A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When we first met my instinct told me loud and clear that he was trouble but he was also very attractive and after hanging out a couple of times the sexual tension grew so strong that I couldn't help but giving in to the temptation. We started dating. Shortly after hell broke loose in his world, he lost his place and had to move into my apartment. Oddly enough the next 6 months were wonderful. I say oddly enough because he did not have a job nor did he seem interested enough in getting one. .........There were stressful moments. I would be confused and scared but he would show so much care and love that I resigned myself to give it a real shot despite adversity. I really did all I could and started working crazy hours to support the two of us. He finally got a job and also went back to college as he never had the opportunity to finish his studies. This is when all started falling apart. Our schedules were so off and even though I asked him to make time for us, he chose not too. I got sick. Ended in the hospital. He came with me.... blah blah blah....months later I find an email from him to a much younger girl that he could not make it to the appointment because he had to pick up A FRIEND from the Hospital. That friend was me, his girlfriend at the time. Along with that email I found others that kinda gave away that his interest and focus was shifting. One night he got a call from a girl at 2 am and that's when I finally asked him to leave. We did not talk for months after that. One day though, while my mother was visiting from Europe, we run into each other and ended up giving our relationship another shot. Things did not go too well. Especially after mom left. We only had sex once during those 3 months that we were back together and when he finally admitted that he had had sex with that girl he refused to talk to me about it to make me feel confident that it would not happen again. I got sick again. Had surgery. One week later he started dating another woman.... THE PROBLEM is, like before he never told me this. I ended up finding out much later. Every time we had been apart he has made me believe he was so heart broken while he was fucking all these other chicks all along. I hate him but I loved him so much. He stumped on my self esteem so many times and I allowed it to happen. For god's sake, I begged him for the truth and looking into my eyes he told me everything was a fruit of my imagination. He was speechless when he went back to his computer and avideo of this girl having sex with him was playing in the background....SICK SHIT. I still don't know why I put up with it. Why I trusted the guy. He is good at manipulating situations and has an angel face that would easily fool anybody but MAN I knew deep down that he was full of it. He is contacting me again now. Sending emails every so often to check on me and show care and concern. Ha! Today I replied for the first time with a "I see. Take care...." He wrote back and I replied to please leave me alone a that I have lost all interest in him and his games. He just emailed me again! What does he want? I don't want to change my email address and could easily delete his mails without reading them but something inside is still waiting for the "I am so sorry"... What can I do to erase him from my memory? To lose this wish for a heart felt apology? I often find myself wallowing in self pity over what I allowed myself to endure. Sorry for the long txt and thanks for your input/ I have a
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cheated on me, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Je T'aime, moi non plus +, writes (26 May 2010):
Hello everybody and thank you so much for your responses. Right after I wrote this last night, I have gotten 2 additional emails. It is like my request to leave me alone does not register in his head.
I did it though. I just let go of my email address of 10 years.
I know this might be temporary, but having gotten rid of all that info clutter is making me feel somewhat free or at least closer to freedom. Thanks again for your support!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 May 2010):
 I'm guessing he is in between women, and likes to see just how good he is a jerking people around, After all when he yells jump, you start to jump your ass off. And you don't even know why.
1. change your phone number, email address, block him from any and all social websites and maintain a NO CONTACT. Don't talk to him, write, text... Just pretend he fell of the planet.
2. YOU know he's not good for you or to you.
3. Take the time and think about WHY you let him take advantage of you.
4. TRUST your gut instinct, we have them for a reason.
5. Good luck & accept that you DO deserve better!
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A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (25 May 2010):
 have you asked him why hes writing you? tell him to cut the crap. or you could just send him to the spam section or change your email addy(even though i know you dont want to). its hard but its better than putting yourself through heartache.Maybe he knows he could come back to you/that you care..which is why hes writing...shutting him out completely would be the best.
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (25 May 2010):
you are waiting for an apology which will never come and even if it does how do you know it is sincere. rather than just deleteing the emails without reading them I think you should put a block on his email address because then you wont see them at all and you wont be tempted to read them anyway.
until you cut this man from your life you will never be able to move on fully.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Hun, you will never get an apology from this guy, he is so overwhelmed by his cleverness at fooling you!!
If you dont want to change your email address, then delete his messages as soon as you see them in your inbox, avoid taking any calls from him.
Look on what has happened to you as a lesson - next time you will be much wiser if a guy starts with his nonsense. He is the jerk and you need to remember that you are not to blame for the way in which he behaved.
As with any relationship, it takes time to get over that person, take up a new hobby or go out and meet new people, each day will get easier as time goes past.
Honeygirl
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010): This guy sounds like a manipulator. Guys with mommy issues tend to do this. Life catches up with users and especially liers, fret not my friend. You do not need an apology, you need to run away fro hiM fast and far. People like these drain others out of their life energy. DO NOT TALK TO HIM AGAIN. Good luck to you darling
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 You'll never have your heart felt apology ,or if you do,it will be just empty words as usual- because you can bet he is not sorry at all. You know him. He has no empathy, in fact he is probably very smug and pleased with himself for being such a cool player that is so good at making a fool out of decent people.
I dont'know what does he want from you now- maybe more money- maybe a booty call- maybe just the satisfaction to know that he still has a powerful hold on you.
Whatever he wants- it's not something that you need to give him.
So DO change your e-mail address,it's worth the trouble. And block his phone. You won't have to use will strength if you just prevent him from contacting you.
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A
female
reader, cindy 15 +, writes (25 May 2010):
 this guy is useing u u deserve waaay much more then him he is usein u as a door mat
you deserve way better and you can do much better
keep it strong u may have feelings for him still but u WILL find someone better to erase them feelings
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A
female
reader, golddustlady123 +, writes (25 May 2010):
I think he loves you but in a selfish way! He is a cheater and seems to always will be a cheater, I had the same situation the father of my child cheated on me and pretty much lived a double life and of course he wants me back but you can never trust them again after that. If there is no trust in the relationship than there is no point being together my best advice to you is to tell him to eff off! You deserve better!!!!
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