A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hi my moms new boyfriend told me that i have Lolita syndrome and i better fix it before he is alone with me. is that some sort of disease? could he catch it from me? should i tell my mom so i can get checked? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): Tell your Mom as soon as possible what her boyfriend has said to you. Then tell a teacher or some other adult you trust.
Do NOT allow yourself to be alone with this man.
You don't have a disease ... but his brain is messed up and he needs an adult to speak to him about it.
Mum-of-4,
Scotland.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (26 December 2008):
 ANSWER FROM MOD:
All the mods try to accept all KINDS of answers, we just have to use our judgment to decide if the advice is offensive, too vulgar or just plain unhelpful. There may be a difference of opinion as to what can be called offensive, vulgar or unhelpful, but mods just have to do their best. We're all just volunteering our time to try and help everyone!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): Stop trying to seduce your mom's boyfriend. If you want to explore your sexuality, that's really best done with a friend your own age.
NOTE TO MOD:
On the About page it states:
If you ask a question on DearCupid.ORG you don't just get one answer and one point of view. You get a wide range of answers from people with different life experiences and different point of views. We think this is much more helpful.
Is this true, or are only the answers that agree with the point of view of the mod approved?
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A
female
reader, MutantKitten  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 You need to tell someone you trust about this right now.Tell your mum, your teacher, a police officer, gramma, grampa, someone.If someone doesn't believe you, tell someone else! Keep telling people until they take you seriously.This man might be dangerous and want to hurt you. You haven't done anything wrong, but you should stay away from him!You sound like a smart girl so I know you'll do the right thing by talking to a responsible adult.Good luck, honey!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): lolita is a film based on a peadophille...i suggest you tell your mother so she can keep this scary man away from you. do not be left alone with him
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): This question has me worried for you! Please follow the advice everyone has given you! And if by chance you don't get the support that you need from your Mom...Tell a teacher or another adult that you trust! I don't know your Mom. So as I said, If you need to tell someone else...that's Okay too!
Please let us all know how this all goes! We will be waiting to hear from you. Stay Safe!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Hi Honeypie,
After you talk to your mum, don't forget to come back and tell us how it went. We are all wishing you well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): This guy is sick and dangerous for you. Your mother might be on pink clouds and not able to think clear. You should tell here and according to her reaction act to protect yourself.Calling to an information line for childeren and ask how to act could be an option.If you were my daughter, I would be proud on you if you went to the police to mention this situation. Take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Be careful and i mean real careful as i was almost raped by my mums bf and he was saying creepy stuff like your eyes are like the sky so full of grace and beauty and other things like that i thought it was all innocent and found out the horrible way tell your mum and go to the police NOW he is a preditor trust it from one who has been there
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Dear Poster
You are a very wise girl to have asked this question and to get information.
As the previous to posters already advised you, it is very IMPORTANT that you talk to your mom and tell her what he said to you; BUT please AVOID BEING ALONE in the house WITH HIM at all times; and tell your mom you need to talk to her alone and in private as soon as possible.
Remember we are here for you all the time; fee free to talk to us if something is worrying you.
Keep us posted. Lots of smiles to YOU!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Yes Daniel, this dosen't seem good at all...
Are you acting appropriately with this man. He is not your father, he is not your uncle, he is your mums boyfriend so you should behave as if he's a friendly stranger, like one of your friends father's at school.
Lolita was a young girl in a book. Her mother's boyfriend fell in love with her, but he claimed that it was her fault, cause she kept looking and flirting with him.
Make sure you are always appropriately dressed when you are with him. It's probably best if you are not alone with him, just like he asked. It is very important that you tell your mother what he said. It may be a joke, but it's not very funny and he may be having real problems. For now, I suggest that you don't touch him, and actually keep your distance from him. He is an adult, but he's getting some funny ideas. Tell your mother what he said, she needs to know, she will explain the term to you, and she will deal with it, because you don't know what to do.
It's ok babes, just go and talk to your mother, and she will sort everything out for you.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (10 December 2008):
Lolita was a character in a book.
She was 12 and seduced much older men. He's saying you are acting sexily and he's sexually attracted to you.
Tell your mother.
The word Lolita is usually now associated with child porn for a reason.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 December 2008):
 This sounds dangerous. The "Lolita syndrome" was how people used to describe the seduction of older men by younger women. This is a way to say "she made me do it". It's true that sometimes young girls want to sleep with older men, but that does not mean older men shouldn't know better.
I think you should tell your mom exactly what he told you. You can't deal with this on your own; you're too young. I'm afraid that he's saying that he finds you sexually attractive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): No it's not a disease and you don't need to be checked for anything. "Lolita" is a very old movie at which an older man became infatuated with a pre-teen girl. What he said to you was disrespectful, out of line and inappropriate. I think the best thing for you to do is to tell your mother EXACTLY what he told you and tell him to back off. Don't ever be alone with him.
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