porn or just walking down the street.
Besides "its whats on the insides that counts" ewww bloody guts lol
xoxo Take care!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): Really, guys think confidence is sexy. A great intellect and a smile and the way you walk when you feel good about yourself will win out over the most beautiful woman who walks slumped over and is uncomfortable with herself.
Trust me, I know. It goes both ways really. I have been a model since I was 17, I've done big shoots and met famous people. And I've also battled an eating disorder, been a cutter, been an addict, been suicidal, all because I was not happy with myself. I've been told I'm beautiful my whole life, but I am not confident. And I've lost guys to ordinary looking girls-- because I lack that confidence.
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A
male
reader, knaixer  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 LOL So True, All guys will drul over those girls. But you know, perfect is really not what a guy will choose ultimately. Biologically, a guy will choose a female that will best suit him. A wimpy guy would like a girl who take charge once in a while and encourage him to be more manly. A muscula guy would like someone who can take care of him when he's sick and weak. A genius guy would like someone who can match his intellect while make him feel more superior in intellect. Some of the guys here might have differ opinion on what the guy wants, but ultimately he want a girl who he can show off as his match partner in life.
Dressing up nice and being confidence emphasize who you are and how you want to be presented to those social monkeys. If you want a guy, then find out what he wants in a girl... We, guys, will accept an acceptable good looking girls, then see if personality match. And some of the guys won't even consider what you called "Perfect".
And don't get me wrong, we like to look at pretty girls just as much as we like to look at pretty pictures, but if you are going to give up because of that...you are way too weak. And I, as a guy, find that... distasteful.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (22 October 2010):
 You really only take confidence in the way you look?
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A
female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (22 October 2010):
There's always going to be better looking girls, but there will never be someone that is the same as you. So a girl might be prettier but she won't have the same sense of humour or cute laugh. Or won't read the same books, and have the same passion about art or something else. So it's about being confident about who you are as a person. And some people will come along and like you, and some people will come along and think those parts of you are just about perfect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): There is more to being attractive than looks. If your body is perfect, but your personality ugly, you will only have shallow guys interested in you. Also, physical beauty is not the same for everyone. To me, very thin girls are gross, while girls with curves are beautiful. To other people, it is the opposite. As you get older though, you learn that inner beauty matters more than outer.
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A
male
reader, Ricemonster +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Because looks makes up one aspect of attraction. The other aspects are character, interest, thought process and other tidbits specific to the individual's tastes.
Also, the point is not really about what others think, but rather, how you think about yourself. If you put on an act for others, than it's just an act, but if you are dignified and principled, than that shows regardless of common society or not.
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