A
female
age
36-40,
*atoyia_pooh21
writes:Hi I am 23 yrs old and I've been dating this guy for 5yrs on and off again. Well, in that time he have had other girlfriends and I have had other boyfriends, but we never stopped having sex with each other. We always been there for each other no matter what, even if we are dating other people. I love him with all my heart and I dont want to be with anyone but him. he tells me he loves me and cares for me also. He says he's scared to be in a relationship with me because he dont want to hurt me, by cheating on me. But at the same time he gets mad when I start dating other guys. He's confusing me and I dont know what to do. Do he want me or do he want me when he want me? I'm so Confused...HELP Me Please!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, latoyia_pooh21 +, writes (27 August 2009):
latoyia_pooh21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks Guys for all your help. A lot of things you guy said made me think and reevaluate my situation. Thanks again!!!
A
male
reader, sickofgirls4real  +, writes (26 August 2009):
Im a man. I LOVE my girl. If I ever found out she was with another person, I would go crazy to a point where I honestly would probably end up in jail for a very very long time.At the same time, I've had plenty girls offer it to me. The first time I took the bait. I couldnt get it up, (never happened before) wasnt even drunk. It took the other girl like almost an hour to get me hard. Once we did have sex, which was honestly the only sex I ever had that i didnt enjoy, i went to the bathroom, took off the condom, and threw up several times. I threw up on the way home, and once I got home. I drove to my girls house in another city through a rain storm and told her what I did. she could see I was almost deranged with guilt and somehow loved me enough to forgive me.Now you might be thinking that Im this type of person. I've NEVER had a girlfriend (27 to date) that I havnt cheated on. I never ever cared. I didnt like hurting their feelings, I knew I was wrong, but really deep down, after the tears, I never really cared.I would never do this to my girl. I would never place anyone before her, I have no interest in other girls and I probably will never find a person who I could love like I love her. That is love. What your boyfriend has for you is not love. Its a little bit of infatuation, a little lust, a little guarenteed sex. I've been there before. With 2 girls. Let me explain exactly what is going on through his head.He is holding on to you until he finds someone better and that he actually loves. Then he will dump your ass quick and his girl will ensure he basically ignores you. or...He wont find anyone and will resort to plan B. (thats where you come in)If he truly loved you, it wouldnt be a problem with commitment. He couldnt live without you. I dont have to commit to breathing air, if i dont do it, I die. The same goes with love. If he truly loved you, nothing could stop him from being with you. He's stopped by the fact that "he dont want to hurt you by cheating on you."Hahaha. Its a joke. Find someone who will really love you baby. Dont spend your best years on someone who CLEARLY doesnt care.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (26 August 2009):
 It's time for a reality check here.
Let me get out my trusty Playa-to-English dictionary and translate some things for you:
"I don't want to hurt you with my cheating" = "I am a bad boyfriend who can't stay faithful, and I don't want to drive off the only woman that gives me sex when I want it."
"I'm jealous of you seeing other men" = "I don't want you seeing anyone because you'll stop having sex with me."
"I care about you" = "I am too much of a punk to make a real commitment, but I'll tell you something nice to keep you around."
If you want to know how a man really feels about you, look at his actions, not his words. He has had plenty of opportunities to make you his one and only, but he hasn't and he won't. Break this off and don't settle for anything less than you deserve.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, aisforacting +, writes (26 August 2009):
 You two love each other. Right? ask him if anyone else could make him feel the way you make him feel? The only way you two will know if you two truly belong together is if you try. So try. He probably loves you just as much as you love him.
Tell him how much you love him. Tell him what makes you love him. Ask him to imagine you two together!
I hope everything goes well(:
Goodluck darling!
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A
female
reader, Jolin  +, writes (26 August 2009):
 well, dear.. that's true if a man loves a woman, he will not want her but for himself..
in this case..if he said that he loves you, but you are not his girlfriend..
now..imagine it happen to me.. there's a man, he said he loves me so much..we have sex all everytime with me..
but for the people around us(friends, colleague, family, etc)
and in the day light when everybody can see him with who
and in the shopping center
and in the public..
this man hold other girl's hand..NO SNEAKING OUT AT ALL..
now answer me..do you think this man wants me as a girlfriend, or he wants me as his sex partner?
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A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (26 August 2009):
Hey, hopefully this will help.
I was in love with this girl once, and we dated for almost four years same situation on again off again, still sleeping together, still see other people but jealousy every time a new relationship from either party would evolve.
I walked away from her from FEAR of commitment, and that sounds exactly like what your victim to. He is getting all of the benefits and comforts of being with a long term significant other, without being attached so guilt free he can sleep with whomever.
Its difficult, because youre always so blinded by how "true" the love appears to be. And it hurts like hell to walk away, but you could find someone who loves you, and would never ever consider the idea of leaving you in hopes of finding something better.
You could find a guy who wants to be a constant in your life, so lay it on the line. Say I want all of you, or none . Its that simple. if he isnt willing to adhere to your proposal, you walk. You have to be confident and KNOW with every fiber of your being you are worth the world.
Hope it helps
-IYDM
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