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Does this nice guy want me as a girlfriend or as 'friends with benefits'?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 May 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 May 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *olddustlady123 writes:

Well about a year ago my best friend introduced me to this guy. We have gone out quite a few times nothing serious nor did anything ever happen. He is shy and an all around good guy, good job, doesn't drink or smoke. It is obvious that we are attracted to each other about 3 weeks ago he came over to my house and hung out with me and gave me a 2 hour massage nothing happened. So this past weekend we hung out again this time I went to his house we watched tv and he gave me a massage this time things happened we fooled around but not intercourse. We did talk tonight and we talked about the other night and sex got mentioned he told me he didn't want to push sex because he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable he then asked even though we aren't dating would you still do it. I told him I don't have sex with random people. He then replied am I a random person? I said no of course not what I am getting at is that I don't sleep around and he said gotcha that's very respectable of you. I did tell him if it happened that night I wouldn't of stopped it. So my question is does he look at me as a friend with benefits now? I like him but now I guess I should stop feelings so I don't get hurt.

View related questions: best friend, friend with benefits, shy

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A female reader, golddustlady123 United States +, writes (25 May 2010):

golddustlady123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh my gosh thank you guys for all the positive feed back.It is just that I have been burned bad by guys especially with my ex whom I had a 6 year relationship with. I am just scared. He is a really good guy and I want to do everything right. So thank you for the advice!

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A female reader, straight to the truth United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2010):

maybe you should ask him if he wants to start dating, dont go as far as sex for a while to see where it goes but if you like this guy the ask him out. if he says he sees you as just a friend then keep it on a friend level and stopped with anything intimate.

you will end up with either a great friendship that never gets confused with sex, or a boyfriend who will respect you fot not being easy or for being a friend with benefits.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (25 May 2010):

Honeygirl agony auntHun, stick around with this guy, he sounds like he respects you and enjoys your company.

If he was only with you for sex, he probably would have dumped you after you refused sex with him.

So take things slow and see where they progress. Maybe he feels that he would like to get to know you before getting really serious.

He sounds like a really nice chap, so hang in there!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2010):

The trick is to take your time getting to know him. Generally, a man who wants to have nothing but sex will not hang around after a while. So spend more time getting to know him, going out on dates and such, and see where it leads. He does seem like a decent enough guy, but only taking time getting to know him will answer your question. It's a chance you have to take, but you'll know over time where you stand with him.

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