A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for about 3 weeks. We are both young I'm 20 he is 21. I'm in university and he has a part time job. We have amazing sexual chemistry and he is a very considerate and affectionate guy, a "good guy. But he has broken some of my usual dating deal breakers . He doesn't have a full time job, he is reckless with valuables and money, he is disorganised, he doesn't have a plan for his future. Right now he doesn't have even £15 to take me on a date. I told him I wanted to stop dating him but he remained persistent that he wanted me and so we continued but I haven't told him that he has broken my deal breakers, but I just have a lot of lust and desire for him. Shall I continue seeing him or call it quits( so tough) ?
View related questions:
money, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 April 2016):
 He’s being reckless with his own valuables and money? Or someone else’s?
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 April 2016):
 Are you planning on getting married within the next two years? If not, then just enjoy the great sex and leave the more serious dating for when you're ready for marriage.
I think all women deserve great sex in their lives. If you don't enjoy this now when you have it, who's to say that man who doesn't have any red flags, will have this great chemistry with you? So, you should indulge this while it lasts, even if it's just for a few months.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2016): The fact he is so young and doesn't have the drive to work full time is just lazy. The amount of money anyone earns doesn't matter, what matters is they show a passion for something in life and are driven to do something. Reckless spending when he doesn't work hard is bothering you, don't settle for someone who isn't right for you.
You won't be able to change him, and he could just say things to please you if you do try. If he's not compatible with you then tell him kindly and have an amicable split.
...............................
A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (4 April 2016):
 I guess it's a matter of what you want at the moment. If all you want is a fling and you think you're capable of that without getting involved then go in with both eyes open and don't let his problems become your problems. If you aren't careful you'll find yourself taking care of him financially and organising his life, like his mother, nothing is less sexy than that.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2016): If you want to lower your standards in order to continue getting laid, then he will be perfectly content to tell you what you want to hear as long as you keep putting out for him.The problem with hopping into bed with virtual strangers is that they're virtual strangers about whom you know virtually nothing. Who knows how many psycho exes and/or baby mamas are in his past, and he could be holding other unsavory secrets. You already know enough to know that at this point he is not suitable long-term relationship material and if you think you can somehow magically change him into the guy you want him to be then you will be very disappointed. In the meantime be scrupulous about birth control and STD protection. Do you really want to be stuck for the next eighteen raising an unwanted kid by yourself with no help from a lazy, unmotivated, irresponsible sperm donor?
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (4 April 2016):
Call it quits. If you could really look past these issues, I’d encourage you to be open-minded and see how it goes for a bit longer. But it’s quite clear to me that you can’t. These things are stopping you from considering him acceptable dating material. Ultimately, you have to ask yourself whether there is anything more than sexual chemistry here. It really does not sound like it. It’s not fair to him if he doesn’t know how incompatible you really are, so be honest and break it off.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
female
reader, wrathykins +, writes (4 April 2016):
 Well all your 'red flags' seem to be money related. He works part time, the money he has isn't going to be great is it?
What you'll find with making a plan for the future is that it very rarely goes the way you want it to. I'm 24, I don't really have much of plan. There's nothing wrong with that!
I don't know many 20/21 year olds that do.
I think it's a shame that you are willing to break this off because he doesn't have much money. So what?! If you enjoy spending time with him, money doesn't matter.
...............................
|
