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male
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anonymous
writes: Hey, I am wondering whether to have sex for the 1st time. I am 14 and so is my girlfriend. She has done it before and is kean for me to join her, but I am not entirely sure about what to do.Please help me!P.Enguin Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2006): if your not ready to have sex then i dont think you should. juct bcoz ur girlfriend has had sex b4 dosent mean you have to as well. hope you make the right decision.
A
male
reader, Viper  +, writes (23 February 2006):
 Hey ThereI could be like my parents back in my childhood and say "you are way too young to have sex", but times have changed. In some ways sex is worth it, if you are doing it with the person you love and are using double protection (i say this as getting a girl pregnant at your age can totally wreck both hers and your life.)but quite frankly my parents were right in what they said, I know the whole "sex thing" is quite irresistable to teen minds but if this girl isn't a girl you love and only wants sex with you then you may end up like my friend "x" who is a father and has a 3 year old kid at the age of 17, not a pretty sight for a teenager.If I were in my 14-year-old shoes again (size 9s) lol, I wouldn't get into the whole sex scene just yet, wait at least 2-3 more years and enjoy your childhood while you can.Hope I've HelpedViper
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (23 February 2006):
 you say yourself you are not sure... if your not sure dont, you are still very young there is plenty of time , wait till you are sure
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A
female
reader, Maloletka +, writes (22 February 2006):
 I am turning 20 in few days, and i am still virgin... and i am so happy with that... I am not counting my self as an old and unexperianced lady... i am preally young and am saving my self for the ONE who i love, for my fiance... We getting marry in August, so... i need to wait few more months and then.................we will enjoy it in marriage...!!!!! LOVE+MARRIAGE and only then SEX....
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 February 2006):
 I had sex at 13 and again at 14, and looking back, that was just too young. The teen years are confusing enough, and the physical changes you're going through are just too overwhelming by themselves, without the added pressure of sex, and the possibility of pregnancy or STIs.
Your girlfriend might think she's pretty experienced, having already had sex, but I'd guess that under the bluff exterior, she's probably relieved that you're a bit reluctant. She may only be suggesting sex because she thinks you want it, or because she feels it's the only way to keep your interest. Don't assume that you're "letting down the side" just because she's suggested it and you weren't sure.
The age to have sex is when you feel ready, and there's no question in your own mind. The time is when you're with someone that you care about in a unique way, and who you're totally comfortable with. That can happen at age 14, or it can happen in your 20s. However, it doesn't sound like you're ready, and it doesn't sound like your girlfriend is the partner you need to feel relaxed with.
So I'll give you the same advice that I'd give to a young woman whose boyfriend was pressuring her for sex. Say NO -- and don't be swayed -- until you come to your own conclusion that you want it and you're ready for all the responsibilities that come with it. (Let's not forget that it's completely possible to cause a pregnancy the very first time you have sex with someone. Condoms can come off, or break, or be overlooked and so forth... You have to accept that risk as part of sex.)
The other aspect of sex that tends to get overlooked is that it, once you've started having it, it tends to become a certain expectation, that you'll have sex every time you see each other. That's fine in a mature relationship that has already had time to develop, but when you're young, you tend to miss out on actually getting to know each others' personalities, likes and dislikes, simply because sex is an end in itself.
So don't let her rush you. Think about how you feel. If you're not ready, don't do it. If you are, make supremely sure that you're ready with contraception and, well, have fun.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (18 February 2006):
 Please dont have sex with her, if you are having to write in to us then you really know you are not ready in your own heart.
14 is just too young to enter into a sexual relationship, what if you fathered a child, what if she gives you a sexually transmitted desease, HIV is for life not just length of relationship.
Far to much stuff for you to think about, you need to find a girlfriend who is not interested in a sexual relationship, also remember girls mature much faster than boys.
Enjoy your self without sex
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A
male
reader, GodofGraphics +, writes (18 February 2006):
 If you feel mature enough to make that decision, then you are old enough. Your girlfriend, if she is someone you feel like you care about, and you want to remember forever, then by all means, you are old enough.
The only problem is law, as you are 14, depending where you are, it can be illegal. If you are older that her, or in some cases, the man is done for statutory rape.
If you care about each other, and you both feel ready, if you think she is someone special who you'd like to remember forever, go for it.
Otherwise, hold on, for now anyway.
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