A
female
age
36-40,
*taunton5410
writes:Hi everyone. I was wondering if this is a bad thing. So My boyfriend is always touching me in a sexual way, like he will just walk up to me and grap my chest or the other part of me. Well Last night when we went to bed I was starting to fall asleep and I felt his hand go inside my PJ pants and he started rubbing me "down there" I was really tired so I just didnt move or anything, I just layed there, and I was just pretending to be completely asleep. Well he tried rubbing me for about 15 minutes and then he stopped. It was kinda annoying but I know that if I were to tell him to stop he would just think that I was unattracted to him and then he would just go and masturbate to porn, which I dont like him doing. So what should I do when this happends again because I know it will. Sould I just have sex with him eventhough I am tired and dont really wnat to? Or should I jsut tell him no and let him pleasure himself?
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (1 August 2007):
When two people are in a relationsip, the key word is "Respect" for the rights of each other. I can see that he is kind of shy in that area, when it comes to your rights. So,NO!You need to set some boundaries early on in your togetherness before an ownership mind-set developes. And there is also a time and place for him to touch her goodies,otherwise hands off please. Any man's rights in any relationship, is what a woman allows him, no more and no less. And that is what you should be making quite clear to your bf.
A
female
reader, Beckto +, writes (1 August 2007):
 I agree with penta. Ultimately it comes down to respect. He may be too young and inexperienced to know that he's not treating you respectfully, so your job is to tell him how you feel.
Do you feel like an object when he grabs you like that? Do you just feel like a piece of meat to him? If so, tell him that. Tell him that you love that he's so sexually attracted to you, and that it makes you feel wanted by him. That's a good thing. But say sometimes he goes too far and you feel like just a sexual object to him.
You can't help how he feels after you tell him how you feel. Just make sure you're clear about how you feel. Explain that you love him and say what you like about it. Then also say what you don't like. If he really loves you, he'll hear what you're saying.
One extra pointer, though... Try talking to him away from the bed. Talk to him when you're not so emotionally charged by his actions, like at dinner or when you're about to do something like watch a movie... It's easier to talk about that stuff when you're not right in the moment.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 No you shouldnt just have sex with him to please him. What are you, a sex object? Some nights you will be tired, thats your right, but obviously if he wants to please himself theres nothing wrong with that either.
C xxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Tell him no and let him pleasure himself. And get over the fact that he pleasures himself -- guys like porn. And as long as he prefers you to the porn there's nothing wrong with it (and it lets you sleep).
As for touching you all the time -- I'd be annoyed if my husband grabbed me in a sexual way in front of people, but in private it's kinda fun. It's a respect thing. Ask him to stop it in public and encourage it in private.
And every once in a while, respond to the advance. You won't like it when he doesn't want to touch you anymore because it never works, believe me.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007): thats against the law to touch someone without consent whilst asleep hunnie xx
...............................
|
