What do I do with these feelings?

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been married for 4.5 years and have a daughter that is almost a year old. My marriage has often been very rocky. We separated once and reconciled then became pregnant. Only recently has my husband truly started to turn into a man worth being married to. I loved him so much previously that I accepted how unlovable he often was and admitted to being.prior to this marriage I was with someone for 6 years that treated me horribly for all but 2. Here is the dilemma: I recently came across a man I met in college when I was in my prior relationship. I have not had any contact with him but have a bit of access to surface information about him. When we met he pursued me openly. I really liked him but didn't want to jeopardize the relationship that I was in at the time. At that time it was still good. Great even. But I never put him out of my mind.when he eralized I was serious about maintaining my relationship which at that time was long distance, he left me alone. Over the years he became increasingly popular and kept company with people that weren't really my type. I never considered picking back up with him when my on off relationship was off (quite frequently) because I thought he had become out of my league and I wasn't his type. But now, with access to this new information, I see why he pursued me so heavily. I had a lot about him wrong and now feel that he may actually be my ideal. Many of his qualities I was unaware of because I didn't let myself act inappropriately with him since I was in a relationship. And now I'm completely fixated on him. Even though my husband seems to be making huge advances, I don't trust he is genuine or that the change is permanent. All I can think of us this man I haven't seen in years. Looking back (hindsight is 20 20) I can see he was actually still interested all those years. What do I do with these feelings?

View related questions: long distance

Reply to this Question

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, Ted-ster  +, writes (31 December 2008):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, eddie  +, writes (31 December 2008):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, tanpopo  +, writes (31 December 2008):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer