A
male
age
30-35,
*omplex
writes:Ok so here it is. I am 19 and I hav a big problem. I have a very big social complex. I have been to everything from therapists to the Bible. I have even been recently saved about three weeks ago, because the pastor says that it may be a fight for my mind with the devil. I cannot communicate with people how I want to and it gets really depressing and frustrating. Everything i try works for a while but always goes back to the same depression and fear of being judged...This has eventually led to the withdrawal from friends. Many people who have known me hardly talk to me anymore because I act "personal" or "stuck up". The only girls I can get are the ones that I am not interested in. My confidence level is at a big 0. People who I tell this too say that they cannot believe this because I am a very handsome young man. Girls say they love my eyes and smile. lol. But I am just soooo afraid of scrutiny that I cant even carry on a conversation w/o getting worried about what they will think of me next. I was on Paxil but that still has not helped so i stopped taking it. Is there any help out there for me?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): If you are actually suffering from social anxiety disorder then you can't just decide on your own to stop taking medication that was prescribed. Obviously your doctor thinks that you will benefit from medication. Go back to the doctor, tell him your concerns, they need to try a different medication or a combination of medications.
With mental disorders like depression and anxiety, not all pills work the same for all people, and the only way to find what works is to try them and make adjustments....so absolutely there is help for you, so go back to the doctor.
Also, talk therapy may be in order along with the medications....do both at the same time, not first one and then the other.....let the doctor tell you when you can quit....if you quit on your own, you aren't willing to do the work to get better....and it is work, but if you want to be better and feel better it is the only solution for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): komplex, you say have had therapy and it has not helped. I cannot add much, probably. This is not an uncommon problem. Many people have "social complexes". It mostly comes from a feeling of inadequacy and feeling that others are judging you for them when, in fact, they know no such thing about you. All they see is what you present as a person. If you are withdrawn, they only think you have no interest in them or want to know them. They probably have their own self-concept problems. Most people your age do. Many people are naturally very open and accepting of others. Others are naturally more reserved. But my advice is to try and understand that no one is "judging" you. How could they if they know nothing about you? I would try and work on being more open and friendly with people you come into contact with. Just a smile and hello and "How are you?" can make someone else's day. And it is fine to just be a good listener when people talk to you about themselves. But, they have to feel you are interested. And do not sell yourself short. You are obviously intelligent and have a lot going for you. Take some pride in your abilities, whatever they are and be willing to talk about your interests to others. Best wishes. Tom
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): It seems like you're feeling hopeless. I don't know the details, but maybe you should think about yourself. Really think about why you're feeling the way you are and what it is that makes you feel that. Why is your confidence level so low? Why are you so scared of being judged? Whenever I feel shitty I think about why it is that I am feeling this way, and what I can do to help myself. Be selfish for a while, take care of YOURSELF. Think about YOURSELF, not what OTHERS think of you. I think there could be help I think you need to want to be helped. Good luck. I really hope you find the help you are looking for. :)
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