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female
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36-40,
*ipsydoodlenoodle
writes:Just a quick question for everyone, in your opinions does not saying anything (and letting the other person assume – whilst not telling them the truth but also not lying) constitute as lying? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Deema +, writes (11 April 2008):
 It's deception, and deception is the same to me as lying. Its falsifying, not telling the whole story possibly to manipulate, hoping the other person won't find out. I've just been deceived myuself, so I know this to be true. And it hurts. Best wishes.
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 The question that you asked about the boyfriend sleeping with his ex IS deception. He hasn't been truthful at all and is cheating on her.
There are plenty of sites if you google "Sin of Omission". It's called that because it isn't technically a lie that come out of your mouth, but it isn't telling the truth either. Those clever Catholics have a term for EVERY Sin. It's why I'm a lapsed-Catholic! Lol!
I think that if the omission is just covering your own ass and hurting someone else, then this is where the sin is being committed. Are you benefitting from something being withheld? If your not telling someone else's truth, well that up to them to disclose. It's fair to say that the whole point of the discussion is that a person either has a conscience or they don't. The boyfriend obviously had no conscience at all and was deliberately hurting his girlfriend.
Would you call it a lie or an omission if you failed to disclose something to your Doctor? The only person that you're lying to is yourself, in this case!
Needless to say, when I was a practicing Catholic, I spent MORE than my fair share of time in the confessional...
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reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle +, writes (3 April 2008):
Dipsydoodlenoodle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh I completely agree with you Dazzerg. To be honest I think it depends upon the context at which the "assumption" is taking place. Like I said it's an interesting discussion for different peoples points of views :-)
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reader, Dazzerg +, writes (3 April 2008):
 I don't agree Dipsy...if you want to see the world in very black and white terms then it is true that 'everything is not the truth is a lie' but in reality there are always differing shades of grey in-between black and white.
Consider this example;
A couple are dating and he or she doesnt mention his relationship past at all...is this a lie or just good housekeeping?? Usually that amount of disclosure is kept until later in the relationship when the bonds of trust and intimacy are firmly established...and thats all well and good. After all early-on full disclosure can lead to relationship breakdown as people become scared their other half is a bit full-on. It can cause major insecurity and loss of confidence in the relationship if it turns out your current partner has a promiscious past.
Leaving something like that to a point where people feel mutually comfortable with the topic is not lying or a conspiricy and should not be judged as such.
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female
reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle +, writes (3 April 2008):
Dipsydoodlenoodle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLol it was more a discussion question. Everything every one has said is true, I was just interested in other peoples points of views on the matter. As Allenrobin said it is not lying…but it is not telling the truth. This didn’t happen to me its an example your bf goes to visit his ex, and tells you he saw her and that he stayed for a couple of hours. Where in reality he did, but he didn’t mention he slept with her, yet you assumed he didn’t as he didn’t mention it, it’s not a lie is it not? – I’m not asking for an argument, it’s just my point of view. As Ask Oldersister states, anything which alters the truth is a lie – which the above statement does!
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reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle +, writes (3 April 2008):
Dipsydoodlenoodle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLol this is interesting. The thing is everything that has been said here is true. It was more a discussion question. As Allenrobin said it is "not lying" but its not telling the truth, so is it lying? as askoldersister stated!
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 Thanks for that post, a1605. So this person said you didn't get the right information because you didn't ask the right questions. Wow! I suppose you never stop learning.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Yes, i know someone just like that, yes it is bloody lying, so stop now.
take care
xx
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (2 April 2008):
Allenrobin, that's surely because you've never been in the situation when someone "fails to mention" something, and you discover the truth later. Trust me on this one (wink).
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reader, allenrobin  +, writes (2 April 2008):
 I guess I will be the oddball here! I wouldn't call that lying per se.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): It depends on the consequences. If it ended badly, or caused a lot of pain or hurt, then I would say it was a pretty bad lie. But otherwise, I'm not sure it counts as lying.. This is a good question, certainly making me use my brain! I'm still not sure it's lying, but it's bad enough. Nobody should just expect to get away with it, because in a way, it IS lying a bit..
Sorry if I just confused things :]
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reader, brooke5426 +, writes (2 April 2008):
 It probably differs person to person but I would say that letting someone believe something you know to be untrue is a lie. Whether you have lead them to believe it or let them believe it.
But it depends on the context. Birdy gave you good advice. Not telling them that what they have assumed to be true is wrong because its better for them to not know is one thing, not telling them because it'll land you in hot water is different.
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (2 April 2008):
I will add that omitting something and letting the person reach his/her own conclusions can upset a person much more than a lie. Not only because you mislead, but also because you make the other person live in a delusion.
Honesty is the best policy. Indeed.
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reader, Dazzerg +, writes (2 April 2008):
Birdy has it about right..you have to make a clear distinction because lying is to consciously mislead someone while you cannot entirely hold somebody responsible for assumptions that ultimately you make.
Technically it is not lying and you have to remember that there are limits to how much disclosure you can expect, especially in the early stages of a relationship so I would tend to be a little more fogiving of this than an outright lie. Hope that helps :)
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reader, birdynumnums +, writes (2 April 2008):
Hmmmmm.
It is called a "sin of omission". It's the thing that you can and should do, but don't. Although it isn't technically lying, it isn't being honest or truthful either.
A "little white lie" is something else. That is a lie that your tell in order to not hurt someone else, as in "I love your new purse (not)." or "Of course I don't think he's cheating on you (if it's not your place to tell).". Hope this helped!
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