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writes: Dear Cupid,Last month I met this great guy on match.com, he was everything I wanted and I was everything that he wanted in return. We talked over instant messenger and talked over the phone for hours. We both knew how each other looked liked, so that wasn't a problem. He wanted a relationship with me. He calls pet names like honey, baby, and love. He will send me poems that he wrote and dedicate to me through email. The day that the both of us were going to get together to meet, he told me that we should be friends because he's not sure if he wants a relationship with me or not. But he still likes me a lot and still feels some degree of love toward me. He added in the coversation that I may not make you happy and I don't want to lie to you, so I'm telling you ahead of time. It was first meeting over casual lunch and he is already saying all this to me. To me it feels like a breakup but we haven't even dated. I'm confused! Help! What should I do?AVV
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2006): sounds to me like hes hiding something
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2005): Well i dont thinkhe has broken up with you. maybe he just needs time to figure out what he wants from your relationship. dont fret, unless he dumps you or you find he is cheating, you have nothing to worry about.
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (21 June 2005):
I read some of the answers from online folks & Dear Kelly gave you some wise advice about internet dating.The majority of men on dating services LIE THEIR FACES OFF !Most of them are married or sneaking around on their girlfriends.Studies show 1 in 50 are honest & decent, so LEARN to screen them carefully & don't believe anything they say until:1) you meet him in PUBLIC...a place of YOUR choice (not his)married guys want to meet FAR from their home turf.2) you have at least several dates with him & he makes direct eye contact, listens to what you have to say & shows genuine interest in who you are as a person3) Ask him straight out if he is UNATTACHED4) Request his HOME phone number & address..if he has nothing to hide, he will give you both.5) If he calls you late at night or really early in the morning ALOT...that shows he is hiding something.Married guys wait til their wives are asleep or at work.If he starts calling you pet names online when he just met you...that's a RED FLAG...warning bell...watch out !Men are aware that women respond on an emotional level.If he strokes your emotions with "honey, baby & love" when you haven't met or had your first kiss...Run sweetie Run !Last but not least, if he gives you a strong indication that he wants a romance with you & then when he meets you, does a 180 in the opposite direction...Get up & walk away!That type of guy is a PLAYER and a USER.He told you he wants only friendship but still has a degree of love for you...that's a contradiction !Rip the hook out of your mouth & don't let him open his pie hole to try & bait you any more than he already has.I believe, deep in your heart, you already know the answer.Don't be desperate...the right guy is out there waiting!Take your time...screen guys carefully...make them prove themselves...demand respect, honesty & integrity.Guard your heart...you are special & deserve the best !
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reader, robinlovescena +, writes (21 June 2005):
 it sounds to me as if he thinks that you were thinking that you two were serious. it is hard to explain butlisten... ok, everything that he said to you made you feel like you two were getting pretty serious, right? right. ok, he finally realized that he cant have a relationship with someone that he chats with on I.M. and is far awa. long distance realtionships are very hard to deal with. but do you really love him? love is acting like your in love, and how can you show him that you love him when you cant even give him a hug every once in a while? you cant. it is hard to believe, but it is seriously true. think about what you are doing. he is sending you mixed signs. good luck~Robin~aka advice gurl
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reader, Dear Kelly +, writes (20 June 2005):
I would say it sounds like he's got cold feet!!! meaning he does 'like you' and all those things, but prob isn't as confident in himself and his nerves have over come him.perhaps he's scared to make that step as fear of being rejected, i say this because you made a statement that he said to you 'he may not make you happy' this is infact putting 'himself down' which has drawn me to my conclusion.There is also another possibility that he may already have a girlfriend, it could be the reason which to why he's also said he don't wanna 'lie' to you ....i mean - lie about what??? is he hiding something?You said you me him on match.com i'm afraid it's wise to be very wary of these online dating sites cos not everyone is as genuine as they might sound.His made a claim to you that he feels a degree of love towards you, I would say take that as a pinch of salt, especially when guys start to call you pet names, sometimes thats dsone in a way to sweeten people up, and it sounds like it's worked and his won your heart.Forgive me if i'm wrong but you do sound like you are quite young, so just a warning be carefull when your thinking of meeting people from over the internet, as it can be a dangerous game,...especially being as it's only been a month since you have been speaking online and on phone to him, and theres noway he nor you can possibily love or have feelings of love towards each other without not having the chance to meet and knowing each other by face to face over a period of time!I think perhpas the pair of you just feel 'loved up' inside because of the attention and sweet names, do not confuse this with love!take care x
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (20 June 2005):
 Sounds as if your date is only interested in a one night stand. He was all gung-ho about you and doing the little lovey-dovey things for you. Until he met you. Maybe he had a different mental picture of you in mind. Maybe he was disappointed because he had high physical expectations of you. Either way, it's obviously not exactly as you imagined your meeting with him would take you. It's OK. You can let go of him. He is not worthy of your affections if he is already acting like this after your first date. Be glad that your friendship didn't go on and on before you saw his true colors. You will meet someone else, trust me. And as for your feelings, cheer up honey. The right man is out there, wait and see. Take care.
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