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anonymous
writes: Hi there,About two weeks ago my brother-in-law introduced me to this guy he used to work with. He had given him my phone number and he called me on a Sunday evening, we chatted for about an hour and he asked me on a date the following Saturday. I agreed. Before the date however, he use to call me and sms me every single day. The day of the date, we had such a great time, he took me out for supper, coffee etc...but he ended coming forward and kissing me...it took me by surprise because i dont generally kiss on the first date. The night ended of sweet. But the next day i waited for his call and he did not, he later sms'd me to tell me that the kiss should not have happened. I was distraught. I did agree with him that we should take it slow. But he has changed since that night...he, well we have not spoken to each other over the phone since that night, he seldom sms's me or emails. I just want to know if i am wasting my time on him. I am so attracted to him, but i honestly dont think he is attracted to me. Have I done anything wrong. How do i approach him without coming on a bit too strong? All i need or want to know is does he want a relationship with him. I am afraid to ask him because i dont want to lose him as a friend. Please help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2005): Yes you are wasting your time. You need to start looking for someone else.
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reader, lucy +, writes (8 June 2005):
I am pretty sure you haven't done anything wrong. I am not sure what his problem is, but maybe it's possible he is with another woman or something? I suggsst you just leave it and find a guy who doesn't mess you around like this! Unless you really like him and think something good could come of the relationship then maybe ask him what the problem is. If it's a good enough excuse maybe you could work on it? x
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2005): I think you should forget about this guy he probably doesnt want you if he regreted it .
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reader, Shane +, writes (7 June 2005):
Hey,Is it possible, just possible, that this man might have some form of...dare I say it...moral code? Despite what some women may have you believe, some of us have them.Possibly he if furious at himself for kissing you so soon. Some guys make a point of only kissing on the second date so as not to seem to eager or so as to respect the woman's boundaries. A first date is about getting to know someone. He probably is guilty for being, as he sees it, selfish for kissing you when you mightn't have been sure or ready. This is only one possibility, but it deserves attention. Text him and let him know that you enjoyed it, it surprised you but that was ok. Tell him that you had a nice date, and that if he was free anytime, you wouldn't be adverse to another. If he was feeling guilty, that should sort it. If he has lost interest, he'll at least have to tell you so. He has asked you out and exposed himself by kissing you. Unless he was totally inebriated at both occasions, he must find you someway attractive.Go out on a limb here and ask the question. Guys are expected to chase girls all the time, but if you want to see where this goes, text him. Take the initiave.Best of luck
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (7 June 2005):
 Perhaps casaully ask if he would like to meet up sometime soon? He may just have got cold feet! Maybe he really likes you but that has scared him! Some men can be like that, it's up to you whether to pursue it or not. To sit in limbo is not nice for anyone.. either ask him if he would like to see you again or you will have to move on.
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reader, Crazy_About_B +, writes (7 June 2005):
All I have to say is YES.Like I always say" There are plenty of fish in the sea."and" There is a man for every woman and a woman for every man."
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (7 June 2005):
 The only way you'll know is if you come right out and ask him if he thinks you two should seek a second date. Then you can put all your feelings to rest. If he doesn't want to pursue a relationship, oh well. You will still have him as a friend.
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