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What is the ideal male body type?

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Question - (20 January 2020) 15 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2020)
A male Australia age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have been lifting weights for ten years and had a bodybuilder type of body. Most other males envied me. I assumed women found my type of physique attractive too. So I was surprised that my girlfriend didn't quite like the way I look and wanted me to lose some of my precious muscle.

About her. She had a pair of breast implants that I really hated. They made her look like a playboy model. I told her that men actually prefer small breasts. She claimed she got implants for herself and not to please others.

One day I told her that if she lost her fake boobs I would lose my muscles. We kept our promises. She got her implants removed and I stopped building muscle. Instead of going to the gym I did a lot of cardio exercises such as running. So I went from looking like a buff Daniel Craig to looking more like a slender Pierce Brosnan.

She loved my body of course. To my surprise I sometimes found other women "ogling" my new thinner self. At least I thought they were. I don't look big nowadays but don't look skinny like I did when I was a teenager either. When wearing a suit I look like a normal guy. Without my clothes I look like a slim guy with toned muscles.

What type of male body type do women really prefer, honestly? I would like to hear some answers from women as well.

View related questions: boobs, breasts, muscle

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (22 January 2020):

mystiquek agony auntOP, you are quite young and your immaturity shows. I hope with time that you will widen your horizons. Never assume (ass/u/me) that your opinions and thoughts are shared by everyone or even a major portion of people. The odds are that they don't.

Many men just like women and can just as easily fall in love with a large breasted vs a small breasted woman. Thank God all men do NOT think like you.

I have a feeling you are very insecure and trying to make yourself into Mr. Macho/I'm a stud. UGH..God help us ladies in the world for a man with ideas like yours. I seen where several of our wonderful male posters have given their opinion and tried to shake up your ideas. Good. Grow up sweets.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (22 January 2020):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI don't believe you speak for all men here, or anywhere else.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2020):

Thanks for all the replies. I didn't expect so many. I agree that different people have different preferences, so I was curious to see what they were. As for breast size, I think generally men prefer small breasts, as most of my mates do. But reflecting on my statement, I realise that I find women with big breasts attractive too. I hope larger breasted women aren't offended by me. Maybe it is just fake boobs that are unattractive. Fake ones look so unnatural and even comical when not hidden by clothing. I believe I speak for all men here.

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A female reader, EmmyApple United States +, writes (21 January 2020):

Personally, I don’t like muscular men and I find slightly chubby guys to be the most attractive. I don’t understand the appeal of rock-solid 6-pack abs. My husband’s belly has always been quite big and I love it. It’s very cute. It feels so good to cuddle with him because his chest and tummy are so soft. I think chubby guys are the best, but there are limits. My husband has put on a lot of weight since we got married and it’s starting to affect our sex life. I don’t mind if a man is overweight but if he’s really obese it can start to be a turn-off and can be uncomfortable during sex. My advice would be, don’t try to build too much muscle. Relax. It’s okay to have some fat!! Just stay moderately healthy and not super obese. And I’m sure any woman will find you attractive.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2020):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYou’re just vain and entitled. You’re no more Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig than you are a sumo wrestler. Stop it.

You also don’t speak for all men either, so don’t you dare tell women what men prefer! Women have enough insecurities without self-important men telling them what all men prefer.

You ASSumed. You keep ASSuming. You know what that makes you....? Foolish.

All men prefer different things, same for all women. Some women like bodybuilder body types and many others don’t. Even in this post, you say “I’d like SOME opinions from women too”, as though men know what women like or women wouldn’t comment.

I’m sorry, but you have an awful case of self-important vanity and you should work on that; it’s much more of a turn off for most people than body type.

Have the body YOU want. Many people love partners who aren’t their typical type.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2020):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntIt's such a personal individual thing. Also remember, while many people have a "type" which they find attractive, this does not necessarily mean they will be in a relationship with someone with that body type. Personality is what is most important. Of course a relationship with someone whose body repulses you is not going to work, but physical attributes are not usually at the top of most women's tick lists. In general, men are much more visually focused than women.

Personally, I can think "wow" when I see what I would term a very attractive man (for me it's the eyes and the smile that I notice, more than the body type) but, if he comes across as an idiot as soon as he opens his mouth, I instantly stop finding him at all attractive. The "complete package" needs to be right, not just the body.

I am intrigued by your almost obsessive need to have other women find you attractive. Why not just do what YOU want for yourself and attract the RIGHT female attention?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2020):

Many men prefer big boobs . Don’t even prefer artificial . You seem to assume that you know what men like And it’s small . In your world all men think the same and have the same preference and all women think the same and have the same preference. Where did you form the mentality that all men like the same things in women and all women like the same things in men . This is extremely immature and unrealistic thinking

Everybody man and woman is different

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (21 January 2020):

Fatherly Advice agony auntSomeone once described it as fit but not chiseled. I agree but sadly will never achieve it. Fit sure I can get there but the not chiseled bit always catches me, even though I agree in principle.

Getting chiseled hurts. Chisels should be restricted to wood, stone or metal. But in my misspent youth me and several of my woodworking associates slipped with a chisel at various times. Usually a stitch or two and a good telling off by the ER nurse and you are good to go.

What we weren't told was that those seemingly minor incidents would mark us eternally as unattractive to women. Now we wander the earth alone and mateless.

You may think this sounds like nonsense but I remind you that you are trying to understand female sexual attraction. What did you think you would find.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (21 January 2020):

Aunty BimBim agony auntNot all women think the same, not all women are attracted to the same type or looks. We are individuals, imagine that!!

Personally body builder "types" have never impressed me, and my first thoughts on meeting, especially a young one, is "bloody dickhead" …. for some reason, in my head and not based on any facts or figures, my brain equates the body builder type to lacking smarts and a sense of humour. Weird huh, because Schwarzenegger appears to have all three.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2020):

Just like the posters say, different women prefer different things.

Moreover, even ONE woman can prefer MANY different looks! Surprise!

I have found slender men, beefed up men, and chunky/chubby men all in the category of "very attractive". It has to do with the vibes they give off, and the chemistry you feel. I have genuinely found them very physically attractive though. As in, I don't necessarily prefer one look over another as so much has to do with the overall vibes and each different body type can be super sexy which I truly believe.

I will say that if I HAVE to choose a favorite look it is probably some muscles, but also some chunkiness overtop ...if that makes sense? Kind of like a "dad bod" look. Built but not to the point where every muscle is scarily defined. The fat overtop softens it and makes it a more "huggable" look. I think a lot of women don't like a COMPLETELY built to stone hard body because it just doesn't seem natural or huggable.

For example, a male I find attractive recently mentioned he wanted to lose weight and I was really disapointed because I like the built but slightly chunky thing. That being said there is this very naturally skinny guy I find very hot as well...but it just seems natural on him, probably because it is.

So I would suggest just go with what your body naturally dictates. Excercise some but don't overdo it. Just relax and enjoy!

Good on you for encouraging your gf to get the implants out. Most probably better for her health in the long run.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (20 January 2020):

Dionee' agony auntIt's hard to speak on behalf of the entire female population because everyone has their own unique taste. What some women may find to be repulsive, others may find attractive.

To answer your question; there are some women that love a really buff guy, I do not like buff guys. Especially if they have a ton of muscle mass which unbalances their BMI (sounds weird, but yes). I'm already on the small side, I don't need to be associated with a giant. There is also such a thing as being too buff to the point where one can't put their hands at their side or carry grocery bags comfortably. This is just, my opinion. I prefer the slimmer, more lean type. I prefer an athletic build over that of a body builder. It's just what I prefer. As is with everyone else on the planet. Each to his/her own.

With that being said, I do not have a specific type so neither would I ask someone to change the way that they look in order to suit me. That's absurd. Support is enough. Discouragement is ridiculous.

Imagine a world where we changed ourselves every time someone didn't like something about our appearance? I wouldn't want to live in that world. There's more to every human being than that. Dig deeper to appreciate what really matters in life and in love.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2020):

No-one can tell you what the 'preferred' type is because it changes with each person, with fashion, with cultures etc etc. I personally can't bear the beefed up muscle man look. It makes me feel sick. I also don't like someone to be so vain that going to the gym and how they look is all that's important to them. A friend of mine only ever goes for the 'wimpy' look. She finds it sexy. Thin, with glasses and studious. If you lined up the men I've been out with over the years, they would bear no resemblance to each other at all. Because what attracts me to someone is their voice, their eyes, their demeanour, their mind and sense of humour. I've been with a big guy (not muscle bound) for five years, I was with a very thin man for two years. The others were mainly average build. As I said, their build is not important to me. And you cannot possibly speak for all men when you say that they prefer small breasts. How do you think you know what ALL men like?

What would turn ME off, would be someone who thought that all that mattered was how they looked. And consequently thought that that was all that mattered to others as well.

I find it sad that the younger generation are so obsessed with looks and surgery and the gym and make-up. When what matters, what really attracts people and helps to make a relationship last is your spirit, your soul, your ability to be empathetic and kind, to be humorous and good company. All this talk about muscles and implants makes me sad. You're missing out on what's important in life.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (20 January 2020):

mystiquek agony auntAll women don't think alike nor do men so there is no answer to this. What pleases one woman might repulse another. I think everyone might agree that the majority of people like to see a HEALTHY male or female. Not extremely heavy nor extremely thin. Then again, there are people who attracted to the extremes!

There are far more to people than looks. I will tell you that the AVERAGE woman appreciates a kind thoughtful man with a sense of humor. PERSONALITY will get you EVERYWHERE baby...looks won't.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (20 January 2020):

CindyCares agony aunt Hard to say. I don't think you will find any unanimous consensus in the answers you'll get. Tastes vary a lot in this respect. The physical ideal may vary according to age of who is doing the evaluation, geographic location, cultural and social variances etc.

For instance, in my country ( Italy ) and in other European countries, the buff, bulky muscle- man is definitely out, ( if he ever was in ), in favour of a slim, toned , swimmer build ( minus the gorilla-length arms, those are quite unnecessary ). Or of a tennis player build- ( at least ,one of the ectomorphic one, like Djokovic ).

Also because lots of muscles are inevitably associated mentally with " coatti " = " chavs " ( I think it's " bogans " in Australia ). Now, while of course not all the very muscular guys are " coatti ", ... all the "coatti " are very muscular and devote lots of time to bulking up,- so there you have it. In Italy ( and France, and Spain, and Switzerland, and , I suspect, some other places in Europe ) your new version would be way more appreciated, in general, than your previous one.

But that's not necessarily so everywhere. I lived several years in the States and there massive muscle was much more appreciated or sought after. Heck, even my dentist was huge !, more than a dentist he looked like the bouncer of some seedy strip club . So... it really depends.

In conclusion I think the ideal body type is the one which is ideal °for you °. The one you feel fine, easy, healthy and self-confident going around with.

As for men actually preferring small breasts... actually that's not my experience or impression at all , then again, like I said, tastes vary a lot, and there's no accounting for tastes, so who knows, you may be right.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 January 2020):

Honeypie agony auntWomen don't have a hive-mind. You DO know that, right?

If WOMEN all liked only ONE type of male bodies there would be a lot of single men and women.

Personally, I'm not a fan of a "body builder look" it looks "fake" to me, like too big implants on women.

A guy who looks after himself is attractive. IMHO, but one so is so far up his own ass in self-worship is not. For me, personality, sense of humor, loyalty, empathy and drive is WAY more attractive than just a "hot bod".

I don't think ANYONE should change their bodies (even fake looking implants) for a partner. I think if YOU were happy with your body builder build and SHE was happy with her fake tits, you BOTH should have ACCEPTED your partner for how they CHOSE to look. After all, I bet YOU that you DID notice her big boobs and initially found them attractive, and ditto for her and your muscled body-builder look.

The thing is OP - looks only means SO much to most people. If you are a shit person in an attractive "skin suit" it might initially give you some point or a head start but it won't give you deep and meaningful friendships and relationships.

Eventually we ALL grow older and less hot and less fit/ toned, that is reality. So why put your eggs (looks) all in one basket?

It sounds so shallow to me.

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