A
male
age
30-35,
*amzy
writes:my question is very simple and small that I have broke up with my gf last night in a legal way ....now I don't know what shud I do with the expensive old gifts she gave me....should I through them out so that I cud fully forget her
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male
reader, Hamzy +, writes (27 September 2014):
Hamzy is verified as being by the original poster of the question I thanks frnds for suggesting such great ideas and I finally have decided not to keep them and the hurdle is that she don't allow to return her gifts bck to her...now will donate or find any way to keep them away....Ince again thanks
A
male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (25 September 2014):
 If it's expensive, return it to them. If it's not then keep or give it away.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (25 September 2014):
 What concerns me is that you & your gf only broke up last night, although in a legal way.
May i ask, Why the rush to get rid of all her expensive gifts so soon?
Ok, i understand that within every culture, things are done differently, however, 1 thing remains pretty much the same, within every culture on planet earth & that my friend, is love!!
You were both obviously in love with each other, for her to have showered you with lavish &/or expensive gifts & i am certain that most people would agree when i say, love, however, weak or strong, doesn't just die, nor dissepate overnight?!
That thought is just insane & perhaps you should continue hanging onto yr exs gifts, just incase the two of you have a change of heart, which often happens to thousands upon thousands of couples every day.
Please think about this carefully, prior to making your final decision.
I do not mean to sound harsh, nor rude, but you sound quite bitter & spiteful.
I don't know the exact details pertaining to your break up obviously & of course it's none of my business, but as you've come onto this site, requiring some friendly advice, i feel it necessary to air my own opinions & thoughts regarding what you have stated.
Ultimately, the decision is obviously yours, however, please think more rationally & carefully about your sudden & immediate urge to get rid of all her gifts so, so soon.
I can tell you from experience & from having spoken to thousands of clients, as a qualified Counsellor, most people who have been in love, would not be willing to part with their exs gifts so very soon after a break up, although no two people are the same.
This should be the last thing on your mind for the time being & as previous readers have said, what she has given to you as gifts,should remain so.
You are under no obligation to give any of them back to her & if she asks for them back, you can always give them back, or you can choose to hand onto them, sell them, keep them, whatever takes your fancy.
You are not even obligated to say anything to her, regarding her gifts, or you may choose to tell her that since she chose to give them to you, they now belong to you.
We, as humans can change our minds in a split second, so if you did decide to get rid of all these gifts for cash, for the sake of forgetting her & moving on, whatever, if you did wish to give your relationship another go/chance, she would never forgive you for what you'd done.
Please think about that too & have a heart, when doing so.
Remember, she is human & she is going through the same pain as you right now, regardless of what occurred within both families.
At the end of the day, regardless of your cultural practices & beliefs, you were both in love, you are both human & you both have feelings.
It is not about who thinks or believes they are right, or even better, it is about love, pure & simple.
Remember those words, "RESPECT". :-)
You get what you give & acting so harshly so soon, may come across as quite cold & vengeful.
Good Luck!!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 September 2014):
 Once gifts are given , they become your property and there's no obligation ,legal or moral, to give them back, unless it's the engagement ring or other objects donated in connection to an engagement ( a pact,basically... ) which then was broken.
If you don't want to see those gifts around as a painful remonder, you can regift them to people who might need them, or sell them and keep the cash, or sell them and donate the money to charities... you can do what you want, basically, but why THROWING OUT good, expensive stuff ??!
As a matter of fact, maybe the simplest things is that you just lock the items away out of sight, in some drawer or wardrobe etc., for the time being... you won't feel all your life so heartbroken about the break up, trust me . The day will come when you will be able to look at those items with serene indifference.
The above , unless you ex ASKS for her presents back. Mind you, she would have no right to do so - it's YOUR stuff, now.
But... " noblesse oblige "; if she wants to be spiteful ( I hope this is not the case ), then just let her have her way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2014): It's really up to you. I don't know what happened in your break up but here are your choices. Keep them in a box for memories later on. Keep wearing/using them if they are clothes/jewelery etc. and it doesn't upset you. Sell them or donate to charity. I wouldn't give them back, for some reason it doesn't seem right unless maybe you are making a statement. I did sell some things my x gave me, others I have kept and still use, such as an expensive gps that I can't live without. I have kept diamond jewelry given to me but I no longer wear it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2014): For me, I sold/gave away everything…expect for letters. I set those on fire :)
No point in having unnecessary reminders around!!
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (25 September 2014):
 I would also make exceptions for cars or houses as gifts. Those I'd offer back. But jewelry, trinkets, or blankets or CD's or computers or ipads...eh.
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A
female
reader, SeaGreen  +, writes (25 September 2014):
 Either return them to your Ex or donate them. Holding on to them can cause you more pain in the long run because it's a reminder of her.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (24 September 2014):
If the gifts were very expensive or were intended to symbolise the relationships permanance (such as an engagement ring) then you should offer to return them. Give a her a couple of weeks to think about this if you can.
If they were not particularly expensive (or she doesn't want them back) you can dispose of them as you see fit.
Rather than throwing stuff away you can recyle it - either as gifts to other people or donate it to a charity shop or auction so that other people can benefit from them or the money they raise.
If you don't feel particularly altruistic. I don't see what's wrong with selling them on ebay (or similar) and pocketing the cash. But if you chose that option I suggest you keep it quiet and don't make it known to your ex that you're selling it - you run the risk of looking bitter and twisted otherwise.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 September 2014):
Gifts are gifts, unless we're talking about an engagement ring. If she is your ex, and everything is done, then don't have any more contact with her, including giving gifts back, which may hurt her even more.
Don't throw them out if they're expensive. Sell them, or re-gift them, but NOT to a new girlfriend. Donate them, or their value, to a charity maybe?? Sell them and take the money to give to a group like the Red Cross or to a food shelf or whatever.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 September 2014):
 If they were expensive, send them back to her maybe? I think that is a nicer way to find closure then throw good stuff out.
However, returning (or trashing) gifts doesn't mean you will instantaneously forget her. You probably will never forget her as she was PART of your life, but you can eventually PUT your memories of her in you past and behind you.
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