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What do girls really mean when they say "size doesn't matter"?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2010) 16 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

For just about the majority of my life, I've heard all about that "bigger is better" stuff.

Well I'm pretty much 18 now and I'm convinced that I won't be growing down there anymore since it's been that way since I was 12.

Mine is 4.5 inches long, and 3.9 inches in girth when erect so its very short and thin. The fact that even just the -average- is a lot bigger than me is making me feel so worried and insecure..

My friends were making fun of my size once and all I could do was just sit there being quiet and feeling ashamed. Thinking back on that, I feel too embarrassed to do anything sexual with a girl 'cause I'm afraid of what she'll think. I'm even more worried that a girl will think I don't "measure up" enough for her, or even make fun of me and dump me over it...

Some girls have told me "size doesn't matter", but what's the truth in that? Because most other girls have told that size matters a lot. I don't know what to think anymore so...What do you think?

Am I fine or am I not?

And be TOTALLY honest, please.

Don't tell me something just to make me feel better...

I want to know the truth and I want to know what I can do so I won't feel so insecure about myself.

View related questions: insecure

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A female reader, kandykane United States +, writes (30 March 2010):

well, i say youre okay

My boyfriends is 6 inches

thats a little small compared to what Im used to

but i dont care ^_^

its all about what you do with it

a girl wouldnt like if u commented on her

and a lot of guys accept female flaws

so girls should do the same

its not a big deal

its okay (:

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010):

Don't feel bad pal, your about the same as me and i ain't worried, you got what you given and thats all there is to it..

Anyone complains you tell them you didn't realize you was throwing your sausage down an allyway and get out cause people arn't worth it, eventually you will find someone you love and the whole thing will slip your mind trust me, and another thing, to determin the "average" size a certain number of men would have to have been messured, so look at it this way, would people like you and me ignore the dignity we was born with and go? I think not, it would be all the confident, dare i say big headed people that would of gone showing off, so people that are a little insicure wouldn't of been messured, so it's a load of rubbish buddy, trust me..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010):

Question poster here again.

@Polaroid93

Yeah I looked up that website and now I feel even worse.

That site basically said "Girls lie, it matters, you're small, might as well suicide."

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A female reader, Polaroid93 United Kingdom +, writes (3 March 2010):

Look for the penis size debate on google. Size matters. But it's not all that matters

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (3 March 2010):

Miamine agony auntHere look at this website.. http://www.the-penis.com/size1.html

We women don't go around studying every dick in the world. We are not doctors, mostly we think a dick is a dick, some are bigger, some are longer, but they all mostly look the same.

To tell the truth, we aint even thinking about your dicks that much, we are too busy worrying about ourselves and thinking "Is my ass fat, why have I got small breasts, I wish I was skinny, blah, blah, blah...."

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010):

Question Poster here...

@VocalsAndRhythmGuitarist

That's the difference, you're just about average at 6".

Mine is both SHORT and THIN at 4.5" x 4", considering the average is what, 6" x 5.5"?

I feel like I'm not even adequate enough to pull off those "techniques.", I'm worried I'd end up putting my penis inside her as much as I can and she'd be like "I can't feel it, is it in?".

As for oral. Perhaps I could learn that, but what happens when she's tired of it and wants a change?

And go for it with the link, eh. I don't have a user name here so just go and e-mail it to me or something. [email address blocked] :/

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (2 March 2010):

bharat mehta agony auntJust as in intellectual field, there is no mathematical relationship as more height means more intelligent, So is with sexual performance. It is childish desire to see it as 'big', but 'bigger is better' is not a exact formula that say something as absolute truth.

Love making is art, and art depend upon talent of a person, one has developed. I have heard some female's saying, that her lover bring her to orgasm, seer by touching !!! Her lover was novelist. A good artist.

Eroticism is more complicated subject, so complicated that one is required to be a talented artist. It is good for you and for every one, who wish to be good lover, then learn the secret of 'erotic love making'.

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A female reader, maddiee-maii United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2010):

well i am a girl and to be honest i would say it is how u use it not the size and i dont mean to sound like a slag/slut whatever

but at the end of the day if this person loves u then she wouldent care

and if u are bad the first time practice makes perfect and thats part of the fun

good luckk xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010):

There are girls out there who do believe the 'bigger is better' phrase. And some girls it will be a deal breaker. if it is that for them - remember that they are NOT worth knowing. You deserve better. A girl will like you for what you have

And honestly bigger is NOT better. Big can hurt like hell. It is not enjoyable and most positions you can not do.

id go average any time. im thankful my bf is. He might like to be bigger of course! lol but he's perfect the way he is.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010):

It means that the first couple of inches leading in from the outside of the vaginal area are where all the nerves are that give them every great sensation. Most of them are lying when they say it doesn't matter, because alot of sex is psychological for most women, and the more it appears your dick will seemingly stretch their pussy or appear to be too big to fit it all in, the more excited and hot the girl will be..it's like a bonus. This is because on top of orgasming, and the ability to repeatedly orgasm and have more than one type of orgasm at the same time, if a woman isn't too into it psychologically, they will not have as great a time as if they're right into it. Guys are like that too, but we're programmed a little different, and it doesn't matter as much, psychologically, to be able to reach amazing orgasms.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010):

Just to add to what the others have said: most women don't orgasm just from penetration, it's the other stuff - oral, foreplay - that count. I find it feels good as long as it's not too big as to be painful.

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A female reader, Hard_decision Australia +, writes (1 March 2010):

Size doesnt matter Ill tell you that much. As long as the guy is confident and knows what he is doing, then size doesnt come into play. Ive been with a guy who had a fairly large penis however the sex was bad because he didnt know how to use it properly... Ive also slept with a guy who was around your size maybe smaller..and my god he gave me the best orgasm Id ever had up until that point.. So dont worry so much on size hun, women say it all the time but dont take it seriously..

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A male reader, HarryFlashman United States +, writes (1 March 2010):

From a guy: What they really mean is that its what you do that counts. If your technique is good, you will be able to satisfy women with 4.5" just fine. The average is maybe 5" anyhow -- believe me, the half inch isn't going to make you or break you. Concentrate on being a good lover, on getting your partner off first, on connecting with her and you will do fine.

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A male reader, VocalsAndRhythmGuitarist Puerto Rico +, writes (1 March 2010):

VocalsAndRhythmGuitarist agony auntI'll need your user name though.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (1 March 2010):

janniepeg agony auntSize does matter. If you don't want to get an answer you won't be satisfied with, don't ask it. I met a guy who was like 6'3'', but his penis was 4 inches, not even 4.5 inches when erect. He was so charming I couldn't find any insecurity in him. He didn't make his size an issue at all.

I know a pick up line from a guy. He said he's not a 10 but he is, in any way that matters in bed. He's also a sensualist, so that impressed me. A more important thing is to stay hard longer, or to delay cumming.

Asking, "Do you like my cock?" "Is it big enough for you?" is a big NO NO. She would take that as insecurity and that's unattractive.

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A male reader, VocalsAndRhythmGuitarist Puerto Rico +, writes (1 March 2010):

VocalsAndRhythmGuitarist agony auntOkay dude, I'll be totally honest with you.

Size does not matter, have you ever hard the phrase "it's not the size, it's how you use it."?

Man to man conversation, I have a 6" penis, not sure the girth but it's not bad. My girlfriend has been with guys with 8" penis and guys with 9" penis, and with guys with a penis pretty much the same as mine and smaller. (She's been with 9 guys in total, including me) There are many things I'm sure of in my life, and I'm proud of some and ashamed of others, but one thing I am extremely proud of is to be able to make my girl scream of extreme pleasure and orgasm many times, and not only with penetration, but also with oral sex which I started doing for her recently, and was also the first girl I started doing it to. My point is that you just learn to be a great lover, learn techniques on how to penetrate, learn techniques on how to do great cunnilingus. Remember always that it's not the size, it's how you use it, make yourself a student of great sex, search for as many techniques as you can and imagine yourself practicing them live (if you can get a girl don't be afraid to practice them on her, if she dumps you because of the size then move on too) and make yourself a pro. I'm sure that once you master it, the next girl you get won't laugh at your penis's size, maybe she will but when you fuck her she'll be begging for more, and hell, she might even become your sex slave. =) I'm not saying it's a good thing to have a sex slave but it'll sure get your self-esteem up.

I'll send you a link through the mail that'll help you a lot I'm sure.

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