A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend used to have a really high sex drive and now seems to have none. We have gone weeks without sex and I seem to be the only one who cares. When I said something to him about it he actually said to me "Well, I have a lot on my mind and it's not at the top of my priority list". Really! That was so insulting! I know he masturbates to porn sometimes and at first I didn't really mind. But, now I wonder if he prefers that to me? I've spoken to him about it and he assures me that he loves me and everything is okay. But, still we only have sex infrequently and he lets everything else come between our sex life. How can I get him to see how much I need sex? Once a month just isn't getting the job done! Thanks.
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female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Thank you for asking this question. I have a much higher drive than my boyfriend but I only figured this out after I moved in with him. He works from seven to seven and I know how tiring it is to stand up working for twelve hours but he doesn't stand up. It seems like I'm always the one initiating sex and I really don't like that. He used to enjoy sex with me but now it seems like he's bored when we're intimate. Its weird to me too. At least my guy doesn't get off on porn. Good luck, girl. I'm rooting for ya.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (16 September 2008):
Sounds like he could be depressed.
Find out what is on his mind and help him fix it. If you can't then make sure that when he gets home you pamper him and do something different to completely take his mind off his work worries.
My hubbie got depressed recently and his sex drive sank like a stone. I knew what it was so I let it slide and just gave him lots of love in other ways instead.
Keep him feeling loved and make sure you are the thing in his life that means relaxation. if he relaxes and gets happy then he'll feel better and want to have sex.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Well i think the first thing you need to do is find out 'What is on his mind' what is making him want less sex...maybe its something to do with work..if he has actually said i have alot of things on my mind you should of said well lets talk about it!
You cant have great sex or much of sex if your mind is overloading etc or your stressed and worried! So talk to him....
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (16 September 2008):
 I think some people get really lazy when they're in a relationship and do the least they can. Yes he can get his jollies on the net, no sweat, quick and easy, then he's satisfied and where does that leave you? Is this the only area he's selfish in or are you really in the death throes here and maybe don't want to see it? Just a thought. xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): It sounds like he's being selfish. When wanking to porn he only has himself to please. Having proper sex involves making an effort to please you as well, which he might find too energy consuming. In that sense, he probably prefers the porn to you. Once a month wouldn't be anywhere near enough for most healthy relationships.
The only way I can think of to get through to him is to tell him you're not getting enough, and even if it's not at the top of his list of things to do, it certainly comes near the top of your list.
It's just a thought, but maybe he's getting it somewhere else? It seems strange that he once had a strong sex drive but now it's petered out.
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