A
female
age
30-35,
*ob-x-x-x
writes:Im pregnant and I am keeping the baby because I don't want to have to go through having an abortion. I am happy with my decision but the baby's dad is not and says 'get rid' but I'm not going to. can anyone tell me what are his rights? (UK) and if i have the baby what do i HAVE to abide by if he changes his mind and wants contact, which i know he will. many thanks
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male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (26 March 2011):
 Seeking legal counsel, is what you need to be doing.
"DO NOT RELY" on anything you read here!
Most of the people here, DO have your best interests at heart, but I feel not many of us are barristers of the English courts.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 March 2011):
Well, first of all he has no right to demand you get rid of it. Secondly, he will have to pay for it. After that, it really becomes a grey area. He could get 2 weekends per month, or 50% of the time depending how a judge sees it or what can be agreed. He may be able to apply for specific parental rights, or they may be declined. Truthfully, the best people to ask are these. http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/Make an appointment to see someone, they will give you totally FREE advice on things like this. They will probably recommend certain things to you, and you can either take their advice or not. One other thing - if it ever goes to court, then you will be forced to comply with the ruling. So the best thing you can do is have a plan in your mind about how you will present something like this should it get that far.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (25 March 2011):
 You have the right to keep it but it seems to me that this will have to be decided on by a court. They will decide who has full custody, the visiting arrangements and also child support which is good because you shouldn't be stuck with having to pay for everything. In the end his right is to take you to court and have them decide on what to do in this situation. Otherwise before the court ruling it is really all up to you and your family for letting him see the baby or be a part in anything.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Don't abort your blessing cause of his selfishness. In the end you will be grateful you kept your baby. When he see the low the baby bring he,will come around. It's your choice how you allow him to be involved with the baby
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A
female
reader, TheFallBackGurl  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Well im quite young but I do have some advice on this. You see I am the product of rape and my mom didnt tell me about my stepfather not being my biological dad untill i was 8 years old. Me and my stepfather never got along but thats besides the point. I was still upset with my mother but not because she kept it from me untill i was 8 but more the fact that she didnt tell me the whole truth. That i found out the truth whenever my stepdad and mom would get into a fight and hed tell me what she lied about just to hurt my mother. What im trying to say is when you have the baby you dont have to put down a name for the father and if later you feel you want the father to be a part of the babies life then let him. He can you know do the whole court thing but then you can fight that. Also even if he doesnt fight for some kind of visiting never keep the truth from your child. Tell him the truth about his father. Your kid will respect you a lot more then if you keep things from him to try and protect his feelings. My mother and I dont have a very good relationship because of this. Also in the future when hes an adult and he wants to try and meet his or her father no matter how much it hurts you don't try and stop him or her. If you raise your kid with love and with all your heart your baby wont even wonder who his or her father is well yes they might think of it but they will have less of an urge to want to find him because everything they need is right there with you. This is probly not exactly what you wanted but I thought you should know this. It might not help right now but it might in the future. Oh yeah and you will never regret having your baby i also wanted to say that. The best of luck with your pregnancy ;)
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