A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Been with my spouse for 5 years now, but he has cheated in the past. However the past year he has been the worst to me and put me through an extreme amount of hurt. He cheated twice this year but not just gone and slept with some one he's left our family twice for 2 women he didn't know. I've asked why what was so special about these women, neither were pretty had nothing good going for them. Is it just for sex. What does he get from being with them rather than our son and me? He doesn't see our son or contact me while he's gone. I feel like while I have an emotional melt down he's having fun because he's with some one else and isn't alone like me to think of my son or me. You never get answers when I ask so I can't cope with what he's done Having many unanswered ? I been amazing to him and he's admitted it. Yet he continues to hurt me by cheating on me. Now he says he's not talking to anyone else but I found #s he said were deleted, he fights with me all the time, he's always gone I just feel like he's been up to something. I want to know if he's cheating again and I've asked him but he says no. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 This guy is a big zero. To take a wild guess, I'd assume he's cheating on you again. It appears you have a spineless creep for a husband.
He isn't prepared to step up and set a decent example for your son and is completely irresponsible towards his relationship with you.
He is weak willed, has no strength, no dignity, no self control and probably doesn't even realise that he is completely degrading himself.
Have you noticed that each time you have him back, he loses progressively more respect for you? Take your self respect back but not him.
Get as far away as you can from this loser and let him ruin his own life all alone. It seems that he is perfectly capable of doing that much.
It's a pity that you can't get a refund on this one.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): He gets a wifey that stays put no matter how much he cheats on her and treats her wrong. no ramifications for his actions and no matter what he does you stay amazing to him so why would he be different? he won't is your answer. You want your son to be just like him? treat women like garbage just because you stay to figure out his pscyhology? two deadbeat parents=one screwed up womanizer in the making.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Leave. Leave him. Leave him and do not look back. I am seriously questioning why you are even still with this guy after all the emotional abuse he has put you and your son through. Don't let him do that to you anymore.
I know it's really hard, but there is someone out there who will treat you a lot better and will love you and your son and be there for you. It sounds like he is incapable of long term committment, I don't understand how you have stayed with him for so long, you're stronger than me that's for sure.
It's not fair to you or your son to keep putting yourselves through this, he needs to go or you need to leave, one or the other.
He is out having sex with other women while you are at home taking care of your guys' son and your home and everything. He has a bachelor's life but he also has the priveledge of a wonderful woman at home who he thinks will never leave him, so prove him wrong.
You and your son deserve so much better. Someone who is going to love you as much you two love him, someone who will be there for you and will stay faithful. It's time for change. Make the change.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life living this way, you only have one life, live it how you want to.
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A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 So your question is what does he get from being with them. Actually you should be asking yourself what do you get from being with him? A whole lot of hurt and disrespect would be the answer! He is never going to change, why would he when you've allowed him to get away with this appauling behaviour? Do you really want this man to be your sons role model? He will pick up on his fathers behaviour towards you as he gets older, is that the example you want set for him or do you want him to learn to treat women respectfully?
You don't need to be wondering if he's cheating again and asking him...you know he is! I can't understand why you'd still be with this man and allowing him to walk all over you like this.
Sure you probably still love him, it's tough being a single mum etc but surely it's better than living your life like this? You have your son and that's the most important thing. I think when you finally pluck up the courage to walk away from this disaster relationship you'll be a lot happier than you imagined you could be.
Believe me, I know what I'm talking about because he sounds not unlike my ex! You can make a better life for yourself, you just need a little confidence and self reapest first. I wish you loads of luck.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Do you like living in misery - if not then why hold onto it because this is your life your chosing to live for you and your child. The trust has gone....
In a way you have given him permission to have sex outside of the relationship because you stay with him , he knows you will always be there when he tires of the other women. Personally I would either move or pack his bags, place them outside with a note saying No More ! this has to stop - change the locks and kick him out.
He is a gutless selfish bastard, he is living a single life without responsibillites, must be great to be able to come and go without worrying about anything, come on its time to be a woman and stop letting yourself be abused mentally.
If you cannot do it for yourself do it for your child.
Its time to get real.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Let me ask you this. In your gut do you feel he's cheating? Yes or No... There's your answer.
My question is: what the hell are you doing? Do you think you are worth that little to allow him to keep walking all over you. It almost seems like your his secretary, to stay at home and take messages while he's spending the night with other women. He left you twice for women he didn't know. Who cares what the reason is? Do you see a pattern here? From what you've written, your home is like a dumping ground where he just hangs his hat in between other women. What really sucks too. Your son is watching this. Every time dad leaves, then comes back, your son is learning that this is how to properly have a relationship, and treat women. There is absolutely nothing okay about how you are being treated. What's worse is you stay to allow yourself to be treated the same way all over again. You are the only one who can put a stop to it. Apparently he's not on bored to try to make this marriage work. You really do deserve so much better than what you have been getting.
Change is hard, but you are past time from making it. I do not want you and your son to be treated like yesterdays trash again. It's not right, you deserve better and your son needs a home where he can learn how to treasure the woman he's with when he grows up. The only way this will happen is for you to eventually find a guy who's there for both of you and that there is no place he'd rather be than home with you and your son. That is what you deserve and nothing less. You need to tell yourself that and believe it. There is nothing more true here than you deserving so much better than how your husband has been treating you and your son.
I hope this helps. Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Leave him, you WILL find someone better. It may take time but you don't constantly want to be hurt do you? Do you want your son to think this behaviour is acceptable? Eventually he will be old enough to realise that daddy always leaves mummy.
I don't mean to sound harsh but you deserve so much better and he seems to do what he pleases knowing you'll take him back no matter what. I mean what kind of man leaves his son for other women at the drop of a hat and treats the mother of his child so badly.
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