A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im only 15. i know im young but me and my best guy friend decided we might have sex. I dont know what to do or what to expect....We are just friends and its going to stay that way we are just going to do it to expiriment kinda. I dont really think hes all that cute but I love him as a friend. any advice? oh and we are both virgins and VERY nervous...
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best friend, both virgins Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): Im 13 and i had sex with my gf and everything went downhill from there...dont do it :( we barely even talk anymore
A
female
reader, Southern_belle123  +, writes (4 August 2010):
Do NOT do it!!! Sex is sapposed to be somthing romantic and special, not somthing you can just give away! Its a kind of bond. He's your first, and you'll always remember it! Wouldn't you rather be able to say that you had your first time with someone you love, rather then saying 'i did it with my bestfriend'. Think about it!! it should be special!
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A
female
reader, Over..worried. +, writes (4 August 2010):
 I'll tell you know after you do this, you will probably NEVER be close again. Just wait untill you are in a relationship and that it is really special, cause when you wait I can promise you, you wont regret it .
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (4 August 2010):
 I'm with everyone else. You shouldn't do this. Sex makes everything more complicated. The fact that you are both nervous is normal and a clear indication that neither of you are ready for it.
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A
female
reader, almc +, writes (4 August 2010):
Keep it don't just give it away to anyone. Find someone who loves you and you love them back, don't loss a friend over this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): My advice - dont do it! You will mess up your friendship. You might thing it's ok now but in time you'll regret it. If you want you two to be more then friends ok, but if you wanna save it, don't do it. This sounds like a game now to you but it's very serious. Please think nice over it.
NightFairty
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): STOP! Don't lose your virginity to your best friend; after all is said and done you both won't be friends anymore.
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A
male
reader, y007steph  +, writes (4 August 2010):
Do not be nervous. What you are going to do now is in certain sense better than do it with a terrible big love. Healthy females and males have to be able to react to each other's body. Do not force to lose your virginity at the first trial. Start with making out and follow your natural reactions and urges. It is important to communicate and tell each other your feelings, urges or disgusts. It is not bad if you postpone the real penetration to a next date. Both of you should find out what you really enjoy in playing with each other's body, and you have to find your own common way how give pleasure to each other, and to yourselves, of course. You are the female, so you are who should be more conscious and clever.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 August 2010):
 My advice to you... realize that after this you will no longer be "just friends". It wont happen. You are turning your friendship into a "friends with benefits". How many times are you going to experiment? Realize that feelings WILL get involved. Having sex together grows some sort of intimacy you have never had with anyone else, and you will feel that you are much closer than "just friends". Then he has sex with someone else and you will be hurt and jealous. Or your friendship can't survive the change and you end up without him as a friend, and your first time being with a guy you stopped talking to after you had sex?
I'm not trying to scare you, just checking if you have thought about all of this. I've also heard, and experienced myself, how a guy gets intimate with one girl and then fools around with others behind her back. Or even in the open. And as for friends with benefits, I've never had a friend with benefits, or heard of any such relationship, where feelings didn't end up being involved in the end.
Maybe you wont fall for him, but he could fall for you. Either way mixing friendship with sex is never a good idea. Realize that you are risking your friendship by doing this. If you are willing to make that sacrifice, go for it. But don't be surprised if you find the relationship changes after you have had sex. Just think about it all and be prepared for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): Losing your virginity should never be the purpose of your first sexual encounter. That way, you are signing up for disappointment and guilt.
Dont' rush this. You are so young that in fact you should wait a little before rushing into sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice im going to have to think it through
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (4 August 2010):
 Advice? This is going to be the person you remember for the rest of your life as being "your first". You should seriously think about whether or not you want your first to be someone you don't really think is cute and that you just want to do it with.
I suggest you wait until you find someone special whom you are in love with.
PS: "We are just friends and it's going to stay that way..." is NEVER the case. Sex is a huge deal and it is something you two will share. Things will never be the same again. EVER.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (4 August 2010):
 Let me tell you this now - losing your virginity is NOT an experiment, or something that should be taken lightly. You only lose your virginity once, and the only way you will not regret losing it for the rest of your life is if you lose it to a man you love, and who loves you in return.
Sex should be special - it is not an experiment or a bit of fun - it is very serious and you really need to be in a committed long term relationship before you think about it.
I can promise you that if you lose your virginity to your friend aged 15 you will regret this for the rest of your life and look back when you are older and wished you had saved it for someone special.
And think about how you are going to explain this when you actually meet someone you really like! Do you think it will be an attractive feature when you tell this man you have fallen for that you lost your virginity aged 15 for a bit of fun with a friend? He is going to think you are a slut and the chances are it will put him right off you!
It is fine if you have a long term boyfriend, where you love each other and respect each other to lose your virginity - because that shows you have done it through love and not hormonal curiosity. But this scenario is all wrong and please please dont do it!
And if you are adamant you are going ahead and refuse to listen to any good advice then please do one thing for me - visit the doctors, get birth control and some condoms. The last thing you want is to have a baby with a guy you dont even think is very cute, let alone are not even have any romantic feelings for! Surely you dont want the outcome of your "experiment" to be a baby now do you?!
I hope for your own sake you think better of this, you dont sound like the typical silly teens that we get on this site so hopefully you will realise this is a bad idea and wont go ahead. And one final thing - having sex WILL change your friendship and things will never be the same between you again. If one person doesnt fall for the other (sex makes you have much more intense feelings for the person you have slept with as it releases all sorts of hormones and emotions that make your bond to that person stronger) - then it will be too akward to ever be good friends again.
So do you really want to lose your friendship, possibly end up with a baby and regret this for the rest of your life?
Or do you want to call this off, remain good friends with him and wait for a really special guy to come along?
I hope the second option is a clear winner for you, because if not, you are going to end up with a lot of regrets.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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