A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I was dating this girl for over a year, and we had sex a few months ago. Just recently (last night) we broke up, I do love and care about her, I just felt like the relationship was far too serious, and I did not want to be in anymore. After we broke up, she threatened to tell her dad, and said that her dad is going to have me put in Jail for statutory rape or however you spell it. The sex was consentual, we are not 3 years apart (I'm 17, she's 15)Can I really be put in jail because of this? I didn't DO anything wrong. She's actually the one that pressured me into it ..
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male
reader, agonyunclechris  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 hi unfortunatly you can be put in jail for statutory rape whether she consented to it or not.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): Are you kidding, LJ001? What planet are you living on? Not this one.
He's an older male and she's a younger female. It doesn't matter what the truth was.
If she claims rape with her family's backing, and the law says he could be prosecuted for it, then he will absolutely got to jail.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): Don't worry, they definitely wouldn't put you in jail for it. If something as radical as telling the police DID happen, you were going out with her, and they won't just suddenly turn on you. You dated her for over a year, so this shows them that she trusted you a lot, and a year is quite a long time to put up an act, so they couldn't accuse you of acting.
I think saying something like this will just be her nasty way of getting back at you, try not to be too worried. I doubt she would have the guts to tell her father anyway to be honest.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 February 2008):
 I just looked up the statute for you. It is legal to have sex with a minor if the actor is not more than three years older.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 February 2008):
I wouldn't worry about the mom either. She'll realize, all though they live half way across the country, in order to do anything she'll have to return to California.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, i neglected to mention one thing, it's not my ex girlfriend herself who's threatening..
Her mom had known we had sex, and was fine with it. But the moment that I broke up, the very next day my ex calls me and tells me that her mom is going to tell her dad about it, and her dad will press charges if he finds out.
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female
reader, zeddiebear  +, writes (6 February 2008):
Do you have any e-mails or anything that can show that she wanted to have sex? you know like dirty e-mails... keep them on hand in case this does end up in the court.You're Dad prob'ly told you that you are screwed since he is peeved off and scared for you too. Talk to a lawyer.When she told you that she was gonna tell her dad for the sole purpose of getting you into trouble was that in e-mail form or was it verbal? If it was writen PRINT OUT THE E-MAILWhat you can do which will require some thought will be to try and get her to admit (unwittingly) that she's doing this to be vengeful. When you have the email just print it and keep it in a file. You could do the same with the phone if you have a voice recorder and record the conversation. I have no idea how you will aproach the topic or what you can say to get her to come out with the truth once again maybe these lovely folks here on Dear Cupid can help!Girls can be so b-tchy some times.Good luck. keep us posted. By far the most interesting problem I've read (i meant that in the most non-b-tchy way)
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male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (5 February 2008):
Once again I do not believe that Statutory Rape can exist between a 17 year old and a 15 year old. Now my understanding is that the California Code will regard both you and her as under the age of consent which I think is 18 in that state. Therefore you are not considered an adult either.
Of course you should consult with a lawyer to find out the exact position. I suspect it will set your mind at rest. At the end of the day this site is useful but cannot offer you legal advice with any confidence.
As for the age of consent in different places I referred to a web site called www.ageofconsent.com so check with that if you like.
Good luck and do not panic.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, It's like. Fuckin' christ man, I'm 17 I don't want to deal with "no less then 10, no more than 20 years" or a 2 thousand dollar fine or have to register as a sex offender
Sigh, thanks for the help guys.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (5 February 2008):
Yea. I'd say you keep your questions and answers on here, copy and paste them to a word document with the dates. This way it proves you're attempt to seek assistance, prior to being charged with anything. Second, your sex with her took place in your state. In order for any charges to be pressed they have to do so through the California D.A. The case would be under the jurisdiction within the state and county the offence took place.
As I said before, you have the length of your relationship going for you as well. She left her state and came to yours with the purpose of visiting you.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 February 2008):
 If this was a "long distance" romance as you indicated, and you were not directly involved in bringing her to California, then I really doubt that a sexual abuse of a minor case or statutory rape charge would cross the state lines. However, you might want to consider that this posting on DearCupid could possibly be used as evidence if she or her parents are aware you visit here.
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male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (5 February 2008):
For Statutory Rape the accused must be a legal adult which at 17 you are not. From reading some of the other answers I think some people have confused a charge of rape with a charge of statutory rape.
For a Rape charge to be defended against it is important to prove that the sex was consensual. Clearly the length of time you were dating and if you had sex throughout a lot of that time, then you should be able to offer a reasonable defence.
For a Statutory Rape charge all the prosecution has to prove is that the legal requirements as far as age apply in this case and that sex has taken place. It does not matter at all whether the sex was consensual or not. An adult having sex with a minor even if the minor agrees or even if the minor has actually seduced the adult, is still a crime against the minor by the adult and the adult will be charged with Statutory Rape. Such a charge can even be brought many years later but is clearly much harder to prove. All that counts in such a case is what age were the two parties at the time it happened.
As far as I am aware there is no jurisdiction that would consider a sexual relationship between a 17 year old and a 15 year old to constitute Statutory Rape so I think you are safe in that regard. You are still a minor yourself even though you are now over the age of consent.
It is worth pointing out that if she was much younger, say 11 or 12 and you were 17 then Statutory Rape and other equally serious charges would likely apply because that would be seen as a clear case of child abuse and not just a couple of teenagers close in age with unrestrained hormones. In that circumstance the prosecution would likely be granted permission to try the offender as an adult. But as that does not apply to what you have described then it is nothing to worry about.
As for how to deal with her. Be kind. Do not be condescending or spiteful or bitchy. Just be kind and respectful. Do not get drawn into an argument or row and if it looks like that is what is going to happen, leave, get out, go away. A fire requires fuel so if you take away the fuel it will go out though it may take some time.
I wish you luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell shit man, is there anything I can do to defend myself? o_o; The way my dad is making it seem is that, no matter what I say, they'll take her word over mine, and I'm screwed and shouldn't have had sex ..
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (5 February 2008):
Learn something new. This is the reason you need to check in the state you reside. I thought it was law everywhere that someone over 18 could not have sexual relationships with someone under 18. In the state I live someone 15 and 16 may have sexual relationships with someone not more than 10 years older. Age 17 is age of concent.
Quite a few states the age of concent is 18. Two minors who engage in sex is different than an adult and a minor as far as statutory rape. Now in order for her to charge you, she's have to prove, he side was not consentual. This will be a very difficult task seeing how you dated for a year. Truthfully, how many daughters just run up and tell their dad's that they had sex?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (4 February 2008):
 if she tries to have you charged deny it ever took place...
two can play at that game
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): YES! You can be charged with 'statutory rape', but it is highly unlikely you will go to jail. Your age difference is very close, plus you both are juveniles.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): Legally, yes you can be put in jail for this unless you can prove unequivocally that the sex was consensual and unless you have her on tape agreeing that she wanted to have sex then this seems unlikely. Laws are there to protect us, not spoil our fun, and if she wants to wreck your life this way she can. I wuld just hope and pray she has a conscience
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, it's a long distance relationship, and she came to visit me in California, she lives in Georgia...
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male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (4 February 2008):
 The laws are different state to state. But most states have the legal age for kids to have sex at 16. It could be considered sexual assault since you're older than her. Stay away from this girl. She sounds like trouble and the fact that shes even threatening you with rape when you clearly know it wasnt is a power trip on her part...and a threat she shouldnt be toying with unless she meant it.
Just be nice to her and say nice knowing you..see ya when you're 16.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (4 February 2008):
It depends on where you live, and how determined her parents might be if told. It's a fairly difficult thing to prove, and in some states, the relatively small difference in age (less than three years) may exonerate you.
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 I believe the American Aunties will be best to answer this. But from my understanding the law differs from State to State. But I imagine in any State she will be considered a minor, so if she goes through with her threat you could be in a lot of trouble.
The best thing to do is tell your parents - it will be hard but you will need their support if she does.
And use this as a lesson, do not have sex with minors no matter how young you think you are .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): No, you are not going to go to jail. I don't think you did anything wrong by sleeping with a 15 yr old when you are only 17 yourself. You are only two years older than her. You are both teenagers, almost the same age.
That's ridiculous. She is crazy for even thinking that. She's just mad that you guys broke up and was trying to be vengeful. But legally, she has got nothing on you.
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