A
female
age
36-40,
*exymama10
writes:I just found out my husband left my 3 children and I to go out with his friends in a far away town(2-3 hrs away),pick up some girls at a bar, go back to there place and slept with one of them. I had called him the same night and he was trying to turn off his phone but instead he answered the phone and left the line open in which I heard him getting it on with the girl. Once he realized the phone was on he hung up on me and then I tried to call him back and he wouldn't answer. Then when he came home he came with police to pick up his stuff(weird). Then he came back begging me to let him in and that he can explain. When he explained what happened to me he looked me in my eyes and swore on our childrens lives nothing happened and so on. I began believing him...he was so convincing. Anyway, I had this sinking feeling in my gut that he was lieing so i went into his stuff and found two girls numbers so i called it and it turned out being the girl he was with friend. She tells me everything and I start freak out. Ambulance had to come the whole deal...I just couldn't believe the man I trusted and love so much did that to me. I moved out and came to my parents house with my children. We have a 1 month old who was sick that night and he had the heart to leave to get laid. I loved him so much. I feel like I'm going crazy. He keeps telling me to come back I don't think I should...but everyone is telling me I should go back. He tries to turn it around on me like it's my fault. Please help me I need to know what to do. How can I get back at him for what he's done?
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female
reader, charliesdevil73  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 CaringGuy and Dr Cal have wrote it perfectly. He cheated, you heard it, he lied, you found out, he lied again, and then he blamed it on you. Scumbag is right. Don't go back to him. You deserve so much better and hopefully you will get it someday.
A
male
reader, df30 +, writes (3 February 2011):
totally agree with caring guy there, what a piece of shit.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 February 2011):
He answered the phone whilst basically having sex with another woman - that is a dealbreaker for me. Why didn't he just send you a video for God's sake.
Then he doesn't answer the phone.
Then he actually turns up at your house with the police to pick some stuff up.
Then he has the arrogance to actually lie and claim nothing happened.
Then you find out something did happen for sure, and you basically had a breakdown. He doesn't just have one girl's number, he has two numbers and you know from having listened to the call that he had been getting it on.
He's blaming you.
And, what really gets to me more than anything else, is that you have a 1 month child who was ill, and he wandered off to get laid.
He has cheated. He did it when your child was ill. He has two other numbers. He answered the phone to you then lied. He lied again. Now he's blaming you.
I would say that you are better off single, being the best mother you can be to your children. Screw him for every penny of child maintenance you can, and get away from him. Do not go back with him - he will make a mockery of you as he already has done. This is not your fault at all. He can just sod off basically. Be a great mother, spend time getting over this and move on from him. This man cheated when your 1 month old child was ill. I'm not sure how lower it could get really.
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A
female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Doll, I'm so sorry. I know how much it hurts to be betrayed, but NO! NO! NO! Do not go back....at least not now. Things are too emotional, too close right now. You have to keep a level head for your kiddos. I will say I went to my dr. And she gave me sleeping meds and antidepressants (may help, but not sure if you are breast feeding) they really helped about 2 weeks in, at least your doctor can watch you, and help you keep a level head all through this.I would not go back to him, not unless he is willing to change. He is a husband and a father so that behavior is not acceptable. Remember, we teach people how they can treat us, and this is inexcusable. Try to look at it from a 3rd party perspective ...what would you advise your children if they came to you with your story. Plus, this is right after everything went down, so I would at least go get couples counseling if he is serious about coming back. But for you to just go back to him, you are saying his past behavior was ok. It was not! Stay with your parents, they always have your best interest at heart. Whatever you decide to do ...this is going to be a little bit of a bumpy ride. Keep me updated!
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